Gary Robertson ⚽A phone call can really mess up your train of thought.
Here I was flowing with ideas, packed with facts and figures, ready to write the column of my life . . . Then it rang. There was no point in hoping it was for someone else. I live alone nor was there any chance the call would be a short one. As soon as the name appeared on my screen my brain switched off as I did the man art of pretending to listen and nod, occasionally slipping a strategic "yes" "no" or "aye that's not good" into what was essentially a monologue about everything from my son's apparent inability to rise from his slumber before lunchtime on his days off university to the pros and cons of "the fat jag".
None of this has anything whatsoever to do with football but now as I write I'm struggling to find a starting point.
I guess Thursday might be a good one. Sure let's begin there.
With only Hearts and Celtic being Scotland's last two representatives in European competition this season I decided the honourable thing to do would be to watch both games and give an honest appraisal - after all that's what I'm here to do.
So let me sum up Thursday in two words - beautiful chaos.
Scottish teams losing in Europe is hardly something new but when you gift the opposition two of their three goals - the first being an OG from McCart and the other only twelve minutes later when a hashed clearance landed at the feet of Labeau to slot home from close range - you begin to question whether God is actually a fan of the SPL or does he sit there rather like a Scottish football correspondent from the BBC and show only a passing interest?
Thun, who are struggling big time domestically, grabbed a third before the one piece of quality that Hearts did show, a header from Findlay at least gave the travelling Jambos some cheer on a chilly night. 3-1 considering injuries and shoddy defending was looking back perhaps not such a bad result for the lads from the Gorgie Road.
Then came Celtic.
I swithered whether or not to watch this game all week but I felt a sense of duty to do so. Like the vast majority of Hoopites dread was the overwhelming emotion that gripped all but the most ardent and optimistic of fans.
Celtic's European record has this season been dismal. Since the hiding away to LASK that ended the Champions League dream for another year they have failed to pick up a single point in the Europa League and again little was expected against Turkish giants Besiktas.
It was hard to envisage what was to come, impossible if I'm brutally honest once the away side took the lead. Massive credit to Sam Johnstone who saved the penalty awarded for a stupid challenge by Lotomba but when the rebound was fired into the net it was Déjà vu all over again least that was the expectation. At this point with nothing to lose Martin made three changes just after the hour mark that would turn this game on its head.
Out went Tounekti, Høgh and Forrest - in came Osmand, Duran and Donovan, and within seconds a lovely cross field pass from McGregor was fired home by Osmand and Celtic Park erupted.
The team with the backing of the crowd carried on a drive that's been lacking then saw scorer turn provider as Osmand set up Duran who expertly rounded the keeper and fired Celtic into a most unexpected lead. The delirium would last only 7 mins when the away side with a speculative shot found the bottom corner of the net. Celtic weren't done with yet and in moments heroes are needed and Celtic have one in Camilo Duran, the Colombian wonder kid side footing close home from Tierney's scuffed shot to grab his second, and once again the Bhoys had the lead.
I think at this point God probably tuned in, thought we'd suffered enough, and the victory was Celtic's.
Dreamland.
Saturday
A plethora of goals, sixty one in fact, scored across all four of Scotland's top flight leagues, I could be here all week talking just about Saturday alone.
You'll be glad to know I've picked out a few highlights from this round of matches.
Hibernian travelled to Aberdeen both desperately in need of points. Sitting at the bottom of the table in November isn't where anyone wants to be yet that's where Hibernian were.
Having come off the back of a victory over city rivals Hearts in the League Cup semi final the men from Easter Road played with a swagger that defied their lowly position and trounced the Dons 4-0. There was no fluke about this result. It was well earned and those who made the 256 mile round trip from Edinburgh to Aberdeen and back were well rewarded for their faith.
Elsewhere Motherwell and Dundee United fought out a 1-1 draw, St Johnstone overcame Dundee 2-1, and in the evening (an 8pm kick off) Rangers travelled to Paisley to face St Mirren.
The home side did make the visitors work for their victory although once again it took a dubious penalty for Rangers to break the deadlock in the 18th minute when Penrice, who should probably stay indoors the next time there's a windy day, threw himself to the floor after being breathed on by St Mirren's Ramos, the ref Nick Walsh pointed to the spot. VAR didn't want to get involved, it seemed, and Naderi did the rest - 1-0 to Rangers.
Much huffing and puffing ensued and it took to the 61st minute for Dan Neil to double the lead and restore the smile to McInnes' face.
This put Rangers a point behind Celtic (having played the same number of matches) it was up to Celtic on Sunday to extend the gap again.
Other highlights from Saturday
A 7 goal thriller between Morton and Stenhousemuir, a victory for the home side by a single goal made all the more remarkable having played the majority of the match with ten players, having Okkie (of Morton) shown a straight red in the 26th minute.
