The Kingdom of Pain

You can not fight, you can not hide

But still you try to free yourself

You can not run, not overcome

Your world is gone and there is nothing you can save

There is no way out, this is the kingdom of pain

This is where you die, here in the kingdom of pain – Blinded Colony

As King Kenny of Liverpool looks over his newly acquired kingdom, having being restored to the throne from where he once reigned supreme, the niggling thought must burrow deep that a long dark shadow may fall across what was previously a neon light association with the club he once again manages. With only two games under his belt, these are early days yet, but it cannot be denied that in terms of results his record is one of total failure. Two played, two lost. Not exactly the change in fortune the fans expected. It can only get better, the more optimistic might feel, but there is no iron law to state that it will. Recent trends suggest it can only get worse.

The FA Cup defeat at Manchester United while sore was not abysmal. United, despite being written off last season as over the hill, out of steam and out of pocket, remain the team to beat. Few manage. Liverpool put up a good fight even after Steven Gerrard was deservedly sent off for a vicious foul, momentarily seeming to think he was in a Southport nightclub rather than a football stadium. A touch and go penalty in the first minute was the difference between the two sides. United were criticised for playing in third gear but that is what teams do against third rate opposition, preferring to conserve their energy for the clashes with first rate opponents.

The defeat at Blackpool was the real howler. That the amusements men should take Liverpool for a ride for the second time this season is ominous for two reasons. Lightening doesn’t strike good teams twice, and the axe on Roy Hodgson’s Anfield career began its descent when Blackpool duffed Liverpool in the first exchange between the two sides.

A bad Liverpool side is not expected to beat Manchester United but a bad Liverpool side is expected to beat Blackpool. That it didn’t is indicative of just how bad this current Liverpool side is.

Liverpool could do worse than eat some humble pie. The players might think it worth their while to bear in mind that many fans died watching this club and their memory deserves more effort than is being rendered in these performances. It is not that the heavy hand of the perished should sit on the shoulder of the team, merely that their loss should be acknowledged with a continuation of the passion and commitment they paid to see and died watching. Why would anybody even pay to watch this lot? Imagine your child did not return from a game where they featured. The already terrible loss would be compounded by the lack of any possible explanation as to why the child even went to see them in the first place.

It is time to dispense with the nonsense of turning things around by stating clearly that the objective of this year’s team is to avoid relegation. It need be no blunter than that. A simple injection of realism rather than waffle. Living on the laurels of yesteryear doesn’t cut the mustard. A once great club is just that, once great. Once upon a time there was a team called Liverpool FC and it could play good soccer. The spectre that shuffles around Anfield more resembles Caspar, the opposition-friendly ghost, than the teams of Tommy Smith, Kevin Keegan, Alan Hansen et al.

An Exorcism is needed otherwise a king will be guillotined.


  1. I mentioned this once before Anthony but I think its relevant to this post ,once a long time ago while being held in one of her majesties security bases,I think it might have been the old Grand Central hotel in Royal Ave Belfast,anyway while left alone awaiting my turn for tea-n biscuits,could never understand why they insisted on one standing spreadeagled against the wall for a very long time,must have been to help the digestive system,I noticed a poster on the wall and it has left an indelible impression on me ever since, it depicted a wee mouse about to be dispatched by a swooping eagle with outstretched talons. and what was this wee fella doing....standing up proud with two fingers raised to the eagle, moral of this story Anthony Liverpool may be down and things do look bleak but they need to keep their heads up and keep on battling , it is to good a club to be allowed to go to the wall.

  2. Marty,

    I was in the place quite a few times myself. I remember that spreadeagled treatment. Got a few beatings in the place or on the way to it. Liverpool are pretty much a disgrace Marty. There is little point in me saying anything else. I hope you are right but it will not be this year or the next.

  3. All future L,pool games 2 b shown on adult channel. apparently the sight of 11 arseholes gettin hammered for 90mins is far 2 explict for general viewing. the RSPCA had 2 rush 2 L,pool the other nite cos of reports that 11 donkeys were gettn a right beating.

    A mate + Man Utd fan sent me that. Thought i'd share it mackers.

    Aye they're pretty abysmal, but there are stacks of once great clubs that are now mediocre.

