Christopher Owens ðŸ”– It’s often said that time is a great healer.


Vast, gaping wounds (both physical and mental) recede and sometimes leave a little scar as a reminder. Traumatic incidents become dimly recalled memories. And the deaths of loved ones gradually subside in favour of the good times.

However, a quick glance at Henry Rollins’ new book proves that this is not always the case.

As the author of twenty something books (most of them excerpts from his diaries detailing various tours with Black Flag, Rollins Band and his spoken word material), you know what to expect with a Rollins book: a lot of travelling, a lot of observations on everything from high culture to internal struggles and a very stern, workmanlike approach to living. To paraphrase one of his most famous set of lyrics, there is no such thing as spare time, free time nor down time. Lifetime is all there is.

In the forward, Rollins describes this book as such:

Sic, (a word which is defined by Merriam-Webster as ‘intentionally so written’) is the product of hostility, grief, the past and the present, written from 2019 through 2021. During this time, I concluded if my mobility was going to be so catastrophically limited at almost every possible turn by millions of people all over the world, who seemingly didn’t want to put a global pandemic behind them, I’d create a space where I could work without restraint or compromise. The title speaks for the writing. Consider me a hostile witness, gratefully and perpetually at your service.

Immediately, this presents an interesting opportunity for the reader as Rollins is notoriously restless. So how would he have coped with Covid?

Well, as it appears, Covid barely made a dent in his world. His solitary, misanthropic worldview had clearly prepared him for such an event and the unrest that took place after the murder of George Floyd. I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise as, if you’ve spent your career preaching about hard times, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What is illuminating (and painful) to read is that the period the book covers coincides with the murder of Joe Cole (which Rollins narrowly escaped). Although it’s well known that this one event changed Rollins’ outlook on life forever, the double whammy of turning 60 the same year as the 30th anniversary of Cole’s murder clearly left him ruminating on his lot in life:

December is the month my friend Joe Cole was murdered in 1991. This event changed my life. I’ve been, for the most part, incredibly fortunate. I can pay my expenses and never miss a meal. For this, I’m grateful. No matter how bad I feel at times, I’m in a perpetual state of gratitude for what has come my way. I have an audience that allows me to create things and put them into the world. Without these people, I don’t know what I’d do. I’m fixated on making the next thing, finishing the work, putting it out and finding something else to make. This is what I do every day. I don’t take vacations or days off. I’m obsessed with what I can come up with, accomplish and what I can do next. It’s not about money or adulation. These are often negatives disguised as assets, which can misguide and ensnare creative types. Ironically, it’s also what often staves off reality for a while and allows them periods of inspiration before their creative forces are neutralized and they become too self-aware and addicted to adulation to be effective.

Later on, he concludes that:

Even though this is the hardest month of the year for me, there are parts I learn from and evolve into a more me version of myself. Joe Cole’s murder was the single most determinant event of my life. He is dead. I am not. Why did it work out that way… I probably wouldn’t have been able to achieve this level of consciousness if Joe Cole hadn’t been murdered. I think one of the only ways to get access to this altitude of existence is to be forced into it, to be partially destroyed, almost annihilated but somehow able to survive and lose access to previous ways of considering almost everything. Even if you wanted to get back to how you were before, it’s simply not possible. Knowing what you know doesn’t allow you to be “as you were” which is not only all but impossible to remember without the help of journals but is also informed by partial knowledge. There is no turning back. This is why I disagree with analysis and medication. They trade in untruths. It’s not a matter of being broken. There’s nothing to be repaired. There is just that which is what it is.

Clearly, there is still a lot of unprocessed trauma, mixed with survivor’s guilt within him, also not helped by him being on bad terms with Cole’s parents up to their death. This, coupled with his ability to be completely open about some of the uglier aspects of his personality, and how he works to harness these aspects into something positive, is an aspect of Rollins that has always attracted people (which he also discusses in relation to the various emails he has received over the years).

Sometimes it manifests itself in ways that seem utterly juvenile, and in other ways, it makes a kind of sense. Take this section, for example:

Over the last few decades, I’ve built a world around me, comprised of anger, vengeance scenarios and flat nothing. I have no idea how much they influence how I think or the choices I make. At one time, I was broken. I fixed myself as one who’s untrained but nonetheless tasked with cauterizing open wounds and otherwise crudely patching themselves up. The repair was amateurish and grotesque. I don’t believe in therapy or any kind of psychoanalysis. If it works for someone, I’m sincerely glad but for me, it’s a nonstarter. I don’t believe in anti-depressants. Again, if they work for someone, that’s great. There’s no way I’m going to take any medication that’s designed to address issues with my brain. I believe in dealing with my lot in life. I don’t forgive and I don’t expect to be forgiven. Holding grudges is one of the greatest things a human can do. It shows fidelity. It takes dedication. As life goes on, I accumulate more and more instances where I want to bring horrific mutilation or death upon the offender…I believe in letting life happen and dealing with the consequences. For me, there’s no statute of limitations on any human act. This being the case, I live my life accordingly as best I can. If I say something less than complimentary about someone, I fully expect it to get to them eventually. That’s fine. I don’t expect to meet them and not have it come up. I figure it’s the first thing on the schedule.

No doubt about it, Rollins has lost none of the intensity that made him such a compelling front man. As a result, like most of his works, Sic is an acquired read. But, for the faithful, it lets them know that age will not dim Henry, nor will he ever relax into pensioner status without a fight.

Henry Rollins, 2022, Sic, 2.13.61 Publications ISBN-13: 978-1880985922

🕮 Christopher Owens was a reviewer for Metal Ireland and finds time to study the history and inherent contradictions of Ireland. He is currently the TPQ Friday columnist.

