I watched a crowd dressed in bright orange t-shirts, the Red Hand of Ulster plastered boldly across their chests. One woman stood out, completely smothered in the Union Jack - right down to a sparkling red white and blue bowler hat.
I know I am supposed to be here to learn. I know I am supposed to lean away from my inherent biases and view every side of this fractured city with an open mind. But as I looked at them, I realized my capacity for open-mindedness had a strict and painful boundary. I cannot look at the culture my dad came from with the same generous, seeking eyes I gave to West Belfast.
To me, Loyalism isn’t an abstract political identity or a different perspective on history. It is inextricably linked to my father’s alcoholism. It is the quiet backdrop to the violence of my childhood. The flags and the far away pattering of drums didn't feel like a cultural celebration, but the visual language of the beast that had lived in my own home. Standing on that littered street, trying to force myself to understand a culture that hurt me felt less like learning, and more like rubbing salt an old wound I had long thought healed. I had to walk away.
It makes me feel bad to write this down. I came here wanting to learn, wanting to be entirely equal and fair, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It feels selfish, in a way, to wilfully look away from an entire half of this city's culture.
But how can I look at a celebration of his identity and not see him? All I have ever learned or heard from my dad is bigoted rhetoric and pure, unadulterated hatefulness. When I see their flags and hear their songs, I don't see a community. I see my dad’s pride in being a British soldier, I hear his visceral hatred toward Republicanism, towards immigrants, towards Other.
My mind instantly flashes back to my developmental years - years spent in a perpetual state of terror, walking on eggshells just to appease a volatile man. I did everything I could to make sure he wouldn't abandon me, or worse, raise a hand to me the way he so easily did to my mum. The people lining the streets for the march might see a proud tradition, but to me, that pride is stained. It is the language of the man whose born history ruled my childhood. To ask myself to look at Loyalism with open, objective eyes isn't just a historical exercise, it's asking myself to forgive the violence in my own history before I am ready. For now, my open eyes are reserved for the places that don't look like him - though I hope with time, I can view the North in its entirety without my personal feelings covering my eyes.
Following Charlie’s advice, I dropped into the Rock Bar. The moment I crossed the threshold, the bartender caught my eye and smiled. The immediate ease of the place washed over me. I ordered a Coke and asked him where else I should visit. Without hesitation, he suggested the Felons Club. He told me it was a place where people who had lived right through the heart of the conflict gathered, and that many of them, on occasion, were happy to share a few words of their own personal history.
Buoyed by the welcome, I walked back to the house to collect my partner. I asked the woman at the bar if there was anyone who might be kind enough to talk me through the history of the photos dotted around the place. A man named Gerard, wearing a Celtic shirt, generously offered to show me the history lining the walls. He walked us through a gallery of memory and respect. There were pictures of famous rebels, the hunger strikers, the leaders of the 1916 Easter Rising, and the tragic story of Tom Williams, a young man executed in prison whose body was later secured by the IRA just so he could be buried alongside his mammy, as he had wished. There was art depicting the coffin boats of the Great Famine, and then, upstairs, the most delicate testament to human endurance: harps, crosses, and chairs painstakingly carved and crafted by the prisoners of Long Kesh.
I’ll confess, I got a bit teary eyed. The woman behind the bar caught sight of my tears and looked genuinely surprised by my emotion. I realized then the vast distance between us. To her, this raw, heavy history was an everyday reality she had long learned to respect and live beside. To me, stepping into it with fresh eyes, the visual evidence of so much collective grief was a visceral, overwhelming shock to the system.
The ideas I’d had about it being a conflict of ideals and politics was sort of slapped straight out of my head. Just crosses and harps, carved by the hands of ordinary men in cells, often dressed only with a blanket as part of their humanitarian protest to be treated as prisoners of war.
On another day, I visited the Falls exhibit at an old primary school and listened to an audio archive of the curfew implemented on the Falls. How Belfast had started as a small town, the linen mills, and the inequality in job and housing allocation between the Catholic and Protestant communities. Inevitably, I cried again. There’s this bit where they show you a ten minute film of footage from the curfew, and other events including when police broke into a Sinn Fein office in 1964 and confiscated the tricolour from the window, and the burning of homes in the area. You can see families just carrying their furniture through the street while these great big orange flames burst through window frames and lick up the brick sides.
On the 15th, we travelled to Drogheda by train and met with Christopher Owens and TPQ’s patriarch himself, Anthony McIntyre. We sat in a gorgeous little pub garden and spoke the world. I gave my thoughts on some things but it was an honour to sit back and listen to these two men who had both experienced the conflict in some regard speak of their personal history - and their taste in music, books, and drinking spirits. For this I must give my thanks to both gentlemen for their welcoming hospitality, their endless patience for my naive questions, and Christopher’s suggestion of a pre-pub Dominoes.
