The next election couldn't come quick enough and Mary Lou McDonald would become the first female Taoiseach since Queen Maeve of Connacht.
What will Mary Lou do when she becomes the first female Taoiseach since Queen Maeve? Wondered the party faithful among themselves.
"She'll mor'an likely send somebody up to Ulster to steal a prize bull," said one. "Like wot Queen Maeve did back in them days."
"Jaysus naw! That would start a war and there's the peace process goin' on up there. You can't start a war in the middle of a peace process. You could get shot for even thinkin' it!"
"I knows that! Do you think I'm stupid or somethin'? I was thinkin' that she could have it stolen from a farmer who's in the SDLP. We did steal all their clothes and nothin' happened!"
"Bullshit!!"
"Mary Lou! We didn't see you stormin' intay the room. Is anyting the matter?"
"Those two ganged up on me again so's I wouldn't get to be the First female Taoiseach since Queen Maeve!"
"It's terrible what they done right enough, Mary Lou. It's misogynistic. That's what it is... misogynistic!"
RINGGG!!
"Shh! It's Gerry on the phone! Hello Gerry how are you?"
"I was thinking Mary Lou."
"You're always thinking Gerry. That's why you're a great leader!"
"I was thinking that it was a bad idea to have a female President of Sinn Féin. I shouldn't listen to myself half the time! Now we're down to 19%."
"That's a misogynistic thing to say Gerry!"
"It would be if anyone else said it. But I'm different, I'm a great leader!"
The great leader continued to speak for quite some time, not knowing that Mary Lou had hung up on him.
She in a last desperate attempt at becoming the first female Taoiseach since Queen Maeve of Connacht drove straight to Micheál Martin's house but he refused to answer the door to her.
The End.
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Thomas Dixie Elliot is a Derry artist and a former H Block Blanketman. Follow Dixie Elliot on Twitter @IsMise_Dixie |
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