    It's food for thought for the Old Firm fans who think financial benefits of the EPL would guarantee success. Leeds, Notts Forrest Newcastle etc. Blackpool were once a mighty team of old, maybe they're on the road back. You better hope Liverpool don't go their route.

    Just thought i'd make your day as i get ready with a mug-o tae 2 watch Hibs v Celtic.

  4. Ive heard of women being tied to the sink ,but do you not think Albert is tearing the arse outa it,if he was a L/pool supporter I could understand,or a psf wingnut like Mickeyboy,I think its about time Albert stepped up to the plate and tells us exactly what has become of her,I hope the rumour that he has sold her to his neighbours the clergy as a scrubber which type I havent heard yet is noting more than just that,after all our Nuala cant still be rat arsed from the christmas celebrations could she ?

  5. My local mental institution,s football team won 3-0 last night all 3 goals were scored by headers,,,,I spent the whole of yesterday pretending to be invisible and no one even noticed!,,,A man and woman had been married for some time,when the woman began to question her husband"I know you have been with a lot of women before,how many were there ?"he replied "look I dont want to upset you,there were many ,lets just leave it at that" the wife continued to beg and plead.finally the husband gave in,"lets see "he said "there was one..two..three..four..five.. six.. seven... you ..eight nine..!!!,,behind every gay man theres another,,,the Australian Gold coast surfing competition has been won by a farmer from Brisbane on a wardrobe!,,Just been offered a new job by this bloke..£600 a week working for the brittle bone society ...snapped his f##king hand od ,,,,

  6. Marty,
    I have not been well since the New Year, not sure if there was an element of witch-craft deployed, the old vodoo doll trick or those 'greenhouse gases' coming from your direction, or as you may have rightly said Albert's out of date cooking.
    Anyway, still slightly delicate but on the mend

  7. Nuala,

    great to see you back. You were missed. All we need is Robert now! Sorry to hear you were ill and hope your full recovery is speedy.

  8. Larry,

    Celtic had an easy time today.

  9. Nuala great to hear your dulcet tones aris hon,I think you need to lay of those suprise parcels that the bold Albert finds in Asda,s bins,the greenhouse gases which you speak of has not been constructed yet, yes I have acquired a number of pvc windows and frames and I intend to recycle them into a greenhouse and no hon its not a mini Colombia!so wishing you a speedy recovery and I,ll check the wee doll and make sure the pins are out.a little boy in class scratching his crotch,teacher asked him whats wrong,embarassed he said he had been circumcised and it was itchy,teacher tells him to ring his mum for advice,he comes back with his lad hanging out...teacher asks "what are you doing?" he said "mum said if I stick it out till lunchtime she,ll come and get me....

  10. Mackers,
    Nice to know someone cares, no sympathy in this house.
    Albert was trying to send his own message under a pseudonyn probably 'King Rat' last week about Liverpool.
    He said Big Mackers told me to 'blog off' but as I can see he stuffed up and did not get through.
    I thought I was dying of slow torture, lying all day listening to the water debacle.
    A friend who called to see me said Connor Murphy should be given 'A community beating' more than likely he will get a rise pre-water rates.

  11. My mate Abdul is always going on about Islam,he really must love that little sheep!

  12. Nuala it surely was a good laugh to hear the pious voices of the psf mla,s commenting on the head of the water service and his conviction for theft,the old saying is surely true there is no honour among thieves,and of course we were concerned about your health,Anthony said he hoped it wasnt swine flu.I said it was more likely mad cow disease,

  13. Anthony speaking of brother Robert, I do hope he hasnt went for a traditional long march of a short pier!or fallen into the clutches of those who melted our Mickeyboys brain, after all didnt Mickeyboy say that loyalists are gonna vote psf,mmm the evidence seems to be pointing that way,have you any idea how much a plane ticket to far far away is if true? !!!