Sic

Christopher Owens ðŸ”– It’s often said that time is a great healer.


Vast, gaping wounds (both physical and mental) recede and sometimes leave a little scar as a reminder. Traumatic incidents become dimly recalled memories. And the deaths of loved ones gradually subside in favour of the good times.

However, a quick glance at Henry Rollins’ new book proves that this is not always the case.

As the author of twenty something books (most of them excerpts from his diaries detailing various tours with Black Flag, Rollins Band and his spoken word material), you know what to expect with a Rollins book: a lot of travelling, a lot of observations on everything from high culture to internal struggles and a very stern, workmanlike approach to living. To paraphrase one of his most famous set of lyrics, there is no such thing as spare time, free time nor down time. Lifetime is all there is.

In the forward, Rollins describes this book as such:

Sic, (a word which is defined by Merriam-Webster as ‘intentionally so written’) is the product of hostility, grief, the past and the present, written from 2019 through 2021. During this time, I concluded if my mobility was going to be so catastrophically limited at almost every possible turn by millions of people all over the world, who seemingly didn’t want to put a global pandemic behind them, I’d create a space where I could work without restraint or compromise. The title speaks for the writing. Consider me a hostile witness, gratefully and perpetually at your service.

Immediately, this presents an interesting opportunity for the reader as Rollins is notoriously restless. So how would he have coped with Covid?

Well, as it appears, Covid barely made a dent in his world. His solitary, misanthropic worldview had clearly prepared him for such an event and the unrest that took place after the murder of George Floyd. I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise as, if you’ve spent your career preaching about hard times, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What is illuminating (and painful) to read is that the period the book covers coincides with the murder of Joe Cole (which Rollins narrowly escaped). Although it’s well known that this one event changed Rollins’ outlook on life forever, the double whammy of turning 60 the same year as the 30th anniversary of Cole’s murder clearly left him ruminating on his lot in life:

December is the month my friend Joe Cole was murdered in 1991. This event changed my life. I’ve been, for the most part, incredibly fortunate. I can pay my expenses and never miss a meal. For this, I’m grateful. No matter how bad I feel at times, I’m in a perpetual state of gratitude for what has come my way. I have an audience that allows me to create things and put them into the world. Without these people, I don’t know what I’d do. I’m fixated on making the next thing, finishing the work, putting it out and finding something else to make. This is what I do every day. I don’t take vacations or days off. I’m obsessed with what I can come up with, accomplish and what I can do next. It’s not about money or adulation. These are often negatives disguised as assets, which can misguide and ensnare creative types. Ironically, it’s also what often staves off reality for a while and allows them periods of inspiration before their creative forces are neutralized and they become too self-aware and addicted to adulation to be effective.

Later on, he concludes that:

Even though this is the hardest month of the year for me, there are parts I learn from and evolve into a more me version of myself. Joe Cole’s murder was the single most determinant event of my life. He is dead. I am not. Why did it work out that way… I probably wouldn’t have been able to achieve this level of consciousness if Joe Cole hadn’t been murdered. I think one of the only ways to get access to this altitude of existence is to be forced into it, to be partially destroyed, almost annihilated but somehow able to survive and lose access to previous ways of considering almost everything. Even if you wanted to get back to how you were before, it’s simply not possible. Knowing what you know doesn’t allow you to be “as you were” which is not only all but impossible to remember without the help of journals but is also informed by partial knowledge. There is no turning back. This is why I disagree with analysis and medication. They trade in untruths. It’s not a matter of being broken. There’s nothing to be repaired. There is just that which is what it is.

Clearly, there is still a lot of unprocessed trauma, mixed with survivor’s guilt within him, also not helped by him being on bad terms with Cole’s parents up to their death. This, coupled with his ability to be completely open about some of the uglier aspects of his personality, and how he works to harness these aspects into something positive, is an aspect of Rollins that has always attracted people (which he also discusses in relation to the various emails he has received over the years).

Sometimes it manifests itself in ways that seem utterly juvenile, and in other ways, it makes a kind of sense. Take this section, for example:

Over the last few decades, I’ve built a world around me, comprised of anger, vengeance scenarios and flat nothing. I have no idea how much they influence how I think or the choices I make. At one time, I was broken. I fixed myself as one who’s untrained but nonetheless tasked with cauterizing open wounds and otherwise crudely patching themselves up. The repair was amateurish and grotesque. I don’t believe in therapy or any kind of psychoanalysis. If it works for someone, I’m sincerely glad but for me, it’s a nonstarter. I don’t believe in anti-depressants. Again, if they work for someone, that’s great. There’s no way I’m going to take any medication that’s designed to address issues with my brain. I believe in dealing with my lot in life. I don’t forgive and I don’t expect to be forgiven. Holding grudges is one of the greatest things a human can do. It shows fidelity. It takes dedication. As life goes on, I accumulate more and more instances where I want to bring horrific mutilation or death upon the offender…I believe in letting life happen and dealing with the consequences. For me, there’s no statute of limitations on any human act. This being the case, I live my life accordingly as best I can. If I say something less than complimentary about someone, I fully expect it to get to them eventually. That’s fine. I don’t expect to meet them and not have it come up. I figure it’s the first thing on the schedule.

No doubt about it, Rollins has lost none of the intensity that made him such a compelling front man. As a result, like most of his works, Sic is an acquired read. But, for the faithful, it lets them know that age will not dim Henry, nor will he ever relax into pensioner status without a fight.

Henry Rollins, 2022, Sic, 2.13.61 Publications ISBN-13: 978-1880985922

🕮 Christopher Owens was a reviewer for Metal Ireland and finds time to study the history and inherent contradictions of Ireland. He is currently the TPQ Friday columnist.

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