Well, it's been a few weeks since ‘our Lyra’ was cruelly taken from us and whose untimely demise has robbed and deprived the world of investigative journalism of another potential Mr Fisk or Mr Cockburn.
Lyra's ex-partner Sarah Canning, described the dissidents who accidently shot Lyra in a feat of reckless and irresponsibility bordering on complete stupidity, a trait that now seems to be genetic in Derry, as paedophiles by the way they groom kids ... a first of its kind in Norn Iron and a statement that tends to give the reader the impression that Sarah didn’t actually pen that herself but was repeating Establishment words.
Sarah, in her mourning and emotional pain, being in the spotlight and the current ‘darling’ of the media obviously feels she can make statements such as those of the paedophile nature without reprisal or response.....apparently paedophiles are up in arms at a dyke likening them to such.....#notinmynamedyke
Foster and her Neanderthals, once applauded in the Creggan by brain dead and blinkered muppets, have now retreated back to the boardrooms of Schomberg house to breath air free from the stench of cock munchers and pussy lickers, only to re-emerge with Orange collarettes to defend the union in the local and European Union elections.
Locally, the election of a DUP lesbian - Alison Bennington – has sparked brim fire and fury within the DUP ranks the likes of which hasn’t been seen since, since, since, well, I suppose not since Abraham after a bad acid trip, returned to his tribe with the news that he had been in communicado with a bloke called God.
God, God - Abe repeated to the tribe and gesticulated by pointing to the sky.
Looking skyward in bewilderment the tribe responded among each other:
‘I don’t see anything, do you?
‘Who the fuck's this God bloke?’ was another common whisper.
Abe went on to deliver God's message that everyone was to slice their foreskins off to distinguish them as his people. At this point the tribe began to suspect that something was amiss with Abe......the rest they say is history!
The religious zealots and power makers of the DUP have publicly denounced their own party colleagues success and banned her from public speaking....which tends to be a slight handicap while holding public office. Others within the party have ever so slightly hinted that an opening rift within the party may be too far ruptured to mend. Leading one Free Presbyterian to liken it to... 'just as the curtain was rent in the temple’.
Foster on the other hand in having her party nominate Alison is hoping that this gesture of recognising the LGBT community will endear her to the other parties in their on-going Stormont talks and return her not only before the RHI report is published, not that she is that worried as she has no intention of resigning anyway, but that it will return her to work on the centenary celebrations of the British State of Northern Ireland coming up in 1922.
The UUP, that other once bastion of Ulster and Unionism continues to fade with a very poor result in both elections....not really much more to be said about it.
Alliance on the other hand is elated at its sudden success and likens itself to the rise of the Lib Dems across the water.
Who we remember as the party that blatantly betrayed it's supporters in its coalition with the Tories and was rewarded so in the British General election by being almost wiped out.....DUP Gavin Robinson must be watching over his shoulder!
The EU, an institution that Foster's boys abhor, but which they continually insist that the EU, 27 nation states with a combined approximate population of 500m people, should yield to the demands of a non-nation British province state with a minority of less than 1 million in favour of Brexit. Should the EU not comply then Foster and her DUP will be forced to continue to take their wages, expenses and pension until they repeat the same demand in a months time....the merry-go-around of Brexit.
Speaking of paedophiles, Louis Mountbatten's allegedly favourite trick, ‘granda again’ Prince Charles and his good lady Camilla were in town for a few days. Hopping back and forth across their imposed British border they have now visited Ireland for 5 years in row which to some people is causing them to think in spheres normally reserved for conspiracy theorists.
The Prince and his courtesan expressed their heartfelt hope for the restoration of the iconic Bank buildings after it was engulfed in an inferno and completely gutted. A hope shared by one local idiot (not from Derry this time) who likened its conflagration and decimation to that of Notre Dame's and expressed empathy with the people of Paris....WTF!
Primark – a retail outlet selling ‘affordable’ clothing based in Bank Buildings. A building just over 200 years old with a banal history.
Notre Dame – a medieval cathedral with over 600 years of European history, begun in 1163 and finished in 1345, a Paris landmark that is the most visited site by tourists in the world, approximately 13,000,000m a year, 30,000 a day.
You do the maths!
The relatives of Michael Leonard, aged 24, shot dead by RUC in 1973, were left somewhat dismayed and angry after the RUC, sorry the PSNI - so hard to tell the difference these days - first acknowledged that Michael was murdered by members of the RUC but only 24 hours later retracted their statement of ‘murdered’ with the explanation that the case had not yet been reviewed or reinvestigated by their Legacy Investigation branch so it couldn’t be described as murder.....cover up on the way.
George Best and TUV's Jim Alister both shared a commonality in ‘erections’. George having the erection of a bronze statue to honour him outside Elizabeth's family stadium. A statue that looks more like Pat Jennings than George!
George's sister has been reported as being distressed over such criticism and in response has criticised those who criticised George's statue or tried to belittle it with remarks and comments Best left in the gutter...a place where George frequented!
Jim on the other hand has seemingly been getting his phonetics mixed up or has been misheard and miss-understood due to his broad Ballymena accent. Much as Jonathan Ross (Woss) does.
He apparently has been over heard as brazenly referring to failures and successes in erections and not elections.... an issue that can afflict a lot of men but not something that cannot relieved by a ballet paper Jim...more likely to be resolved with Viagra.
Rory McIlroy has come out and declared he would gladly put the green jacket on for Ireland at the next Olympics. He has equated this with Ulster rugby players putting on the green jersey to play for Ireland.
Across the water...
The British Prime Minister, Theresa May, resigned her post with what we initially assumed was her valedictory speech. Ending her speech in tears that sparked her husband's cry of ‘oh crikey’ she quickly about turned and headed back into 10 Downing Street to retain her residence until June 7th. Judging by her past experience of keeping her word it could be a case of calling the bailiffs after June 7th.
Seamus Mallon launched his autobiography entitled ‘Wasn’t I A Smashing Weasel’. In his demented state, Mallon declared that the bedrock of democracy outlined in his Sunningdale for Slow Learners Agreement, 50 + 1 is the majority, is no longer apt for a border poll.
Mallon, like the SDLP in general, having recently abandoned their calls for a border poll and are simply echoing the mantra of their new political masters of Fianna Fáil and Mallon in particular, his past pay masters the British government.