  14. Mickeyboy if your looking for a good night out I hear the Kings Head on the Lisburn Rd Belfast is the place to be,it would suit you to the hilt mo cara, it appears to be a psf/psni watering hole now yer overblown hero sgt Storey has a throne in the place and the amount of doubles vodka,s in front of him and the kerb crawler Martyboy was a sight to behold. no sign of recession in the psf camp, and as for company well the two women who spent an hour rubbing down the sgt Bobby not a chance of a flea not being found,its a good job mrs Bob doh brains wasnt there or there would have been mass murder,anyway the bold sgt Bob was apparently lapping all this attention up and when your the size of a mountain any flattery even from slappers is appreciated.yes mo cara the new in place for our socialist leadership is now one step closer to their ultimate goal ie,a place on the Malone rd,yes mo cara I believe the antics of those wannabe,s in that hostelry last night was a carbon copy of the chapter out of animal farm where the humans and pigs were partying together and the rest of the animals looking in couldnt tell the difference.....

  15. Marty,

    I think this is moving too close to personal. What people do in clubs, of the nature outlined, is not really our concern.

  16. 'Slappers' Marty? how come people, who are supposedly at odds with conservative right wing religious thinking harbour these views of women?
    'Desperate' or 'foolishly deluded'
    'Streisand syndrome' would have been a more appropriate terms.

    Could not contact BSE or CJD do not partake of the source.

    Kind of felt sorry for old Larry Mc Kenzie. Stole a few quid thirty years ago and it was all leaked to the press.
    According to the powers that be, he would not have gotten the job in todays socio-economic climate with all the stingent security measures in place. If Liam Adams could secure work with children, then Larry could have secured a post running the Northern Bank.

  17. Marty,
    The 'Animal Farm' scenario has been played out repeatedly for years. Most of those who still retain a a degree of clout in the upper echelons of the Provisionals movement live lifestyles which are pretty much in keeping with the petty bourgeoisie.
    The gains of a precarious peace and the dividends of a dirty war have found a happy home in the bank accounts of our former revoltionaries for many years.
    Just heard recently I heard of a few local businesses changing hands not movements just hands.
    Ah well, Big Julius fiddled while Rome burned or was it West Belfast or Co Louth?

  18. Anthony dont shoot the messenger this was relayed to me by a good friend of yours, this lady and republican was shocked at what she witnessed last night,all I,m doing is painting the picture as told to me,as we say here on the Quill I believe if its true publish and be dammed.the Kings Head would not like to be refered to as a club by the way mo cara,and wouldnt you you agree the name fits those loyal brethern and a more fitting watering hole for those on the up one cannot find,I for one will be watching for more of Bob and his cronies antics in this and other hostelieries.P.S This Springfield rd lass has asked me to pass on her best regards to both yourself and Carrie,

  19. Fionnuala
    YOUR BACK!! good girl yerself. just woke up after a session yday, laughed my arse off at some of ur craics there marty. duely coppy pasted+ globalised.

    hope Robert re-enters the fray soon. lookin at cowan+co. with all those euro zillions wasted+ ireland bankrupted maybe its time we all became good protestants?

    EV-ER-TON mackers, are you in anticipation today or just the usual DREAD? cant wait my wee self!!

    Marty after readin O'Rawes book i'd ease off on big Bobby. I always found him a gent and the book confirmed it. i never engaged with him when i had the chance, prefering to be an unk ...unk...unk-known...isnt that what Elie Wallach said in the good the bad and the ugly. just sad wher SF have taken them all, mcguinnes was crap on tellytubrities, rekon he'd be a monarchist if he thought there was a vote in it. pathetically funny.

    must skidaddle the 'pool 1 up at half time...cant adam+eve it.

  20. Nuala I apoligise for calling those two women slappers it was wrong of me ,it give slappers a bad name.

  21. Nuala the Animal Farm scenario is as relevant today as it was when first mentioned in Orwells brilliant work, when we have people telling us that a liberation war was really a war over equality, and then the very same people move into the masters house and administer his affairs with gusto and to the detriment of the ordinary man and woman, so hon as the saying goes if the cap fits!

  22. Marty,

    it is not about shooting the messenger. Nor is it about the portrayal of the Kings Head. It is that what men and women happen to do in each others social company is a matter for them. It is not as if the Quill is some sort of moral guardian. We have more than enough Catholics wanting to police people's personal lives without us giving them a hand. Outing people for flirting or whatever is not what we are about. Publish and be damned is fine but what value is there in publishing tittle tattle?

