An Offer No Moron Can Refuse

Church And State 🖕 For $1,000 a MAGA preacher says God will be “an enemy to your enemies” + you get 6 more blessings.

Paula White, a conservative evangelical pastor who is a friend of Trump and a “special government employee,” has an offer no moron can refuse. Send her $1,000, and the Lord will shower you with seven must-have “supernatural blessings.” (Video)

To wit, he will:

  • Assign an angel to you
  • Be an enemy to your enemies
  • Give you prosperity
  • Take sickness away
  • Give you a long life
  • Cause increase for you
  • Give you a special year of blessing

Damn! That’s less than $150 per supernatural blessing.

However, I have questions.

  • Is there a refund if I do not receive some or all of the goodies?
  • Does my angel have a name?
  • Does this mean God will do something terrible to my enemies — if so, can I pick the flavor of retribution?
  • How much is prosperity? Like the Mega Millions, do I get to choose a one-time payment vs an annual payout?
  • Does sickness include hangovers and colds? Or is it just the serious stuff?
  • How long is a long life? If I pay extra, can I get more years?

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