Elvis Has Left The Building.......Or Has He?

Tyrone republican Sean Mallory with his latest wry take on developments and items that have been making the news lately.

Political party leadership replacement races, political party leadership challenges, attempted and failed coups, demands for leaders to resign, demands for leaders to retire and boos for leaders who failed to protect. 

What a way to politically light up an otherwise usually humdrum political summer time.

In what must have been the least contested leadership battle in Tory history but yet the most treacherous, Theresa May was elected the new Tory leader and Prime Minister of Britain after eloquent extirpation of her rivals. 

Ms May in her victory speech promised to be more liberal minded and thoughtful towards those on benefits. Which is rich coming from a person whose main concern with the EU is her desire to rewrite the European Human Rights Act for Britain so that it reflects the Tory philosophy of laissez-faire.

May joins the illustrious club of ‘Ladyboys’ by doubling its current membership to two. She and Arlene. A club that once boasted the unenviable sole membership of the now thankfully deceased - and let’s hope her demise was extremely slow and painful, and probably the most despised party leader of any party, despised by her own party members, all in opposition and the general British public at large - one Margaret Thatcher......RIP replaced with RIH (rot in hell) but whose statue stairs menacingly down upon all those now entering Westminster.

Unlike Obama who still retains the ability and power to exercise his ‘things to do list’ before he ends his term as president, PR Dave was unexpectedly forced to cut short his list of ‘things to do before October party conference’ down to pack case and leave.

On leaving Downing Street, Cameron paid tribute to his successor. Well there is a future potential peerage at stake after all. And once again reminded the British public and the rest of the world but excluding most of Europe now, that he loved his country and loved serving Her. He then buggered off but not before separating Samantha from Sarah Vine! When friends fallout, decorum and deportment can deteriorate very quickly!

A few days later one pundit reminded me of Cameron’s legacy of his tenure in office with the question: ‘Have you read about Samantha Cameron’s foulmouthed attack on Gove’s wife, Sarah Vine?’

Just about sums his tenure up really!

May, unlike Dave, has a dislike for swine, and unequivocally dispatched those treacherous members of the reigning cabinet to the back benches – by phone call or text depending on the degree of detestability of the recipient.

One of those sacked and returned to Chipping Barnet post haste, being our own incompetent secretary of state, Ms Villiers. Someone whose deportation to the backbenches only warranted remarks from Ruth Dudley Edwards – Belfast Telegraph 19/07/2016 - towards some local politicians and their uncouth and discourteous goodbyes. The rest is history as they say.

Gove, having listened to the profound political wisdom and experience of his journalistic wife, the Divine Ms Vine, performed a Shakespearean act of betrayal, et tu Brute on Boris Johnston, and also without the prescience to do so, failed to kiss him on the cheek but made up for it later by denying him at least 3 times.

Much to Gove’s disappointment and especially Ms Vine’s epiphany moment at learning what she had married, among the Tories, he turned out to be as popular as a turd in a swimming pool and was quickly eliminated from the leadership race.

Interestingly, Boris while all this distraction was going on, was being pursued by the media as to why he would rule himself out knowing that it would cast him in to the political wilderness. As much as they pursued, Boris - adept at political survival - was able to evade their questions with his familiar Etonian distracting clumsy and unkempt joviality and played it all down.

Boris, a true Shakespearean manipulator and contriver and ever the eternal politico, bounced back against the Gove’s and like Lazarus rising from the dead emerged from the political wilderness to take up the post in May’s new cabinet as British Foreign Secretary.

Extracting the Govian stiletto from his back, Boris on meeting a dejected Gove hanging up his phone call from the new prime minister, asked him as he passed by to be a good chap and close the door behind him! He who laughs first laughs last Mr Gove.

An appointment though that was met with howls of rage and scorn at such an insult, both at home and from the heads of the EU, considering Boris lead the Brexit campaign. Howls May, like Thatcher in her day, simply shrugged off as whatever.

Across the chamber floor, Corbyn felt the wrath of the Blairites who, having witnessed Gove’s treachery, grouped together to try and force Corbyn to resign which failed and are now forcing a leadership challenge that only really began to expose itself after Chilcot. Chilcot, having berated Blair, his cabinet and supporters on Iraq, exonerated him from crimes against humanity by repeatedly clarifying the reports remit.

Thus enthused by their inglorious past leader’s absolution, Corbyn’s main rival Owen Smith launched his challenge by standing on a platform of being a ‘unity candidate’. Which is odd to say the least as his backers are what caused disunity within the party in the first place. Angela Eagle removed herself from the race but threw herself in behind Smith. Apparently her backers didn’t want their identities being made public. Which implies there is more than one Shakespearean play on this stage!

