Beauty And The Brexit

Larry Hughes muses on what Brexit might mean.

We are now set for two full years of mental numbing and dumbing down about Brexit.

The media has been given a new subject to sustain what passes for journalism for twenty four juicy months. Who says there's no such thing as a free lunch? The only bright side detectable is a reduction, perhaps temporarily, of the onslaught of rubbish and fake news about President Trump. The triggering of Article 50 after nine months of incubation was finally delivered. Whether it will grow to be a thing of beauty or a deformity remains to be seen.

The little Englanders are elated regardless, and Sky News reported from sleepy run down and severely depressing looking seaside towns on the English coast that it is now gleefully anticipated in these dumps that Brits will return to the good old days and holiday at home in the rain. It will be donkey rides on the beach and kiss-me-quick hats and candy floss instead of 18-30 flights to alcohol fuelled two week binges of sex, sun, sea and A+E on the Costas. The Costas, where spirits and San Miguel beers are cheaper than lemonade and for the older generation a gallon of vino can be had for less than the cost of a single glass of wine in England.

Yes I can see how that is all going to work out just dandy. But it matters not, it will be a small price to pay for a return to Empire and former glory. The former colonies obviously won't have any say in the matter of course. Like Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland they will all do what Farrage, May, Boris and Gove (remember him?) tell them. Singapore and Hong Kong had best wake up fast, Britannia is back. Perhaps the slave trade will be reinvented and repackaged in PC friendly terminology and the triangular sea faring trade between West Africa, the Bahamas and Britain will launch a new industrial revolution. Single occupancy cabins for those availing of new opportunities abroad. Reopen Harland and Wolff.

Oh yes and meanwhile back home in Blighty it will be time to stuff kiddies up chimneys and sling them into factories for ten hours a day without schooling. The Tory dream and the little Englander nostalgia live on. Thankfully we here in the 26 counties will still be in the EU or with a little dancing at the crossroads thrown in for authenticity, FF would copy and paste the English political recipe and apply it here in Ireland as per usual.

The Tory government in London has used the word security no less than ten times in the letter to formally trigger Brexit. It calculates that security is one of its greatest bargaining chips in the EU negotiations now set to begin. That is interesting given that the UK and USA are the ones engaged in endless global vandalism in the form of regime change and demolition of societies as a foreign policy. The latest round of which, a little too close to home for comfort, in North Africa and the Middle East, has resulted in refugees and economic opportunists alike flooding into the EU. Amongst whom are an as yet unknown number of Islamic warriors with or without driving licenses, or any other documentation for that matter. So, we are to be offered protection from the very people that caused the problem in the first place. Don Corleone eat your heart out. Perhaps the French will move the UK border back to Dover.

The Tory government is also offering increased powers to the regional governments in Scotland Wales and N. Ireland. An interesting suggestion for retaining the Union. Yet it is difficult to believe or trust the Tories on anything. The party has a passion for ignoring political and economic reality whilst pursuing its great twin loves of blind self interest and hammering the vulnerable. All the while out sourcing the UK nuclear energy rebuilding program and its rail network to the Chinese. The steel industry is already in the hands of India. Yet in the face of all this economic treachery by government there remains hope at grass-roots level that Skegness, Torquay and the rest will become once again like Great Yarmouth, they will indeed be Great again, they will all be given the prefix by QE2 no doubt. That should have the punters flocking in. England just needs out of the EU so it can give the colonies a jolly good old fashioned bashing again.

The Tories have every reason to feel confident regardless. For all the hype and bluster, Scotland will not vote for independence. The electorate love the SNP, they just don't share the SNP obsession with independence. Prime Minister May has basically rebuffed the Scottish Parliament's call for a second referendum on the matter before it was even formally made. Take That and 'as you were Jock'! You lot will do as we say, not as we do is the message there. Although it must be said it was not done in the ignorant style of the sole Tory member of the Scottish Parliament who rudely and contemptibly told Sturgeon to 'sit down' during the debate. That performance could have repercussions for said Tory come the next election. Aggressive, nasty and rude. Arlene Foster has sent her a friend request on Facebook.