I fly home on the 17th, and already the thought of leaving is saddening me. There’s still so much I wish to see and hear and listen to. I am both pleased and embarrassed to say that my naive optimism and view of a complicated history remains intact - I hold hope for a United Ireland, a peaceful future, and many more such naked conversations about the burden of heritage. Belfast, you have been a dream to me. No longer will I imagine a shadowed beast and whispered history, inaccessible to those who didn’t live through the days of gunfire and fear. Thank you for your patience with me. One day I will come back with both eyes open, unburdened by personal history so that I might properly appreciate yours.
“Guitar seems so fucking loud. People walking on the crowd. Diving off the P.A. stacks. Breaking ankles, necks and backs. Then the circle begins In the thrashing pit/Fists are flying/People getting hit/Tooth chippers left and right/Skinheads in another fight/Banging heads and broken jaws Because there are no laws/ In the pit!” - D.R.I
Although some songs on here form the basis of 2001’s poor ‘Weird Revolution’, this record should have predated it. ‘After the Astronaut’ actually sounds like it was a fun album to make and still has high-quality production values and just enough weirdness to tempt back those fans who switched off thanks to ‘Electriclarryland’ and their bullshit lawsuit with Touch and Go.
The album can be streamed and purchased
Mau Maus – The Battle Scars of Human Debris
The cult UK hardcore band return with their first album in five years. Now sporting Nick Wynch (Unholy Alliance, English Dogs) on guitar, the end result is a ferociously angry record that updates the UK82 sound for the 21st century. Songs like ‘Genocide’, ‘Memento Mori’ and ‘Poppy Day’ will get moshpits going in no time.
The album can be streamed and purchased here.
Deafkids – Cicatrizes Do Futuro
Sao Palo’s Deafkids remain one of the most esoteric, forward-thinking acts of today. Focusing on rhythm as opposed to riffing, we get a suitable follow up to 2019’s ‘Metaprogramação’. Tracks like ‘Cicatrizes’ and ‘Possessao Coletiva’ are the aural equivalent of being trapped in a crumbling mental hospital: danger lurks everywhere but it’s well worth the risk.
The album can be streamed and purchased here.
Maquina – Body Transmission
Two years on from their last LP, Portugal’s Maquina return with another record that takes the drive of krautrock and the mechanical rhythms of industrial rock but have turned up the volume on the guitar amp. It takes a while to get used to but songs like ‘collapsing’ groove like a bastard while the likes of ‘bizarro’ is the sort of track that HEALTH should be making.
The album can be streamed and purchased here.
Golden Oldies
Pete Sandoval sounds surprisingly good for someone who couldn’t play on Morbid Angel’s disastrous “Illud Divinum Insanus” because of back trouble. Musically, it’s certainly a lot more brutal than ‘Darker Days Ahead.’ Tracks like ‘Flesh to Dust’ and ‘Evolving Era’ are particular stand outs for drumming and guitar work.
Vektor – Outer Isolation
It’s clear that the group worship Voivod (note the sci-fi influenced artwork and a logo that borders on plagiarism), but that’s no bad thing, is it? The well-timed melodic break on ‘Venus Project’ is strong evidence that they know exactly what they’re doing and there’s enough punch throughout the LP to make you realise that Vektor stand on their own.
Orange Goblin – A Eulogy for the Damned
On this record, Orange Goblin left the stoner tag behind them and began to aim to elevate themselves to rock elders status. While it didn’t quite succeed, this is still a riff packed album, with a thick sound and bass and guitar locking impressively. Opener ‘Red Tide Rising’ is a surprisingly full and pulsating track while ‘The Filthy And The Few’ has an 80s cock rock drive.
Laibach – Spectre
The 2008 financial crisis, European austerity crisis and reemergence of Russia as a provocative state inspired Laibach no end. Although not an album where you can pick stand out tracks, as they don’t jump out at the listener the way they should. Taken as an album, it’s an exciting and dark electro/industrial piece that urges us to take up arms and join the state of NSK.
On 14 July 1889, socialist delegates from across the world gathered in Paris to form the Second International. Their principle was simple: “The worker’s struggle has no borders.” because capital crossed them too.
Modern liberals have spent decades twisting that principle into an argument for the unrestricted movement of cheap labour. They are wrong.
Ask them what internationalism means today and you will hear about open borders, labour mobility and the free movement of people as an unquestionable good. What you will rarely hear is the word that mattered most to the socialists who met in Paris: capital.
Nearly 400 delegates from around 20 countries attended the founding congress. They did not meet to abolish nations. They met to stop capital using nations, and the workers within them, as weapons against one another.
That distinction has been buried. The left has paid dearly for it.
Modern internationalism asks workers to celebrate a system in which corporations move money, factories and labour wherever wages are lowest. When that movement drives down pay and weakens unions, we are told the resulting competition is solidarity.
The game was due to be part of the scheduled fixtures in yet another European international competition, the European Nations League. Due to the genocide being committed by the Israeli state against Palestinian civilians, including women and children, to say nothing of purposely targeting hospitals for missile attacks, this game is surrounded in controversies. There have been countless calls for a boycott of both fixtures, the game deeming Israel to be the home side is to be played in Hungary, while the game scheduled initially for Dublin has been transferred to Serbia at the Backa Topola which is a cop out by the Football Association of Ireland (IFA).
