Where's Our Piece Gerry?

Guest writer Marty Flynn, a regular contributor to discussion on TPQ, pens a satirical piece which takes a duck's eye view of the world by peering up the Great Leader's fundament as he lies in the bath to get a better sense of his ideas.

Dear Gerry, Martin too if you want to listen in,

My wife turns 60 this year."so what!" says you, as you no doubt lie in your perfumed bath, adorned with gold taps, playing with your ducks, alone these days amongst living things that believe you. Well, her family wanted to bring her to Las Vegas (no the showgirls don't interest me) on a trip of a lifetime. She loves all that razzmatazz!

Anyway as one of your ex-indians who has served time on war related charges in Armagh Gaol she has been refused a visa. Now as the main man on the AC PIRA (denied) why do you not have any problems jetting back and forth to America?

You, Mr Adams have used the private medical facilities in the states to have your arse fixed. I  think even you must agree that its a fucking joke that those who gave the orders for so much misery and bloodshed walk away with a comfortable lifestyle, i.e. many houses, no travel restrictions and those who did the heavy lifting on your orders get shafted in every respect.

Quisling $inn £ein tell us that their president for life, "Skint" Adams, is being targeted and treated unfairly by the media. The bearded one has been travelling to the United States business class while all the other pigs have to travel economy: ha fuckin ha! That's equality for ya.

If my wife walked all the way she still wouldn't get in, because she to like so many believed the shit that came from his mouth, his arse being occupied.

And now that loyalty to AC Adams has cost so many republicans dearly unlike the party boss and his cronies.

Heard on the radio that someone had been turned down for a teacher's post in Derry because the had an IRA membership conviction against her. Another example of how crass this so called GFA really is. My advice is don't worry a chara - UNITED IRELAND is just around the corner.

In the meantime don't worry about working as a teacher for an average industrial wage. Get yourself elected and become the Education Minister with all the perks!!

Hearing that Quisling $inn £ein are advising anyone applying for these posts to tick the criminal box. There ya go boys an' girls - thats your piece.

Stick it up your dividend!  


  1. Sadly the satirical is grounded so firmly in reality, many republicans face censure and restriction because of their past irrespective of their current political stance. It also doesn't surprise me to hear that shinners are telling people to declare a criminal conviction, they're criminalising republicans now and allowing those who sacrificed so much to continue to be criminalised by the state.

    How many republicans who went through the blocks, armagh, spells in gough or castlreagh etc still bear the mental and physical scars, how many of them will have a trip to a private clinic in the states for treatment?

    Obviously no one believes more firmly than Comrade Gerry that all animals are equal, just some more equal than others. But I suppose in hindsight Gerry was talking out of his rear for so long it had to wear out eventually.


  2. Good Piece Marty Flynn.

    In a sense, Adams and Co are now retracting, to state ,"The actions of PIRA was not Political" , Oh, I forgot, Adams claims he was never in the RA, McGuinness states he left it in 1974, That makes them ok to fly wherever they want, Seems Gerry forgot that his 2ic was jailed in the 26 counties for membership, so, how is he allowed to fly wherever he wants, that means he has a non political crime against him!. Gerry wasn't in the cages because he was a good boy!, he wasn't flown out of those cages by a British Forces Helicopter to secret talks with those same British who Interned him and everyone else in the first place. What gauls me is, He is still getting away with all those lies, whilst the British Government and MI5 know he was in the RA, so in effect they are protecting him, That's my opinion.

  3. It would be interesting to know how many republicans have been refused entry to the USA since the signing of the GFA?

  4. Very witty.

    Your poor wife not being able to go on holiday. Still, she's lucky she found out now they won't let her in as she could've got to the other end and been held for questioning before being thrown back on to the next plane home - without ever leaving the airport in Vegas as has happened to many ex prisoners.

    I wonder, since Gerry and Martin seem untouched by travel issues, if they can get house insurance for their many homes? Anyone know?

  5. Yes, I think we all wish Marie well and hope that after all she has come through she gets her fair share of glitz and razzmatazz.

