Sean Mallory shares his caustic view of just about everyone ... 

Northward towards the epicentre of the global pandemic, ‘norn iron’, which no longer constitutes part of the concept of ‘Ireland’ according to FG and FF.

Stormont resurrected by FG and the Tories, two parties that have recently shafted the Stormont participants and also one of which refuses to recognise another’s election victory, was back up and running.

Foster having survived the RHI report relatively unscathed arrogantly resumed her throne and began her tenure back in office by threatening libel against all and sundry who dared to propagate her alleged sexual relationship with her chauffeur.

Fast and the Furious, Michelle O’Neill, now replacing McGuinness, took up her role at Stormont by enthusiastically endorsing the PSNI along with Gerry Kelly ...  the same organisation that had her cousin shot dead and continues to rush her speech to the point where people find it difficult to understand the point she is making.

Both are at loggerheads on the correct approach to dealing with the pandemic and regularly are seen in the media keeping the respective 2m physical distance … something that they seemed to be practising before the pandemic!

With Arlene, now apparently domiciled somehwere between Enniskillen and Belfast irrespective of the libel threat, voicing her support for Boris the Bastard while O’Neill calls for a joint approach with the Banana Republic headed by Varadkar … .well, we are living on an Island and Boris and the boys have been severely ridiculed internationally for their approach and management of the pandemic.

Arlene, being a true blue and defender of the Union, stuck to her guns (borrowed from Michelle no doubt) and stood by Westminster irrespective of what inept idiots are in charge ... ineptitude being a trait that she and Boris share. The health Minister Robin Swann continued to struggle with the height of the microphone. His leader, Sea Sick Steve Aiken, submerged after endorsing Nigel Dodds in the last Westminster elections and who subsequently lost his seat, hasn’t been seen since and neither has Nigel come to think of it!

Within continental EU, Italy, Spain, France and Germany (all the other members don’t really matter) saw dramatic falls in their respective death rates and announced an easing of lockdowns ...  against the advice of the much disparaged World Health Organisation, WHO, who warned against a second wave.

WHO, disparaged for telling the truth on the origins of the pandemic and dispelling any rumours to the contrary and much supported by Anthony Stephen Fauci the director of the American National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, felt the ire of Trump when he withdrew funding as he expected WHO and Fauci also, to believe his hallucinations generated by regular inoculations of bleach, when he implied that those little yellow skinned devils from East Asia were responsible or words to that effect.

Sticking with Trump and his calamitous and insane logic, across the much bigger pond and currently not as polluted, Presidential Nutjob, Donald Trump, having failed to convince people to take hydroxychloroquine, produced by the pharma company that he has a direct monetary interest in, defied all scientific medical logic and called on people to inject themselves with bleach and other household cleaning products. As a precaution against COVID-19 or even possibly a cure. A call he later described as sarcasm and shouldn’t be taken seriously… sarcasm not being Donald’s forte and an explanation that came rather slightly late for some supporters!

Trump under much pressure and losing very badly in the presidential race, bounced back somewhat when he supported those demonstrating against the lockdown ... even after thousands had died and thousands more are expected to die. Donald, ignoring the pandemic and the thousands of suckers who have died as a result, concentrated on responding to the dire situation ‘big oil’ finds itself in declared that soon America would be open for business and the economy would be back stronger than before … polluting the globe at an even bigger rate!

And so as Warren Buffett offloads his interests in aviation as grounded aeroplanes not only do not generate wealth but more pertinently, they don’t burn fuel, and as the price of crude oil crashes through the stock exchange floor let us take in to account the lobbying by ‘big oil’ to have the lockdowns eased so that people can return to work, in their vehicles hopefully, or fly off to a much needed holiday and to fire up those power station generators to get us back to normal and burn baby burn … fossil fuel that is, not napalm.

Like the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s, it’s time to suck it up people, man up, quit whinging, and get back out there and deal with this shit! It ain’t going away so just get on with it … some possible epithet suggestions for future headstones.

And now that the ‘Poppy Brigade’ have swapped their poppies for the happy clappy Creuset pots and wooden spoons brigade, let us show our solidarity as they, with bit between the teeth continue to drum out their support for the NHS and cast aspersions on those not distracted by such nonsense …while suffering from repetitive strain injury to their wrists ….bulldog spirit mate!

And finally, Captain Tom, who while viewing the Spitfire flyover for his 100th birthday had a relapse and flash back trauma to the Battle of Britain and inexplicably began venting vitriolic anti-German xenophobic utterances luckily drowned out by the noise of the Spitties overhead. But let us spare a thought for Captain Tom who is still walking around his garden as he can’t get his fuck’n motorised zimmer frame to fuck’n turn off … Well done Tom!

Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican and TPQ columnist.