An impressive 4-1 victory at home by Arbroath (another place thermals are needed in summer) over Ayr and a hard won 1-0 victory by Partick over hapless Queens Park who now find themselves six points adrift while Partick sit pretty on 28 at the top of the table on a three point cushion.
The shock result of the day however came in League one where bottom of the table Cove Rangers fired four past high flyers Hamilton without reply.
It would appear the Accies have hit a bit of a wobble and while Ross County continue to do their thing, win, a 4-1 victory over lowly Peterhead and with only three points covering the bottom five it#s the league to watch for thrills and spills for sure. There's now a five point gap at the top as Ross relentlessly roll on.
League Two and with victories for both Stranraer and Clyde the table remains the same. Only goal difference separates the two at the top à further six points back to Elgin in third.
Sunday
Hearts on an unbeaten home league record that stretches back to last year faced Falkirk who themselves were on a decent run of form having won their previous four including last week over Celtic.
The Bairns showed their victory over Celtic was no fluke as they flew out the traps their first scored on four minutes and by halftime they were 4-0 ahead.
Second half having done all the hard work they took the foot of the gas slightly after scoring a fifth in 47 minutes giving Hearts a glimmer of hope as the home side fans (those who remained) were rewarded with a first goal in Hearts colours for Frenchman Guendouz and a 75th minute penalty from Braga.
Celtic v Kilmarnock was pretty much a non event. The home side made hard, very hard work overcoming Neil McCanns side 1-0. Granted excuses could be made I guess after Thursday's efforts so let's not judge too harshly.
For me at least while the game was dull, settled by a solitary goal from Liam Scales' head, three points going into yet another international break keeps the wolves from the door for now and makes life a little more comfortable but this Celtic team.
If I do have a worry though it would be O'Neills admission to Sky Sports news that he's still not 100% sure of his best team.
This for me at least took a little of the shine away from what had been a fantastic, then adequate couple of performances by the team.
If you don't know by now Martin and it's November . . . 🤔
So that's that for this week. There's so much more I could rant about. For instance McAvennie's moronic comment about Auston Trusty taking time off to attend his fathers funeral as "woke nonsense" (he has since apologised but I suspect not because he in a moment of clarity thought "that was stupid" - money talks).
Whatever you're doing do it well, stay safe and have fun.
Here I was flowing with ideas, packed with facts and figures, ready to write the column of my life . . . Then it rang. There was no point in hoping it was for someone else. I live alone nor was there any chance the call would be a short one. As soon as the name appeared on my screen my brain switched off as I did the man art of pretending to listen and nod, occasionally slipping a strategic "yes" "no" or "aye that's not good" into what was essentially a monologue about everything from my son's apparent inability to rise from his slumber before lunchtime on his days off university to the pros and cons of "the fat jag".
None of this has anything whatsoever to do with football but now as I write I'm struggling to find a starting point.
I guess Thursday might be a good one. Sure let's begin there.
With only Hearts and Celtic being Scotland's last two representatives in European competition this season I decided the honourable thing to do would be to watch both games and give an honest appraisal - after all that's what I'm here to do.
So let me sum up Thursday in two words - beautiful chaos.
An injury ravaged Hearts side travelled to Thun in Switzerland and once again chaotic defending and sheer bad luck contributed to the Edinburgh side's loss.
Scottish teams losing in Europe is hardly something new but when you gift the opposition two of their three goals - the first being an OG from McCart and the other only twelve minutes later when a hashed clearance landed at the feet of Labeau to slot home from close range - you begin to question whether God is actually a fan of the SPL or does he sit there rather like a Scottish football correspondent from the BBC and show only a passing interest?
Thun, who are struggling big time domestically, grabbed a third before the one piece of quality that Hearts did show, a header from Findlay at least gave the travelling Jambos some cheer on a chilly night. 3-1 considering injuries and shoddy defending was looking back perhaps not such a bad result for the lads from the Gorgie Road.
Then came Celtic.
I swithered whether or not to watch this game all week but I felt a sense of duty to do so. Like the vast majority of Hoopites dread was the overwhelming emotion that gripped all but the most ardent and optimistic of fans.
Celtic's European record has this season been dismal. Since the hiding away to LASK that ended the Champions League dream for another year they have failed to pick up a single point in the Europa League and again little was expected against Turkish giants Besiktas.
It was hard to envisage what was to come, impossible if I'm brutally honest once the away side took the lead. Massive credit to Sam Johnstone who saved the penalty awarded for a stupid challenge by Lotomba but when the rebound was fired into the net it was Déjà vu all over again least that was the expectation. At this point with nothing to lose Martin made three changes just after the hour mark that would turn this game on its head.
Out went Tounekti, Høgh and Forrest - in came Osmand, Duran and Donovan, and within seconds a lovely cross field pass from McGregor was fired home by Osmand and Celtic Park erupted.