    Like other ex-prisoners I am very aware of the problems we all face.
    Only yesterday I received a questionnaire from my insurance company asking for more personal details. the envelope stated, urgent information needed and you immediately think what now? I have been refused insurance countless times and only got insured with these people through the help of a friend.
    It's the same feeling you get every time something has to be applied for or filled in, even something as simple as life insurance.
    Years ago I went to Queens to do teaching, sadly I had to leave due to my mother's failing health.
    At the time I was told, that ten years previous I would not have been considered due to my convictions which were due to your political involvement.
    I remember finding it particularly difficult to sit there and listen to that.
    I never viewed myself as someone who brought blood and misery to anyone and certainly not as a person so naive that I functioned at someone else's behest.
    I was young Republican and I believed in those ideals, I still do.
    Now I consider myself to be one of the many who did not see the wood for the proverbial trees. But I have to wonder, even if we had of seen the wood without the trees back then would we have behaved any different? who knows?

    VIVA MARIE !!!!

  6. Organized Rage:

    'It would be interesting to know how many republicans have been refused entry to the USA since the signing of the GFA?'

    Coiste will no doubt have these stats. Apparently they work to address issues of discrimination ex-prisoners face.

    Depends who the ex-prisoners are mind you, but nonetheless..

  7. While most republicans will have reservations about past actions,few will I,m sure have no regrets that they stood up for what they truly believed in,so many gave so much in so many ways that it was a popular uprising the logistical support across the country was amazing it may not have been in big numbers but it was there in sufficient numbers and quality to sustain a long war it will never be recorded the part played by so many republicans active and otherwise and when Cahill fisted the air and cried yahoo we won the war there were heads in peoples hands asking what the fuck have they done?Nuala,s post and Marie,s no visa is an example of how deep the betrayal has gone,its not that some have "done ok"out of the gfa its that everyone else has been shafted,republicans are used to defeat,but utter sell out of ideals and comrades was not something most republicans could ever contemplate,yes it was expected from individuals but when the clomplete leadership shafts the membership with drip fed lies and deceit then what happened when they signed the gfa was as big a betrayal as anything that has ever gone before,whether Marie goes to Vegas matters not her kids will remember that those who knock their doors looking votes at election times will be told to go somewhere a lot warmer than Vegas

  8. Belfast bookworm Coiste are more interested in their funding than ex prisoners, well not any that doesnt sing from the bearded ones hymn sheet.

  9. Marty-

    " Heard on the Radio that someone had been turned down for a Teachers
    post in Derry because they had an IRA membership conviction against her "

    As a matter of fact that story was on the Radio because the said Teacher got
    promoted within her school and unionists and some of the media opposed that move-but why let the truth get in the way of a good yarn- some hear but do not listen-

  10. Michael Henry;

    'Some hear but do not listen'

    Thats rich, coming from someone who speaks but does not make sense 99.9% of the time.

    This last post of yours is a thinly veiled attempt at detracting from the core of this subject, ie that ex prisoners are consistently penalised for their past.

    The spin you're trying here is your usual, 'ach sure we're actually in control' thing - pretending that all is well and that SF are winning small political battles.

    Yes, this teacher has worked her way up and earned promotion but she's most certainly in the minority.

    We're on to you Mickey.

  11. No problems with this lot getting into USA.

    Leaders head to US for trade talks.


    Mc Guinness and Robinson off to USA At tax payers expense of course, yet normal people can't get a visa. vote for who?

  12. Coiste May have sprung up fr good intentions but it quickly became another money spinner or as Alasatair mc Donnel rightly called it slush fund.
    Built on the foundations of rehabilitation it gives credence to the idea that us Ex-POWs should be re-settled into society, like tar is teach it is underpinned by the idea that we are all deviants in need of reform.
    The GFA has also enshrined this theory, therefore they are claiming to tackle a discrimination that they are party to and funded for.

  13. Mickeybroy I may indeed have got my wires crossed but unlike the other Martybroy I can accept my mistake,and unlike the other Martybroy and Duckie Gerry I am not a compulsive liar,

  14. Marty,

    it is not much of a mistake because your point is spot on. They want her out on the same grounds that they wanted Mary McArdle out. The judge said she would never work as a teacher again and they are trying to implement that.