As for all the talk about break up of the Union, keep your powder dry. Or better still decommission it altogether. It is not going to happen. This Brexit is as much an opportunity as it is a disaster. Already the EU and London are committed to preventing a return to a hard border in Ireland. Some sort of special arrangement is on the cards like that of the GFA perhaps, which will be all things to all men. Ireland and the UK will be closer than ever with a new special economic relationship after these next two years of adjustments. We may end up with the biggest fudge in history, where we have a de-facto United Ireland for DUP voting Ulster Farmers Union members, guaranteeing their subsidies within the EU. Also a northern Ireland safely and securely at the same time tied to the UK and freedom of movement guaranteed for holiday and property purchasing purposes only for UK citizens (N. Ireland twin passport holders exempt of course).

It is difficult to know exactly what type of dogs dinner we will end up with, but an independent Scotland and a United Ireland is not where my money is placed. If it were up to MPs to sort this debacle out I would be worried. Thankfully the civil servants and behind the scenes people will be doing that. MPs will simply continue robbing the exchequer. Thank God for that then!

As for me, Donegal life with regular visits to Alicante and the occasional thrilla in Manila Philippines will just have to suffice. I am getting a bigger TV shortly, not for the next two years of bull shit news coverage, but for Dave and Ava nursery rhymes for our son Pablo. It's gunna be Tropical!


  1. Hard to disagree with any of this Larry, a good read. Though I must say I was a little disappointed that AM didn't rope you in for an attempted wind up article on April Fools Day. Slugger nearly got me with his Tayto Cheese and Onion article!!!

  2. The DUP voted for brexit,they wish to remain in the UK, Quisling $inn £eind voted to remain, they want to leave the UK,popular opinion suggests that brexit will lead to the breakup of the UK, Welcome to norn iorn aka topsy turvy land home of the bullshit artists, gangsters for government, and perverts for moral guardians...

  3. Gibraltar .
    a lot f fuss over that.
    Ian Duncan Smith a former Tory minster was asked about why wasn't Gibraltar mentioned in Theresa's letter.
    He said well other terrorities such as the Channel islands were not mentioned either.
    All fine.
    Except the Channel islands are not in the EU.D'Oh!
    Therefore sparking more questions than answers.
    Do the Brits actually have a Clue????
    Does a freaking cabinet member and leading Brexitter not know basic geographic detail.
    Makes the Brits and their unionist offspring who follow these muppets even dumber than I thought.
    And I was starting from a very low opinion.
    Michael Howard was threatening a Falklands type invasion.
    Although since the Harriers are scrapped, the F 35 is a Money pit which requires a 1 million pound paint job after a 15 minute flight. and the Aircraft carriers will have to wait 10 years or so until they can launch the Brits will have to settle for a gunboat.
    And the Type 45 Destroyers have "no Electricity" and spend their time floating about in the dark and will require 1 Billion Pounds to fix.
    Spain can win this one.
    Ofc the military contractor who supplied that crap doesn't pay. The British taxpayer does.
    All makes poor Arlene seem like a bloody amateur at wasting taxpayers money.
    But they tell us Brexit will be a success. Of course it will.

  4. A very well written piece Larry.

  5. Peter

    Sure 'I AM' the April fool lol

    Cheers Mackers

  6. Larry,

    I have cut through your article and in a space saving endeavour have got your gist down to one point....

    " Yet it is difficult to believe or trust the Tories on anything."

    Nuff said!

  7. Really enjoyed that'll have to enlighten us on one of your trips to's a country I know very little about with the exception of Rodrigo Duterte and his radical diplomacy....Jesus, may be not!

  8. I don't think Brexit and its complications for Ireland will be so easily resolved. This is reflected in the massive increase of discussion on the subject of Irish Unity - which no matter its likelihood is certainly back on the agenda.

  9. Nial
    I am more than happy for Mackers to give you my email address and to enlighten you on my observations and reflections after several visits to the Philippines since 2003 and how it compares with other Asian countries if you are interested. I would recommend a visit there without hesitation.

    Please feel free to use any articles I post here, you are more than welcome as far as I personally am concerned.

    Sean Bres
    Unity is certainly on the agenda again and unlike my in-laws in Lurgan I personally would be voting for it come the opportunity. But what I have written there is how I see the powers that be 'solving' Brexit problems.

  10. Thanks Larry

    It's a great piece I re-read when I got up this morning and it cheered me up no end just wonderful.


  11. Mick

    Thanks very much, high praise indeed!