Caoimhin O’Muraile ☭ What Would Yer Actual Alf Make Of It?

For those of us young enough to remember the BBC sitcom, Till Death Us Do Part which ran from 1965 to 1975 this blog should bring back memories. I thought the programme hilarious as the writer, Johnny Speight, made the arch racist Alf Garnett look the idiot such characters are. 

The comedy starred Warren Mitchel as the East London working-class Tory, racist, sexist, xenophobic, anti-Semite and homophobic Alf Garnett. Dandy Nichols played his long-suffering wife, Else or, as he called her, “silly moo” and Tony Booth played his son in law, Mike Rawlins a life-long Labour supporter and everything Alf was not. Una Stubbs played Alf’s daughter Rita who often had to come between her father and husband who were arguing usually over politics or/and football. 

Alf worshiped the Royal family and was prone to going into fits of rage in defence of them. In fact he went into torrents of rants which was his trade mark for anybody who did not agree with him which was most people. He would often get out of bed in a temper and ranted for the entire day about rubbish and the Tory Party. His son in law was a committed socialist and of Irish Catholic origin everything which Alf hated and raged about, often calling him a “Scouse Git”. Alf’s wife, Else, could usually put him in his place with a quick one liner such as suggesting he may have Jewish extraction in his family to which Alf ranted loudly back, he was Church of England “like Her Majesty”. Though he was a Tory he was not a fan of Margaret Thatcher, not against her policies but because she was a woman who should know her place behind “the kitchen sink” and her husband, Denis, “should have taken a hard line with her”, though her right-wing policies he agreed with or thought they did not go far enough. The sitcom had a sequel, In Sickness and in Health which was, in my view again equally funny.

Alf was a fanatical West ham United supporter and one of his pet hates, which he often ranted about were Tottenham Hotspur and their supporters many of whom were/are Jewish. He blamed everybody but himself for his problems and hated anybody who did not support West Ham. On one occasion he blamed unemployment on Merseyside as the reason West Ham had never won the European Cup! This was because, his argument went, these “lazy Scouse Gits” are too lazy to work therefore the state pay their entry into the grounds. For this reason, free admission was because “we blady (bloody) pay for them” he ranted and despite not working they still managed to fill two grounds every week,” Anfield, home of Liverpool FC and Goodison Park home of Everton FC. Alf never actually worked himself but hated everybody else who, wanted to work but were denied this right by the capitalist system, and particularly the Conservative Party, though this political language was above Alf’s comprehension. This, according to Alf in his usual loud mouthed ranting way, put London clubs or, more accurately West Ham, at a disadvantage because they could not fill their ground because their fans “had to pay to get in and they worked.” These were the reasons West ham had never won the European Cup. This scene was shown in the show’s sequel, In Sickness and in Wealth, equally as funny, and was a response to the “Scouse Gits” European Cup successes.

So, what would Alf Garnett’s attitude be today towards the, in my view, ruinous VAR. imagine if the ref had allowed a goal to West Ham only to be overruled by VAR, it would have resulted in him going into a rage and mother of all rants. On this issue, that of VAR I would agree with Alf who, it would be imagined, would oppose VAR particularly if it was detrimental to West Ham United. VAR is of no use whatsoever and is killing football as a game. Maybe me and countless others are traditionalists but the same set of rules served the game well for over a century until the money men started fucking around to suit various TV channels. Some fans, a minority I have found, actually agree with this vandalism of the once great game but the majority hate it. There must be millions of modern-day Alf Garnett’s watching football infuriated by VAR. It is not the game I grew up with and I, not dissimilar to Alf in this respect, have often threatened to throw the tele through the fucking widow after VAR intervention.

 VAR, it could be imagined would be another reason why West ham had never won the European Cup in the mind of Alf Garnett. On the other hand, of course, in the case of the bigoted Alf, VAR could be an OK addition to the game providing every decision went in West Hams favour. For me, even when a referee’s decision is overruled in favour of my team, Man Utd, by VAR I am not happy. How can players play to the referee’s whistle, as we were always told to play, if that decision is going to be overruled? Is this the beginning of the end for the man in the middle? In all probability yes it may well be. In years to come the referee will be a thing of the past as all decisions will be made by some form of automated referee. I’m sure had VAR being around in the day of Alf Garnett writer Johnny Speight would have had a field day with the script.

Alf Garnett blamed everything and everybody, who did not support West Ham United, for the world’s problems. That is everybody bar himself of course, he was never, ever wrong. His task on earth, as he saw things was “to educate” people less intelligent than himself who, it appeared according to him, was just about everybody. Unemployment on Merseyside was the reason West Ham had no European football success, the Labour Party and particularly “yer darling Arold” (Harold Wilson leader of the Labour Party) were to blame for the country’s economic woes. When his socialist son in law asked sarcastically about Ted Heath (Heath was leader of the Conservative Party) buying a Yacht, Morning Cloud Alf replied, “he only bought that so he could win the Admirals Cup for England,” - it was nothing to do with pleasure, it was for the country!