The team with the backing of the crowd carried on a drive that's been lacking then saw scorer turn provider as Osmand set up Duran who expertly rounded the keeper and fired Celtic into a most unexpected lead. The delirium would last only 7 mins when the away side with a speculative shot found the bottom corner of the net. Celtic weren't done with yet and in moments heroes are needed and Celtic have one in Camilo Duran, the Colombian wonder kid side footing close home from Tierney's scuffed shot to grab his second, and once again the Bhoys had the lead.
I think at this point God probably tuned in, thought we'd suffered enough, and the victory was Celtic's.
Dreamland.
Saturday
A plethora of goals, sixty one in fact, scored across all four of Scotland's top flight leagues, I could be here all week talking just about Saturday alone.
You'll be glad to know I've picked out a few highlights from this round of matches.
Hibernian travelled to Aberdeen both desperately in need of points. Sitting at the bottom of the table in November isn't where anyone wants to be yet that's where Hibernian were.
Having come off the back of a victory over city rivals Hearts in the League Cup semi final the men from Easter Road played with a swagger that defied their lowly position and trounced the Dons 4-0. There was no fluke about this result. It was well earned and those who made the 256 mile round trip from Edinburgh to Aberdeen and back were well rewarded for their faith.
Elsewhere Motherwell and Dundee United fought out a 1-1 draw, St Johnstone overcame Dundee 2-1, and in the evening (an 8pm kick off) Rangers travelled to Paisley to face St Mirren.
The home side did make the visitors work for their victory although once again it took a dubious penalty for Rangers to break the deadlock in the 18th minute when Penrice, who should probably stay indoors the next time there's a windy day, threw himself to the floor after being breathed on by St Mirren's Ramos, the ref Nick Walsh pointed to the spot. VAR didn't want to get involved, it seemed, and Naderi did the rest - 1-0 to Rangers.
Much huffing and puffing ensued and it took to the 61st minute for Dan Neil to double the lead and restore the smile to McInnes' face.
This put Rangers a point behind Celtic (having played the same number of matches) it was up to Celtic on Sunday to extend the gap again.
Other highlights from Saturday
A 7 goal thriller between Morton and Stenhousemuir, a victory for the home side by a single goal made all the more remarkable having played the majority of the match with ten players, having Okkie (of Morton) shown a straight red in the 26th minute.
An impressive 4-1 victory at home by Arbroath (another place thermals are needed in summer) over Ayr and a hard won 1-0 victory by Partick over hapless Queens Park who now find themselves six points adrift while Partick sit pretty on 28 at the top of the table on a three point cushion.
The shock result of the day however came in League one where bottom of the table Cove Rangers fired four past high flyers Hamilton without reply.
It would appear the Accies have hit a bit of a wobble and while Ross County continue to do their thing, win, a 4-1 victory over lowly Peterhead and with only three points covering the bottom five it#s the league to watch for thrills and spills for sure. There's now a five point gap at the top as Ross relentlessly roll on.
League Two and with victories for both Stranraer and Clyde the table remains the same. Only goal difference separates the two at the top à further six points back to Elgin in third.
Sunday
Hearts on an unbeaten home league record that stretches back to last year faced Falkirk who themselves were on a decent run of form having won their previous four including last week over Celtic.
The Bairns showed their victory over Celtic was no fluke as they flew out the traps their first scored on four minutes and by halftime they were 4-0 ahead.
Second half having done all the hard work they took the foot of the gas slightly after scoring a fifth in 47 minutes giving Hearts a glimmer of hope as the home side fans (those who remained) were rewarded with a first goal in Hearts colours for Frenchman Guendouz and a 75th minute penalty from Braga.
A final score of 5-2 to the away side continued their fine run and they now find themselves in third spot in the SPL.
Celtic v Kilmarnock was pretty much a non event. The home side made hard, very hard work overcoming Neil McCanns side 1-0. Granted excuses could be made I guess after Thursday's efforts so let's not judge too harshly.
For me at least while the game was dull, settled by a solitary goal from Liam Scales' head, three points going into yet another international break keeps the wolves from the door for now and makes life a little more comfortable but this Celtic team.
If I do have a worry though it would be O'Neills admission to Sky Sports news that he's still not 100% sure of his best team.
This for me at least took a little of the shine away from what had been a fantastic, then adequate couple of performances by the team.
If you don't know by now Martin and it's November . . . 🤔
So that's that for this week. There's so much more I could rant about. For instance McAvennie's moronic comment about Auston Trusty taking time off to attend his fathers funeral as "woke nonsense" (he has since apologised but I suspect not because he in a moment of clarity thought "that was stupid" - money talks).
Whatever you're doing do it well, stay safe and have fun.
Til next time …… 🐼
🐼 Gary Robertson is the TPQ Scottish football correspondent.
🐼 Gary Robertson is the TPQ Scottish football correspondent.















