Photoshopped by John Morrison
Click to enlarge

Excuse me?

Photoshopped by John Morrison
Click to enlarge


  1. Pensive Quill Airs Obscene Photograph of Gerry Adams

    The British Government is to ban Pensive Quill, as its unpixelated filth provokes proscription. The British Government has announced plans to ban Pensive Quill, after it displayed a graphic photo of Gerry Adams dressed in highly inappropriate combat fatigues in the wake of British TV displaying him shamelessly professing his faith, in an omnipotent Christian god who “loves all mankind” including the Brits.

    As soon as the photo was made public, Indymedia Ireland was inundated with thousands of complaints. One caller’s views were typical: “I had just sat down in front of my computer screen with all of my family and suddenly the screen was filled
    with this massive prick in combat fatigues. I think it said his name was Gerry Adams. There was no warning and he wasn’t even pixelated. My grandmother who used to go to mass in a Belfast monastery could have been watching, but thankfully she died several years ago.”

    As the number of complaints climbed to over a million, a spokesperson for Indymedia Ireland announced that it would be taking action. “This photograph is utterly obscene. I’ve never seen anything like it, with pixels and pixels of can'ts all over it and as for the Pensive Quill, it just has a collection of can'ts contributors. We simply can’t see any justification for there being that number of can*ts in one place so we have no option but to recommend to the British Government that the Pensive Quill be closed down.”

    Tonight, as Indymedia Ireland logged its ten billionth complaint (from a tribesman in the Ardoyne) Pensive Quill remained defiant , however it is difficult not to draw comparisons to an article in the mainstream British media by Tom Utley of certain issues rarely asked by Indymedia Ireland about Gerry Adams. Tom started hs article as follows;"I cannot make up my mind whether the latest issue of VIP magazine, a sort of Irish version of Hello!, belongs on the top shelf with the pornography or in the comedy section beside Private Eye and Viz.

    The friend in Belfast asked to buy it said that a lady standing beside him in the newsagent's complained of the photo of Gerry as decidedly obscene. She picked up a copy, glanced at it and threw it back on to the shelf, exclaiming: "That's disgusting!" It is easy to see her point if you look at the Pensive Quill's photograph.

  2. There was also something comic, in a very macabre way, about the whole idea of Gerry Adams giving an interview to a Hello!-style celebrity magazine. Private Eye came up with a similar idea, when it published a spoof Hello! interview with Osama bin Laden: "Mr bin Laden graciously invites us into his lovely cave" (or something like that). The difference is that the VIP interview is entirely serious, written without a suggestion of a tongue in the cheek depiction by Indymedia Ireland.

    The front page said of Adams: "The charismatic leader reveals the man that few people know". Other features advertised include an interview with Lord Mount Charles and his family "in their magnificent Slane Castle" down beside Gerry's new constituency, a bit upmarket from the Falls Road and an item on "the new face of Wonderbra".

    The interview with Adams was written in the obsequious style of all these celebrity magazines. We learned from the non Indymedia source, for example, that Adams's teeth "are a credit to a top-class orthodontist" which are difficult to find in the Lower Falls. His hands are "manicured and are the hands of an artist". As for his clothes, "his clobber these days smacks more of Armani than Burton" or in the instance of the Pensive Quill the Ardoyne jungle.

    Once Gerry was forbidden from entering England or the US the article said.. But thats all in the past. "Now, in the style of an international statesman, writer and philosopher, he is welcomed by heads of state worldwide." You couldn't make this stuff up.
    On and on the interview goes, holding Adams up to be admired for his love of wine, Irish poetry, jazz, opera and walking with his dogs (one of them is a rottweiler, by the way, but the other, a "wee mongrel", is the boss. Ain't that cute?) Though their is talk of the west Belfast dogs of war being exchanged for Dundalk peace poodles.

    "I personally think it's a great honour to be alive," he said." Tell all us peasants about it Gerry and tell Indymedia Ireland not to censor it. !

  3. God, if only Ms Streisand could see him in that pose, she would be flinging more than dollars.