The song itself isn’t literally about the end of the world but it rather sums up how I’m feeling having watched Celtic crumble again away from home. This time to Rangers.
This wasn’t heroic failure, this wasn’t “well they left everything on the pitch but just came up short” - no, this was hands up, white flag waving surrender and yet somewhere in the back of the mind of every Celtic fan we have to think “we saw this coming.”
Celtic haven’t been a great watch this season. Yes yours truly has been guilty of overhyping the team at times but as poor as Rangers have been, Celtic weren’t a great deal better.
Having themselves crashed out of Europe, humiliated by LASK in Austria and demoted to the Europa League, other than a 3-0 drubbing of Aberdeen (a very very poor Aberdeen side (who’ll probably beat us at Pittodrie)) Celtic have scraped by on 1 goal victories. 1-0 v newly promoted St Johnstone 2-1 v Falkirk, 2-1 v St Mirren. Eventually the luck was bound to run out, and so it did spectacularly on Sunday.
There was no fluke about this victory either, Rangers wanted it more and Celtic fans are left in the cold grey dawn of a miserable Monday to reflect.
So let’s reflect. Starting line up. Sam Johnstone in goal. An on loan keeper who’s chucked in to what is potentially the biggest game he’s ever likely to play in. Clearly nervous, making mistakes from early on his nervousness seemed to permeate throughout the team. Austin Trusty regular centre back benched but ready to come on as a substitute if needed yet never did. Tounekti who must have, by now, played his last game for Celtic, along with McGregor in midfield, who seemed to have forgotten which team he played for as pass after pass landed at the feet of a Rangers player. Nygren who looked decidedly uninterested whilst Høgh and Durán receiving little to no service and when Høgh did finally find the ball at his feet managed to fall over it or slip.
I cannot for the life of me understand why you’d go out and buy attacking players then nullify that attack by being unable to get the ball to them in the first place. Our midfield were awful, our defence nervous and our attack missing in action.
Where Rangers got their tactics spot on Celtic had no plan b to counter them.
Every position Rangers were better, every attack they looked dangerous. The same obviously cannot be said for Celtic.
So how can “I feel fine” about this?
Simple really. We got what we deserved.
If Celtic had turned up won by a solitary goal we’d be ignoring the facts and instead celebrating another Glasgow Derby victory.
Good teams will run all over this Rangers team and that’s worrying from a Celtic perspective. We are bereft of quality players in midfield, in defence and most definitely between the sticks. Many have said this for weeks and I’ve been guilty of burying my head in the sand, hoping that the fragility of this team wouldn’t be exposed. We knew it was there, but some of us tried hard to pretend it was a temporary glitch and things would click into place. We’ve rode our luck on numerous occasions and when teams have found our Achilles heel they’ve brutally exploited it. LASK did it, Rangers did it and no doubt others will too.
Martin O’Neill and his back room staff must also take their share of the blame. There was a look of “I don’t know what to do” on Martin’s face. Panic substitutions, too little and too late. Why Tounekti starts before Hassan is head scratchingly bizarre. Surely you play your strongest available eleven from the start and make individual substitutions as players tire or to change formation? But not Celtic. For some reason Martin et al decide to play with weak links and then pray it wouldn’t blow up in their face.
It was evident from the tenth minute that Rangers were the side likely to win this match. As early as the tenth minute. The biggest surprise being it took to the 23rd minute to expose Celtic's weaknesses. At half time with the score 1-0 to the home side I fully expected a change of shape, defence solidified and Tounekti hooked. Only one of these things actually happened. Instead we played with the same formation and created very very little. When Rangers added a second on 59 mins a third looked inevitable. And so it transpired as Rangers' hero of the hour Dan Neill powered home his second and the Rangers had their victory and their new idol.
So were there any positives for Celtic fans? Yes two perhaps. We might never see Johnstone or Tounekti in Celtic shirts again.
The fear is this may only be the beginning. We have Europa League football to endure this Thursday before facing Rangers again at home next Sunday.
Both on and off the pitch serious questions need to be asked from the board to the management down to the team.
Celtic faced a blue tsunami on Sunday and were ill prepared for what they were about to face and it showed.
Battered, bruised and bullied, swept away by a team who simply wanted it more. A team with a point to prove.
So as I sit here reflecting I have to congratulate both the Rangers team and management for what was a fully deserved win. For as bad as Celtic were Rangers somehow managed to make them look worse.
A week is a long time in football but is it long enough? I guess next weekend will tell us much much more.
So that’s it from me this week. I can’t sugar coat this, putting a ribbon on dog shit doesn’t make it anything other than dog shit with a bow on top.
Enjoy your week, whatever you're doing, do it safely, be happy (if possible) and be well.
🐼 Gary Robertson is the TPQ Scottish football correspondent.
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