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Showing posts with label entertainment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label entertainment. Show all posts
Sean Mallory shares his view of what makes for good TV viewing during the lockdown. 

Having read AM’s dilemma of frequently falling asleep during a TV programme after throwing a full glass of whiskey in to him ... fuck all to do with the programme ... I am in agreement that the choice of viewing during lockdown is quite stunted to put it bluntly.

As a person who is very particular of the programmes he watches - as like AM I hate losing time to something I would count as annoyingly wasteful - I prefer to decide to waste my own time on my own terms and have spent many days lounging in the garden, I also have a tendency to watch the more National Geographic or Attenborough themed programme rather than the mind numbing reality shows that are abundant on our screens today. If they really want to do a reality TV show then why don’t they set up camp in Wormwood Scrubs for six weeks? Now that’s reality!

Back in the day all we had were 5 TV stations, a supposed improvement upon the 3 UK stations we originally had plus of course the illegal RTE. And gone is the famous Test Card. I wonder if that wee girl is still alive?

Programmes like Lost or Twin Peaks were also off the menu for they tended to start off interesting and then it is as if the script writers very quickly are ‘lost’ for ideas and how to end the show. And now like Killing Eve (first series was brilliant) they tend to become a rehash of the same story line over and over again … mundane and time to switch off. Oh, I never watched a complete episode of Twin Peaks or Lost, never mind their series … just had an instinct that it was likely to lead complete confusion and infuriate at the same time…best avoided. Monkey Magic tended to be more entertaining with no thought required! Just like Danger Mouse, the 5 minute animation that was so loaded with adult humour that I’m convinced Pixar and the boys all took their cue from it.

But since the advent of Sky, Virgin Media, Netflix, Amazon Prime and now Disney+ our choice has been greatly enhanced and how we view completely changed. The old established channels are now referred to as ‘terrestrial channels’ which creates the impression that we have decamped earth and moved to the moon.

The compulsory TV license is no longer sufficient to cover your viewing costs. Now you must also subscribe to all those other options. It has become expensive to view with other life essentials now taking a back seat so as we can view essentials ... such as food.

No more squirming or fidgeting to avoid a toilet run before a break in a programme so as you didn’t miss anything, simply pause or catch up later ... viewing is so much easier today that we no longer miss out on anything. We simply have the choice as to when to watch and we can binge out on our favourite shows and the latest film releases. Conversations about having missed programmes are now centred around, I haven’t watched that yet but must watch it later.

Nevertheless, Sky and Virgin Media have weighed us down now with so much choice, but with such choice inevitably quality suffers.

Now we have hundreds of channels to choose from. With themes ranging from the paranormal which are usually about as paranormal as finding a set of scuba diving flippers in the grocery aisle at Lidl (which actually did happen to me … mad shop … once came across an ARC welder in a different aisle), buying bling jewellery, restoring cars that nobody wants, auctioning of granny’s auld junk and loads of channels on weapons of every type especially those that expound the virtues of having a weapon that gives you the upper hand on your neighbour should your relationship suddenly sour … literally on gently squeezing the trigger you are assured that the result will lead to your neighbour being shredded in to thousands of pieces …. job done and problem solved  … hurrah for Dixie!

As quality suffers so do we. After tedious times of surfing through the channels and finding nothing of interest we resort back to the days of 3 channels with the customary response of there’s nothing good to watch. Currently I would say that the number of channels I actually watch are limited to one or two fingers in numbers.

However, Netflix, Amazon Prime and Disney+ took viewing to a new level. Now we are freed completely from time restraints in viewing and can have total control as to when and what to watch … bingeing on box sets is the new norm ... we no longer need to wait 7 days to watch the next episode. But has the quality improved?

In my honest opinion, yes it has, as Netflix in particular have spent millions on their programmes in order to entice the viewer away from Sky or Virgin Media. Quality wins over quantity. But choosing a programme or film to watch is really down to personal taste so here are a few recommendations from Mallory:

Ozarks – We are into season 3 now but it is well worth watching. About laundering money for a Mexican cartel, living and dealing with red necks, corrupt politicians, marriage problems and the Mob. Great viewing by a group of talented actors … loved Laura Linney in the Big C.

Narcos – Mexico – one of best narcotic series ever written. They covered Escobar in Colombia too. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Subtitled and in English which gives it authentication. Characters are all real life figures.

Better Call Saul – the prequel to Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad was a series that I very nearly switched off after watching two episodes and then in the third the story line like a brick to the head it hit me … loved it immensely, the programme not the brick! But like it - this is brilliant and unusually so as prequels tend to be rubbish just as most spin offs from the main theme tend to be. The aspect of Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad that goes under the radar is just how violent they really are. The violence is subtly handled so as not to be a feature that sells the show, the story and characters do that.

Now you might think that Mallory loves his drug shows and you would be right but only particular ones: those that are well made and not totally reliant on violence to sell it. Oh, ‘She who must be Obeyed’ loved Mindhunter thought it was superb. I never watched it.