    Ex prisoners need to make the case that they were in because of a political conflict and that they are not prepared to accept that there are not any no-go areas in terms of employment other than the areas they choose themselves. That does not rule out ex prisoners displaying sensitivity when needed. The last thing we want to do is walk over the graves of people who republicans killed. But there should be no sackcloth and ashes. As I said elesewhere there was no law and order community in the North, just one community that backed state law breakers against non state law breakers. It seems wrong to me that the TUV or DUP can decide that we will not work in certain areas.

  15. Belfast Bookworm,

    I'd say she worked her up off the radar otherwise they would have been screaming about it. If she is a good teacher, and she seems to be, she is entitled to her job. I think she should be backed.

  16. Anthony; I think this woman is possibly the teacher who worked in the meanscoil.. If so, she has a great rep and has definitely earned her stripes and more than deserves the promotion.

    But yeah, she's definitely stayed under the radar - either that or she's been talking as gaeilge and they can't understand her.

  17. Can anyone recall the Wendy Austin radio programme over a year ago when Maurice Morrow of the dup was on talking about Marian Price his hatred and lies was something to behold on that occasion both the presenter and prof Phil Scraton showed the man up for the bigot that he is.Morrow by the way was the chair of Stormonts justice committee,yet somehow Quisling $inn £ein would much rather cozy up to this bunch of bigots than attempt to seek justice for the people they claim to represent the hatred showed by Morrow and his cronies towards republicans like Marian and Gerry Mc Geough has not nor will ever likely abate,sackcloth and ashes would never be enough for these two faced bigots.

  18. Job interview;
    What would you say is your greatest weakness?.
    I dont think honesty is a weakness.
    I dont give a fuck what you think.

  19. Marty:
    On TPQ.

    No Sufficiency of Inquiry .
    Dec 7, 2012 .

    Sunday Sequence host William Crawley (WC) interviews. he demolished that bigot Morrow on the Wendy Austin.

  20. My apologies Marty a cara.

    That's not the correct link.

    No Sufficiency of Inquiry - The Pensive Quill
    thepensivequill.am/2012/12/no-sufficiency-of-inquiry.htmlDec 7, 2012 – Sunday Sequence host William Crawley (WC) interviews Queen's .... its malpractices,he demolished that bigot Morrow on the Wendy Austin ....

    Googled it and got the above, I just read the bottom two lines.

  21. Belfast Bookworm-

    " Pretending that all is well and that SF are winning small political battles "

    I dont have to pretend nothing-Sinn
    Fein enjoys small and big political
    wins and hates when some are lost [ it does happen ]
    Marty has took chunks out of me over the years yet you want to deprive me of a wee nibble-


    Morrow is a bigot and he comes from a party of miss-named bigots-
    the DUb-[Democratic Unionist bigots ]Morrow has hated all his life and he will hate to live in a All Ireland but his party knows they can be part of the 32- if enough people vote for them-

  22. Marty,

    'You, Mr Adams have used the private medical facilities in the states to have your arse fixed.'

    A killer line, that lights the imagination, in what was a very enjoyable piece.

    Not an appetising thought but one wonders what the medical team surveyed as they peered into the 'Eternal Orifice' of the 'Brilliant Comrade'? A conscience perhaps? I think not. An old party manifesto outlining the perpetuitous President's commitment to fight to the last drop of everyone else's blood, future life choices and happiness. Shoved up there,comm like, lest anyone should see. Possibly?

    I think it more likely that the surgeons reached a political rather than a medical concensus about Gerry's condition. Sand particles from Shelling Hill Beach wedged deep into the sphincter occasioning intermittent but persistent grating of the prostate.

    Prognosis;- Fair to medium. Substantial memory loss with no potential for 'arrest'.

    Treatment:- Denial. To be administered orally if and when required. Keep out of reach of children.

  23. MichaelHenry,

    Are you privy to the same gold standard of global health insurance that 'Gerryissimo' enjoys? Does the party provide a private health scheme to members?

