Darling Buds Of May
Adopting a Thatcherite stance by previously clearly stating several times that ‘the lady’s not for turning’ with regards to an early British general election, British Prime Minister Theresa May stuck steadfast to her principles and announced a British general election.
While refusing to appear on any live television leader debates, leading to her possibly being represented by the more thought provoking ‘empty chair’, May's inner circle of high-profile advisors and aids began to dwindle in numbers as her disgruntled director of communications, Katie Perrior, followed her press secretary Lizzie Loudon, out the front door of Number 10.
May and the Tories in Great Expectations, believe that they will secure a huge majority and put Labour to the sword once and for all. Thus allowing her and her Home Secretary Amber Rudd, free to replace/repeal as many civil liberties as possible while simultaneously imposing much more draconian and Dickens era like authoritarian laws. In the process also lancing that current putrid carbuncle of her reliance on DUP support in the House of Commons. A view touched upon by Fionnuala O Connor in the Irish News – 21/04/2017.
Fresh from his backing of a referendum on Irish unification, Jeremy Corbyn, already written off as a loser and as the person to lead the Labour Party through highly predicted and historically expected, their worst election defeat ever, is optimistic that he can run May a close race. The same media had him written off twice before during Labour Party leader challenges, only for him to be returned with huge majorities.
Back across the water, several seats are up for grabs and as is usual, when the Union is under a Unionist perceived threat, Foster and her motley crew of siege mentality bigots, ditching all social issues as irrelevant, and focusing on May's announcement, immediately set about reissuing their only election manifesto ever of keeping the Union while demanding that the UUP and they work together to strengthen such a bond.
The SDLP's Margaret Ritchie reiterated the Party's mantra of no sectarian pacts. Even though her seat, like Alasdair McDonnell's, is up for grabs and it is highly debatable if she or Alasdair will hold on to it without some form of a pact of sorts. Eastwood, the SDLP party leader, has hinted that election pacts could be formed along anti-Brexit lines and thus saving perhaps at least one of them.
Sinn Féin are in favour of such a pact and are hotly tipped to excel in this election with 4 extra seats for them to contest as definite possibilities. Two of which are currently held by Unionists. Gerry Kelly is tipped to topple Diane ‘empty head’ Dodds’ husband Nigel in North Belfast and Michelle Gildernew is hoping to topple Tom ‘interesting’ Elliot in Fermanagh/South Tyrone.
And so as Khalid Masood's old blind driving school instructor takes on another new pupil, we can rest easy in our beds knowing that while May dithers away at counting her election eggs before they hatch, she and the remnants of her inner circle can rest easy knowing that tax-payers money is continuing to be spent frugally and certainly not foolishly on the Royal Navy’s new 60,000 tonne aircraft carriers currently under construction.
Costing £7 billion, HMS Queen Elizabeth and HMS Prince Charles, which are due to enter service around 2020, and unfortunately unlike the real royals, have been rendered obsolete by the new Russian Zircon hypersonic missile (travels up to 4,600 mph).
Naval sources have apparently described hypersonic missiles as virtually unstoppable thus making the basis for a carrier task force redundant.
The British MoD responded with: "We do not comment on force protection measures but keep threats constantly under review.”
Which in layman's terms translates as ‘piss off’.