The FAI have shown an unwillingness, inability, or a combination of both to organise a boycott of these fixtures. They have said such a boycott would cause “long lasting damage” to football under their jurisdiction. It could incur a €10.3 million fine on the association plus €5.3 million loss of revenue through gate takings. This revenue will be lost anyway because the games are due to be played behind closed doors in the so-called neutral venues Hungary and Serbia. It would almost certainly result in points being deducted and relegation for the team but so what? So, it comes down to the possible loss of €10 million in financial penalties and fines against taking a principled stance in support of the women and children in Palestine. Good to see the IFA have their priorities right!!
Given the FAI consider this fudge, moving the game to Serbia, as fulfilling their responsibilities towards the Palestinian people it may now come down to those players selected to play taking action themselves. This would be a last resort but it is the players who hold the ultimate card to have the matches played or not. Arguably footballers should not have these decisions, essentially administrative determinations, forced upon them but alas, like anything else in life, sometimes we have to do things not liked. I believe such a move would be popular among the footballing public and would have the desired effect. The Professional Footballers Association Ireland, the players trade union, would support such a boycott and are bound to defend any player who refuses to play against the Israeli national side should they suffer any repercussions related to their actions. I would strongly recommend the players keep in contact with their trade union if they decide on this course of action.
Ten links to a diverse range of opinion that might be of interest to TPQ readers. They are selected not to invite agreement but curiosity. Readers can submit links to pieces they find thought provoking.
Before We Conform, Or Condemn, Let Us At Least Be Curious
They were no accidental arrivals. At one stage Irish-controlled airspace was targeted twice in two days. Each time, as Ireland's chronically underfunded defence means its air corps cannot intercept planes it had to call out the RAF to intercept the bears and force them out.
Russia was sending a deliberate message to Ireland - you are a target for Russia. This was nothing to do with Irish support for Ukraine, the standard spin of the neutrality hardliners. This was before Russia's second invasion of Ukraine. All countries are Russian targets. Every one. Neutrals and NATO alike. Every country had the bear bomber message. Russia sent the message to neutrals 'Neutrality is irrelevant. You are a target.'
It is well known why Irish airspace and waters are a target. Russia in any war intends to use Irish airspace and waters to launch ballistic missiles, and potentially nuclear missiles. That is why potentially nuclear-armed nuclear submarines frequently are in Irish waters, as with the submarine in Cork harbour some years ago.
Knowing the Irish, through chronic underfunding, is unable to do basic defence, Russia knows Ireland is dependent on the RAF and Royal Navy. However they need to be acting on an Irish request or with Irish permission. That takes time. Russia needs to know how quickly can its bear bombers or submarines intercept and evict its bear bombers and submarines. That would tell it how much time it has to launch missiles, whether ballistic or nuclear, from Ireland.
So, Irish negligence is not a threat to itself. It puts every potential target, including major cities in Europe, at risk.
People like Richard Boyd Barrett work themselves into a frenzy thinking Ireland is under pressure to join NATO. It is a figment of his paranoia and overactive imagination. I worked in politics in the area of defence. I know the private views of politicians on defence. I did not come across any TD who wants to join NATO. Not one. No party has any intention of joining NATO. Nor has NATO invited Ireland to join or even raised the issue. Neither Ireland, not Austria, not Malta nor Switzerland has any intention of joining NATO.
The pressure on defence is not to join NATO. It is simply "fix your goddamned defence. You are putting everyone at risk by your negligence."
They simply want Ireland to have standard defence neutrals like Austria, Cyprus and Switzerland have. Unlike Ireland they take defence as a neutral seriously. Austria has reached 1% of GDP on defence, and will reach 1.3% by 2032 - funded by an extra tax. Switzerland will reach 1% by 2030. Cyprus currently spends 1.8% on defence, excluding pensions. Even tiny Malta, more akin to the Aran Islands times six, spends 0.38% of GDP. Ireland spends a minuscule 0.27% of GDP - the third lowest in the world as a percentage of GDP. Only Mauritius and Haiti spend lower.
The pressure is simply on Ireland to have the sort of defence proper neutrals have. It has nothing to do with joining NATO. It is the sort of spending Ireland should be doing as a sovereign neutral state anyway. If you cannot properly secure your waters and airspace, and after one hundred years of independence still rely on your former colonial master to do your defence for you, are you really independent at all?
Half standing pissing against a tree
To hear lovers pass a stoney wall
And have breakfast tomorrow
With forgotten sorrow
♞♜♝
Oh the bar man had got sick
Two weeks maybe three
Bean an Tí
(Bean an Tí)
♞♜♝
So as the lovers passed the ancient script
And secured their sacred crypt
To fluff it out with beaten pillows
On the Willow branch
♞♜♝
Oh the bar man had got sick
Two weeks maybe three
(Bean an Tí)
♞♜♝
Bean an Tí.

2020Ten links to a diverse range of opinion that might be of interest to TPQ readers. They are selected not to invite agreement but curiosity. Readers can submit links to pieces they find thought provoking.



