  24. Fr. Mc Manus Visits Marian Price

    Marian Price was today visited by Fr. Sean Mc Manus, President of the Washington-based Irish National Caucus. He spent ninety minutes with her, accompanied by her husband Jerry Mc Glinchey and her attorney Peter Corrigan.

    Fr. Mc Manus said: I have been raising Marian’s case with the U.S. Department of State and the U.S. Congress, and I wanted to visit her to show both personal and Irish-American solidarity. My heart was broken and my soul outraged by how this heroic Irishwoman has been treated. This seriously ill, lovely, soft-spoken woman should not be in prison. Her persecution – yes, persecution – makes a mockery of the Irish peace-process, questions the whole judicial system, and raises doubt as to whether there has, indeed, been a “ new beginning” to policing in Northern Ireland. Surely Peter Robinson, Martin Mc Guinness, David Ford and the NI Secretary of State must know that there is something rotten with their government’s treatment of Marian.”

    Fr. Mc Manus added : “ I was so impressed that despite all the inhumane treatment and judicial misconduct, Marian has maintained her dignity and self-respect.”

    He concluded: “ When Peter Robinson and Martin Mc Guinness come to Washington for their annual St. Patrick’s Day visit, the hard truth will be this: No matter how nice or encouraging their words, their message will be overshadowed by their government’s treatment of Marian. Her cruel mistreatment will mock their words, telling Washington there is still something rotten in Northern Ireland.”

  25. Robert-

    Nope to your two Questions-its just local medic care for me-and there is nothing wrong with it by the way-

  26. Robert,

    a touch of brilliance.

    Michaelhenry, the issue never much gripped me one way or the other. I guess if you are in pain or misery it is any port in a storm althoug few have acces to that type of money required. But why do you think he went for it if the medical sysytem you avail of is okay?

  27. AM-

    Apart from the odd cold or mishap at work i never needed any medical help-its good enough for me but others might think different-maybe the day in which the matron ruled the roost in hospitals should be brought back-[the good old days when nothing went wrong-] I read
    that Gerry Adams took treatment in America for that case because it was not available in Ireland at the time he needed it done-

  28. Michaelhenry,

    that might be true in as far as he ever tells the truth but it would seem highly unlikely given his reputation for being a serial liar. Does anybody believe for example that he has ducks in the bath? It seems to be that it is just one more lie he made up. I would not be judgemental of people who take whatever measures to end their pain but he is just impossible to believe on anything. Even heard him on radio last week trying to implicate his poor mother in the crimes of his father. An an all round louse.

  29. Robert the q$£ president for life,sphincter must be the most talked about one in the world,when one thinks that a nations future may have been placed within alongside the torn green book and Jonathan Powells speeches on how to influence army councils and bury the past,it is the main reason that I believe the Harold Shipman standin when he said he was never a victim of sexual abuse it would have been impossible to get anything else up the glory hole,the mans claims that he plays with ducks is believable it reminds him so much of his cronies they to are plastic and only quack when squeezed,and while some of us whistle and sing in the bath Gerry Itwasntme reminisces on the songs/tunes he used to whistle in the pokey long before they were ever released.

  30. Michael Henry; 'mishap at work'

    So what sort of injuries can you get from surfing the internet all day then? Repetitive strain injury of the fingers?

  31. Well said Marty, although I have to say I agree that this piece was more based in reality than satire.

    "Gerry was talking out of his rear for so long it had to wear out eventually" @seamus- brilliant!!!

    More importantly though I did not think of the dynamic of the quislings criminalising past actions/associations. I know they've firmly cemented the 'dissident criminal'.
    The continued or renewed criminalisation of all participants surely could rightly come back and bite a lot of these fuckers in the ass ?? They are going to become irrelevant to the brits eventually......Or is that just wishful thinking.......

  32. Aine:

    "They are going to become irrelevant to the brits eventually......Or is that just wishful thinking....."

    The Brits need them, as much as they need the brits ,because the Brits now own them, and always have, since 74!. How long did Gerry Do?. He loves Helicopter Rides!, he never knew what it was like to think, One was being chucked out of a Helicopter. I think he should be chucked out of one. But, That's only my opinion!


    Great post a cara. straight to the point.