At home, initially Kenny, having had his face well and truly publicly slapped by Foster over his proposal for an All-Ireland forum on the way forward for both Norn Iron and the Republic after Brexit, returned the slap in kind by publicly declaring that the unification of Ireland is now a serious consideration. A political straw grasped at by him to avoid the fate of Cameron and the equally brutal leader slayers within Fine Gael. A foolish attempt to retake the high ground from Michael Martin and FF who along with SF and the SDLP had already publicly espoused the idea.

Newton Emmerson, Irish News 21/07/02016, normally a person whose column exudes wit, showed a more sober side to his persona by unusually adopting the guise of DUP politics and evoking and advocating their stance towards a border poll but also referred to Kenny’s underhand use of the united Ireland syndrome to try and win back support for himself and Fine Gael.

The very thought of which being vehemently shot down by Arelene’s DUP, namely Paisley Junior who on RTE described Kenny’s words as ‘pathetic and deliberately mischievous’, and McCausland – Belfast Telegraph 21/07/2016 – who having acknowledged his Fuhrer’s prior public humiliation of Kenny went on to lambast Kenny for seeking some form of retribution for such an insult....both DUP pundits exhibiting their rather bizarre and bullish take on diplomacy.

Adams, while re-iterating SF’s call for unification was unexpectedly distracted by another call for his retirement or resignation, depending on one’s Interpretation of such a call. Made by Co Tyrone born Thomas Anthony McNulty, who heads the party's Virginia Mullagh branch in Co Cavan. He, and a growing seed bed of discontent, believes it is time the Sinn Féin president made way for a new leader. Adams is perceived as a political lock rather than the key to the door, to further advancement in the South.

Something which Brian Feeney, in an interview with John Manley Irish news 16/07/2016, would tend to agree with. Although Feeney does go on to hint at the fate awaiting McNulty for the precedent of, while still within the party, publicly speaking out against Adams’ leadership, and also Adams’ response. He said:

A public call such as McNulty's is completely unprecedented but I believe the matter will end there. I suspect he'll be removed from the cumann and that Gerry Adams will dig his heels in further.

Elsewhere in Europe but not in the EU, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, the 12th President of Turkey since 2014 felt the effects of a far less subtle call and more of a physical assault for his resignation or retirement. Retirement being a little tenuous for ‘eternal slumber’!

In response, unlike Adams and his party purges of dissenting individuals, Erdoğan, in a state of revenge, purged the country of his party and ordered a state of emergency. A total of 58,000 citizens in total, were arrested, suspended or sacked. How the coup remained secretive is anyone’s guess! A more pragmatic reading in to the Erdoğan’s purge would see him as using it as a reason to strengthen and mould his current constitutional position towards a more unconstitutional position.

And so, after the thrill of the Euro Football Finals, France, like American law enforcement police agencies, was brutally reminded that it’s continued and very public racist philosophy can lead to a brutal backlash. Nice and its Bastille celebrations were changed forever by Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, who initially reported as acting on his own, murdered 84+ people.

A lone deranged French Tunisian, suffering from years of French societal abuse, has now morphed in to a member of a highly trained and maniacal ISIS killer cell/unit. His coming out has led the French authorities to the arrest of others suffering from similar French societal abuse, suspected of being implicated in the attack and associated to the same group of people suffering similar societal abuse who killed 250+ Muslims in a Baghdad shopping district a few weeks before. All kindly sponsored by Saudi Arabia.

An act that once again caused local councils to rush out to their nearest Easons and purchase a ledger of sorts to record their disgust and revulsion at Nice.

Unfortunately for the people of Baghdad, Easons was closed the day of their outrage but they fully know that our hearts are there with them.....well our arms industry certainly is and an arm is as good as a heart in these conditions!

And so, as Boris complains about not being able to locate Rhodesia on his office world globe, and as as Erdoğan foolishly reclines in in his presidential office, an office that is still as rickety as his presidential chaise longue, to contemplate how he can entice his mutinous admirals and their ships back in to Turkish waters surely he must be wandering when the next coup is coming. You cannot lock up that many generals without upsetting the armed forces over all.

And so as the French public angrily badgered Prime Minister Manuel Valls in Nice as he stood for a minute’s silence, and in turn aimed their ire at President Francois Hollande for failing to do more to protect them we can only guess at where the solidarity of Charlie Hebdo went.

And lastly and much to the grave disappointment of countless millions around the world, Bono survived Nice. Caught up in the attack and disturbed while downing oysters in his favourite haute cuisine restaurant, Bono demanding assurances of his safety before the public, was assured of such by the gendarme (whose attention would have better served at the attack scene attending to the actual public hurt in the attack) and the owner. Bundled out of the restaurant to an awaiting vehicle that sped him to safety he apparently was heard to shout: “Don’t shoot, don’t shoot, Je suis un Rock Star!”

PS – that’s two attacks that U2 have been close at hand to in France......could there be a pattern developing here!

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