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Fírinne McIntyre 🏴writing in her diary in the days following the funeral of a much loved family friend.

Alfie Gallagher

Alfie, a chara,

I held my father’s hand as he shed a tear above your grave as the ornate box carrying the vessel that once held you was lowered into the earth. 

I did not know you the way my father did, but I have seen how he loves you, and my love for you extends from that. 

I watched your family welcome the world into their home to bid you farewell on your final journey. I watched your sister’s heart escape from her mouth in a cry of grief, and watched your mother find comfort in the many faces of those who loved you.  I watched as they caressed her face with remnants of that love which will exist for as long as all who knew you shall live.

I got to know you so intimately in two long days through stories and memories shared over whiskey drank in your whiskey-sipping-chair in your childhood home, and can only wish that it had, and regret that it had not, happened before you were gone. 

Your decision has impacted me very deeply. I cannot come to terms with the irreversibility of it all, that others are now left in your wake longing for your presence for the remainder of their lives. I feel for you, your family, and friends such as my father, who might now carry the burden of not having “saved” you.

There is so much that can be said, and it brings a further sense of finality to stop speaking, but all things, good or bad, we know come to an end.

⏩Fírinne McIntyre of synth-pop duo “mischa and the bear.”
Photo by Jason McCarthy

Alfie Gallagher

Fírinne McIntyre 🏴writing in her diary in the days following the funeral of a much loved family friend.

Alfie Gallagher

Alfie, a chara,

I held my father’s hand as he shed a tear above your grave as the ornate box carrying the vessel that once held you was lowered into the earth. 

I did not know you the way my father did, but I have seen how he loves you, and my love for you extends from that. 

I watched your family welcome the world into their home to bid you farewell on your final journey. I watched your sister’s heart escape from her mouth in a cry of grief, and watched your mother find comfort in the many faces of those who loved you.  I watched as they caressed her face with remnants of that love which will exist for as long as all who knew you shall live.

I got to know you so intimately in two long days through stories and memories shared over whiskey drank in your whiskey-sipping-chair in your childhood home, and can only wish that it had, and regret that it had not, happened before you were gone. 

Your decision has impacted me very deeply. I cannot come to terms with the irreversibility of it all, that others are now left in your wake longing for your presence for the remainder of their lives. I feel for you, your family, and friends such as my father, who might now carry the burden of not having “saved” you.

There is so much that can be said, and it brings a further sense of finality to stop speaking, but all things, good or bad, we know come to an end.

⏩Fírinne McIntyre of synth-pop duo “mischa and the bear.”
Photo by Jason McCarthy
Fírinne McIntyre Obituary

3 comments:

  1. Henry JoY10:01 PM, January 08, 2026

    Firinne, let's speak truth?
    There's a killer in each of us, some kill others, and others kill themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Henry JoY1:29 AM, January 10, 2026

      (In fairness to the gaffer, and in the interests of transparency, I did get a call before my post was published. AM's concern was that members of Alfie's family would've been hurt by
      my comment. That was far from my intent. My intent was/is to raise a more
      realistic conversation about life, death, and suicide.
      I offer my condolences to all who mourn Alfie's passing).

      Delete
    2. AM8:47 AM, January 10, 2026

      It sounded very harsh and ran against the grain of your much more regular compassionate take on matters. There is always a need for more realistic discussions about the topic but time and place should be factored into considerations. A stand alone article on such matters would have been useful where sufficient space between the subject and the personal allows for a deeper exploration. Obituaries, in my view, are simply not appropriate. Nevertheless, there was no conscious intent on your part to be hurtful.

      Delete

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