  23. Marty,
    As you said yourself you were not there,so realistically how would you know how these so called 'slappers' were behaving?
    Or are women just slappers when the deviate from some morale code written by the Holy and the not so Holy men?
    To be honest don't know why I still get incensed by these statements anymore. Women will always come worse of in those type of scenarios.
    What was the night out anyway? the 'The legion of Mary's' retreat.
    Must be great craic sitting in the corner and morally policing everyone else.

  24. Anthony I do agree a cara its tittle tattle and what people do is their business I am no one sit in judgement of peoples morals nor did I attempt to do so, if it appears otherwise then I apoligise,however my friend when these people and the party they represent can affect my life and my families life by administering British laws and rules here at the same time giving the impression that they are beyond reproach both politicaly and moraly then they must be fair game for public scrutinity in how they behave publicily.Nuala stop whinging and go eat some more of Alberts 1975 pie hon!

  25. This is Supday in a short while I will be away to give the walls a talking,just sorry the old Dubarrys is gone I spent many a drunken hour there!no morals no regrets !

  26. Nuala the night out in question was a few friends of your commomly known as the bad girls,yes they may have been legion women but I,d say more of the reargaurd than Mary!

  27. Marty,

    I am not convinced it is the way to go. I have had more than my share of problems from them, but think what they do in their personal lives is their own business, unless they are moralising to the rest of, Iris Robinson like. Then their is the question of the innocent but injured party. Their partners are not part of the dispute but could end up hurt over it. I think Nuala is right too about the slappers issue but at the same time I know your humour requires license as does all good humour so I would not be irritated by that. Yet the way women are depicted is Nuala's point and it is hard to refute.

  28. Marty, 'is stop whingeing' a euphemism for 'Can't answer that one?'
    Abert said you should be sent to the 'sin bin' However, considering you may actually be in the possession of a voodoo doll of oneself, I say 'go out and enjoy, steer clear of the moral and thought police and the Kings Head of course.

  29. Right the daisy roots are on,the boat race is washed,the bangor boat is at hand,and the fork-n-knife is in the jam jar ready to drop me of at the chapel of the blessed pint,but before I go Nuala mo gra please define Streisand syndrome.

  30. dunno bout the sexism debate, im after havin a gargle in bed watched 2 games online and drank 6 charlesburg left from last evening. im gunna get up now, do the dishes, tidy the house, scrub me hollyhoks coz my 32yr old physiotherapist philippina wifey guna land in after workin at her sisters health spa in derry demandin my 47 yr old WHITE irish body
    i know yiz all have issues but get real hear, some of us are under genuine pressure!!

    marty soon as me VEC clears u+i gunna get wasted amego

  31. Marty,
    'Streisand syndrome' came about when Barbra met Gerry.
    It is a condition suffered by women who for some unexplainable reason believe the object of their desire is a 'freedom fighter'
    or a former revolutionary leader.
    These unfortunate women are so driven by the thought of spending time with some modern day Che, that everything else except the perceived kudos is obscured.
    There is a cure, however reading the GFA and 'Great Hate Little Room' over and over again can also produce side affects.

  32. Marty,
    hate to dredge up old scale that was told to me during my time of sicknesss.
    However, it sort of came to my attention that you may have missed a few stairs at home during a drinking bout?
    Any truth that your 'fork and knife' cleared off to bed and left you lying there?
    Bit of a sorry tale, that's why I thought I best get the official version.

  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

  34. Marty, I have just realised this is a very appropriate place to speak about your recent misfortune
    'Kingdom of Pain'
    Never thought you would have been stepped over in your hour of need.

  35. Well hon on christmas eve we went out for a few jars as Marie had everything in hand i.e the turkey and ham prepared and all was set for the day,when we came home I went up to the bathroom and played with my grandson who was having his bath before heading to bed,on the way back down the stairs I took flight and for a split second hon I soared like Icarus, graceful as an eagle but the landing apparently was a nil point affair in short I landed in a heap and those who witnessed the incident said invented a few new expletives, and finally ended up in hospital at 3.30 am on christmas morning where I was kept untill 7.a.m. and I must admit the back is still painfull still, so hon if my story has touched your heart and you wish to either send me money for a trip to Lourdes or come and give me a daily massage wearing a tight nurses uniform I will accept either gratefully.

  36. Antoin I do have some morals mo cara I draw the line when it comes to frogs and I dont meant the people who inhabit France mes amis.