On a completely different theme to watch  … Stranger Things/ Watch this with the kids all the time … love it … there are so many old TV and film themes running through this that we play a game where we try to spot these. Brilliant show though.

Disney’s Marvel films are a must. I was never into that genre of film until lockdown and now with my youngest I have watched quite a few….thoroughly entertaining stuff with Ironman (always admired Downey Junior’s acting skills. Downey, mmm … I wonder if he ever played for Derry?) And Guardians of the Galaxy, like Danger Mouse quite witty and extremely entertaining. But our super heroes are quite destructive in saving the planet: the end justifies the means or the carnage along the way, I suppose!

And to finish: we since lockdown, as a family have what we call ‘Movie Night’ once a week …usually Thursday night. Everyone can have what they want, popcorn, crisps, Doritos, a drink (glass of whiskey included) … whatever, and each gets their turn at picking the film. Amazon have a lot of films that were supposed to be released in the cinema but instead are released on their platform … pay per view but a hell of a lot cheaper than going to the cinema! Plus, sometimes you can forget that you are part of a family.

Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican and TPQ columnist.

TV And Lockdown

Anthony McIntyre bemoans his choice of lockdown viewing.

The challenge many of us face is what to do during the lockdown when choice is so limited. Often we are reminded by the Medical Directorate that now rules over us about what not to do but normally we look for things to do rather than not to do. There is a common sense assumption that doing rather than not doing is a better way of neutralising the boredom. 

I thought I would get heaps of books read but not a single one have I completed since the start of it, despite having four or five on the go. Finding the motivation hard to come by, I reverted to the fall back position of falling back on the settee and watching TV. What a disaster that turned out to be.

I am usefully careful about what I choose to watch. I am a lazy non-engaging viewer, preferring to lounge and not be confronted with a plot too intricate or the characters too multifaceted. I like to be able to follow it whether I have a large glass of neat whiskey in my hand or a cup of coffee. My wife complains that we get nothing finished as I fall asleep half way through, if not on occasion minutes in. The point is, I like it simple.

Watching Westworld was the biggest mistake I made during the lockdown. It is mind numbingly boring and should be renamed Worstworld. It started out reasonably in Season 1 but seriously nosedived in Season 2 and despite some potential has made no improvement in Season 3. I watched it out of consideration for my daughter – and the end is not yet nigh - who asked me to hang out with her. I didn’t learn my lesson from an earlier occasion when she asked me to watch the stultifying Twin Peaks. It too started out with promise before collapsing into a David Lynch vanity project, where the quality got smaller as the Lynch ego got bigger while my urge to throw a whiskey glass at the TV screen grew exponentially.

These things become endurance tests with no reward at the end for the trial undergone, just a punishment via a deep sense of angst that so much time was invested in a useless project. Something like a cleric discovering that there is no god, only writ small.

Westworld is science fiction where only the genre symmetry works: bad science and equally bad fiction. I have watched more than a few zombie films plus the box set Walking Dead, but this time I was the zombie watching the robots on television. Hopeless and horrible, I lost interest in the plot - not that I had the slightest curiosity in keeping up with it – and the characters one by one began to flat line. Were I to resume the blanket protest tomorrow I would refuse to watch it if it was offered to combat the ennui. There is more mental stimulation to be derived from looking at a shitty wall.

Set in a Wild West American theme park, the guests can work out their killing fantasies to their hearts’ content. The hosts on whom the guests draw their pistols are programmed not to be able to harm their tormentors. Then it slowly starts to unravel as Artificial Intelligence acquires a life of its own. The robotic creations begin to become sentient beings and before long the lunatics are taking over the asylum.

Locked in Syndrome is a condition no one could relish being afflicted with, obviously, or even wish on those we might detest. The helium bag is the answer to that.  I once read a novel, Lunch with the Generals, part of which was a story told about a surgeon in Argentina whose daughter had been raped, murdered and disappeared during the country’s dirty war.  The vengeful father physically induced Locked In Syndrome in the cop responsible, a sadistic red neck from the sticks. He left the thug with only awareness of his predicament as payback. He was relieved of his arms, legs, eyes, ear drums, tongue, anything from which he might extract sensuous pleasure. As much as I had nothing but contempt for the death squad leader, it was hard not to shudder at the situation he found himself in, wishing that he had instead been administered a lethal injection. If there is a hell, unremitting boredom is its daily regime.

No point in exaggerating the symptoms and coming over as the embodiment of a cross between hypochondria and Munchausen's Syndrome given that nothing as horrendous as Locked In Syndrome has gripped me. Still, Locked Down Syndrome is a dispiriting malaise which is certain to be exacerbated by a bad choice of watching the wrong show as a means to combat the stress of cabin fever.  Multiplying the ennui chips is not a wise investment.

⏩Follow on Twitter @AnthonyMcIntyre

Locked Down Syndrome

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