Halfwits At Halfords

Dixie Elliot ✒ The wing mirror on my Mitsubishi Lancer 2006; last four digits of my chassis number ... 1089, is badly cracked.

So I phoned Halfords on Crescent Link to see if they had one of those stick on wing mirrors.

I phoned their Derry number and was answered by a lady with an English accent, who asked me how she could help me. I asked her was I through to the Crescent Link store and she said no that I was through to the Halford call center.

Me: "Could you put me through to Crescent Link in Derry please?"

English lady: "Could you hold the line?"

From that point on I was listening to some boyo who seemed to be trying to learn to play a Mexican tune on a guitar. I'm not joking, it was that bad. I actually thought he was trying out different strings to see how they sounded.

Over ten minutes later a male voice interrupted the racket, "Glad to have been of assistance."
Then he hung up.

I phoned them back and got through to an English lady in the call center again. I told her what happened; the guitar player for over ten minutes then the boyo congratulating himself for doing nothing.

This English lady denied being the English lady who had put me through to the guitar player and apologised for what had happened.

The English Lady then asked, "Can I help you?"

Me: "Yes, take the guitar off Carlos Santana and tell him to answer the phone."

Silence on the other end.

Me: "l'll drive over to Crescent Link myself - it''ll be quicker."

Thomas Dixie Elliot is a Derry artist and a former H Block Blanketman.

Follow Dixie Elliot on Twitter @IsMise_Dixie