Don’t Be So Crude!

Sean Mallory shares his caustic view of just about everyone ... 

Northward towards the epicentre of the global pandemic, ‘norn iron’, which no longer constitutes part of the concept of ‘Ireland’ according to FG and FF.

Stormont resurrected by FG and the Tories, two parties that have recently shafted the Stormont participants and also one of which refuses to recognise another’s election victory, was back up and running.

Foster having survived the RHI report relatively unscathed arrogantly resumed her throne and began her tenure back in office by threatening libel against all and sundry who dared to propagate her alleged sexual relationship with her chauffeur.

Fast and the Furious, Michelle O’Neill, now replacing McGuinness, took up her role at Stormont by enthusiastically endorsing the PSNI along with Gerry Kelly ...  the same organisation that had her cousin shot dead and continues to rush her speech to the point where people find it difficult to understand the point she is making.

Both are at loggerheads on the correct approach to dealing with the pandemic and regularly are seen in the media keeping the respective 2m physical distance … something that they seemed to be practising before the pandemic!

With Arlene, now apparently domiciled somehwere between Enniskillen and Belfast irrespective of the libel threat, voicing her support for Boris the Bastard while O’Neill calls for a joint approach with the Banana Republic headed by Varadkar … .well, we are living on an Island and Boris and the boys have been severely ridiculed internationally for their approach and management of the pandemic.

Arlene, being a true blue and defender of the Union, stuck to her guns (borrowed from Michelle no doubt) and stood by Westminster irrespective of what inept idiots are in charge ... ineptitude being a trait that she and Boris share. The health Minister Robin Swann continued to struggle with the height of the microphone. His leader, Sea Sick Steve Aiken, submerged after endorsing Nigel Dodds in the last Westminster elections and who subsequently lost his seat, hasn’t been seen since and neither has Nigel come to think of it!

Within continental EU, Italy, Spain, France and Germany (all the other members don’t really matter) saw dramatic falls in their respective death rates and announced an easing of lockdowns ...  against the advice of the much disparaged World Health Organisation, WHO, who warned against a second wave.

WHO, disparaged for telling the truth on the origins of the pandemic and dispelling any rumours to the contrary and much supported by Anthony Stephen Fauci the director of the American National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, felt the ire of Trump when he withdrew funding as he expected WHO and Fauci also, to believe his hallucinations generated by regular inoculations of bleach, when he implied that those little yellow skinned devils from East Asia were responsible or words to that effect.

Sticking with Trump and his calamitous and insane logic, across the much bigger pond and currently not as polluted, Presidential Nutjob, Donald Trump, having failed to convince people to take hydroxychloroquine, produced by the pharma company that he has a direct monetary interest in, defied all scientific medical logic and called on people to inject themselves with bleach and other household cleaning products. As a precaution against COVID-19 or even possibly a cure. A call he later described as sarcasm and shouldn’t be taken seriously… sarcasm not being Donald’s forte and an explanation that came rather slightly late for some supporters!

Trump under much pressure and losing very badly in the presidential race, bounced back somewhat when he supported those demonstrating against the lockdown ... even after thousands had died and thousands more are expected to die. Donald, ignoring the pandemic and the thousands of suckers who have died as a result, concentrated on responding to the dire situation ‘big oil’ finds itself in declared that soon America would be open for business and the economy would be back stronger than before … polluting the globe at an even bigger rate!

And so as Warren Buffett offloads his interests in aviation as grounded aeroplanes not only do not generate wealth but more pertinently, they don’t burn fuel, and as the price of crude oil crashes through the stock exchange floor let us take in to account the lobbying by ‘big oil’ to have the lockdowns eased so that people can return to work, in their vehicles hopefully, or fly off to a much needed holiday and to fire up those power station generators to get us back to normal and burn baby burn … fossil fuel that is, not napalm.

Like the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s, it’s time to suck it up people, man up, quit whinging, and get back out there and deal with this shit! It ain’t going away so just get on with it … some possible epithet suggestions for future headstones.

And now that the ‘Poppy Brigade’ have swapped their poppies for the happy clappy Creuset pots and wooden spoons brigade, let us show our solidarity as they, with bit between the teeth continue to drum out their support for the NHS and cast aspersions on those not distracted by such nonsense …while suffering from repetitive strain injury to their wrists ….bulldog spirit mate!

And finally, Captain Tom, who while viewing the Spitfire flyover for his 100th birthday had a relapse and flash back trauma to the Battle of Britain and inexplicably began venting vitriolic anti-German xenophobic utterances luckily drowned out by the noise of the Spitties overhead. But let us spare a thought for Captain Tom who is still walking around his garden as he can’t get his fuck’n motorised zimmer frame to fuck’n turn off … Well done Tom!

Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican and TPQ columnist.

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