Arlene Foster is touring the countryside in her Chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Arlene in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur....... "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving; go and tell the farmer," says Arlene Five hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks Arlene . The chauffeur replies: "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me." "What on earth did you say?" asks Arlene "I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them.... "I'm Arlene Foster’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
Former IRA volunteer and ex-prisoner, spent 18 years in Long Kesh, 4 years on the blanket and no-wash/no work protests which led to the hunger strikes of the 80s. Completed PhD at Queens upon release from prison. Left the Republican Movement at the endorsement of the Good Friday Agreement, and went on to become a journalist. Co-founder of The Blanket, an online magazine that critically analyzed the Irish peace process. Lead researcher for the Belfast Project, an oral history of the Troubles.
Arlene Foster is touring the countryside in her Chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Arlene in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur....... "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving; go and tell the farmer," says Arlene Five hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks Arlene . The chauffeur replies: "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me." "What on earth did you say?" asks Arlene "I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them.... "I'm Arlene Foster’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
ReplyDeleteDelivered in your usually excellently punchy sexist say, Frankie.
ReplyDeleteI meant "style".
ReplyDelete