  37. Marty,
    the days of tight uniforms are past tense I fear.
    Albert makes a good poultice though, makes them from the left over of left overs and he says they work a treat.
    The entire tale was heartwrenching, still need to confirm if your lady wife left you lying on the floor in your hour of need?
    Is Antoin Mac C, speaking in code or has he just lost it?

  38. Thats affirmative hon,as I lay on the floor contemplating life as Irelands only paraplegic long jumper and visions of the kids pushing me around the streets in a beat up old pram with me decorated like something from a Salvador Dali painting making money outa my misery,then a bright light shone and I could see my sweet Marie smiling down at me and wispering words of comfort,and then her sweet lips were kissing me and the pain seemed to ease,suddenly an even brighter light came on and I awoke to find the dog from next door licking the face of me ,as for Marie apparantly the sight of me lying on the floor was to much and she took herself of to end of that womans humanity, as for Albert,s left over poultice I may not be up to rocking at the mo but I sure as hell dont fancy becoming that mans nouvelle cuisine,and if you think that a nurse,s uniform may not be you well if ya want to come au naturel I wont mind!

  39. Marty, the truth was too awful to contemplate. Only I heard it from your nearest and dearest I would never have believed it. Lying there a broken man and she stepped over you and went to bed and slept very soundly by all accounts.(Have I just put my foot in it?)
    Anyway I have an old boiler suit, the kind they give you in Castlereagh if that's any good.
    Albert said he will steep the poultice in Holy water just to speed up recovery.

  40. Nuala its a bad sign when you beging to call yourself an old boiler,I think you need to spend a little time with me in the Leitrim hills,as for holy water unless its 85% proof I,m afraid hon it wouldnt do me any good.yes hon I may dented but I,m still howling at the moon. I heard Bob doh brains was stranded on a desert island with just a sheep and a collie dog for company,after a few days Bob started to feel frisky and started to eye up the sheep.the collie dog,s instinct kicked in and it would,nt let him anywhere near the sheep.the following morming,to his delight a beautiful young woman was washed ashore "youve saved my life" said Bob ..."can you take that f##king dog for a walk"....I,ve just seen a brilliant tribute act, Bomb Jovi "livin on a prayer"brought the house down.. B..G..N..A Someone sent that to me I think kits bang out of order....

  41. Marty,
    Albert said Big Bobby may be forced to sit on you one of these days.
    At that point I fear a poultice, even one steeped in the Holiest of waters would prove totally in- effective.
    mise eire might come to your aid though, he is offering a hitman service, 'hit one, hit one free' not a bad introductory offer.
    Sort of quicker than messing about with the old voodoo dolls.

  42. Jaysssssuuuussss Nuala hon big Bob sitting on anyone is a thought to terrrible to contemplate,nearly as bad as being left in a room with the bearded ones family,As far as Mise Eire,s services well we used to say" see him he,ll kill you for money, me I,m your friend I,ll kill you for nothing"!!!!

  43. Nuala,

    For whatever reason Albert never got through with his wind up comment. Maybe it is just as well. I would be fallen out with him by now!

    ‘Kind of felt sorry for old Larry Mc Kenzie. Stole a few quid thirty
    years ago and it was all leaked to the press.’

    Sort of my own feeling. Thought the same thing when they did it to Maskey for lifting the bank money when he was a teenager. What relevance it had to him as mayor I could not see.

  44. Larry,

    3-0 against Wolves at the weekend. Torres on target. Something right at last.

  45. Mackers,
    He was sort of drunk and had the problem that Dixie spoke about when he was trying to enter my password.
    As usual, he was only try to cause annoyance, by saying that you need to introduce a sin bin or a naughty step for anyone not adhering to the rules of the blog, he was speak specifically about me.
    He was speaking about you the other night. Saying how Sean Mc Kenna once came into his cell and said, 'Mackers told me he comes from the Markets, is that down the country somewhere?'
    'Sleepy' Devine said to pass on his regards.
    We had a good old laugh even if it did get slightly nostalgic at times.

  46. Nuala,

    And there was no where closer to Belfast city centre than the Markets.

    Tell Sleepy I was asking. One of my all time favourite buddies from the jail. Was a great help when I got out. Good guy.