In real life actor Warren Mitchel who played the cantankerous Alf Garnett was the absolute opposite of the sitcom character. For a kick off Mitchel was a lifelong socialist often seen selling socialist papers on the streets, the antithesis of Alf Garnett. He was also of Jewish extraction and supported Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, the team Alf often abused due to their Jewish support. He played the part brilliantly and, in my view, was hilariously funny. Many people do not share the opinion that by highlighting the stupidity of the policies held by Alf Garnett and the likes of, it showed up racism, sexism, anti-Semitism and homophobia for what they were, misnomers to draw working-class people’s attention away from their real problems. While they are, like Alf who lived in a run-down terrace house in Wapping, East London, blaming minorities for their problems they are not attacking the capitalist mode of production or the establishment for their ills, unemployment and poverty. This suits the establishment fine, keep the masses in ignorance and fear. There are those, usually on the so-called liberal left who think that characters like Garnett fuel racism, I do not agree, it shows it for the sickness it is. 

There was one occasion reportedly, when Warren Mitchel was approached by the ignorant members of the fascist National Front who congratulated him on getting things right as Alf Garnett. Mitchel then replied, “if it were not for morons like you, I would not have to do it.” Well said Warren. 

Warren Mitchel, lifelong socialist and Humanist, died in November 2015 Hampstead, London England.

Caoimhin O’Muraile
Caoimhin O’Muraile is Independent 
Socialist Republican and Marxist

Alf Garnett And VAR

Caoimhin O’Muraile ☭ What Would Yer Actual Alf Make Of It?

For those of us young enough to remember the BBC sitcom, Till Death Us Do Part which ran from 1965 to 1975 this blog should bring back memories. I thought the programme hilarious as the writer, Johnny Speight, made the arch racist Alf Garnett look the idiot such characters are. 

The comedy starred Warren Mitchel as the East London working-class Tory, racist, sexist, xenophobic, anti-Semite and homophobic Alf Garnett. Dandy Nichols played his long-suffering wife, Else or, as he called her, “silly moo” and Tony Booth played his son in law, Mike Rawlins a life-long Labour supporter and everything Alf was not. Una Stubbs played Alf’s daughter Rita who often had to come between her father and husband who were arguing usually over politics or/and football. 

Alf worshiped the Royal family and was prone to going into fits of rage in defence of them. In fact he went into torrents of rants which was his trade mark for anybody who did not agree with him which was most people. He would often get out of bed in a temper and ranted for the entire day about rubbish and the Tory Party. His son in law was a committed socialist and of Irish Catholic origin everything which Alf hated and raged about, often calling him a “Scouse Git”. Alf’s wife, Else, could usually put him in his place with a quick one liner such as suggesting he may have Jewish extraction in his family to which Alf ranted loudly back, he was Church of England “like Her Majesty”. Though he was a Tory he was not a fan of Margaret Thatcher, not against her policies but because she was a woman who should know her place behind “the kitchen sink” and her husband, Denis, “should have taken a hard line with her”, though her right-wing policies he agreed with or thought they did not go far enough. The sitcom had a sequel, In Sickness and in Health which was, in my view again equally funny.

Alf was a fanatical West ham United supporter and one of his pet hates, which he often ranted about were Tottenham Hotspur and their supporters many of whom were/are Jewish. He blamed everybody but himself for his problems and hated anybody who did not support West Ham. On one occasion he blamed unemployment on Merseyside as the reason West Ham had never won the European Cup! This was because, his argument went, these “lazy Scouse Gits” are too lazy to work therefore the state pay their entry into the grounds. For this reason, free admission was because “we blady (bloody) pay for them” he ranted and despite not working they still managed to fill two grounds every week,” Anfield, home of Liverpool FC and Goodison Park home of Everton FC. Alf never actually worked himself but hated everybody else who, wanted to work but were denied this right by the capitalist system, and particularly the Conservative Party, though this political language was above Alf’s comprehension. This, according to Alf in his usual loud mouthed ranting way, put London clubs or, more accurately West Ham, at a disadvantage because they could not fill their ground because their fans “had to pay to get in and they worked.” These were the reasons West ham had never won the European Cup. This scene was shown in the show’s sequel, In Sickness and in Wealth, equally as funny, and was a response to the “Scouse Gits” European Cup successes.

So, what would Alf Garnett’s attitude be today towards the, in my view, ruinous VAR. imagine if the ref had allowed a goal to West Ham only to be overruled by VAR, it would have resulted in him going into a rage and mother of all rants. On this issue, that of VAR I would agree with Alf who, it would be imagined, would oppose VAR particularly if it was detrimental to West Ham United. VAR is of no use whatsoever and is killing football as a game. Maybe me and countless others are traditionalists but the same set of rules served the game well for over a century until the money men started fucking around to suit various TV channels. Some fans, a minority I have found, actually agree with this vandalism of the once great game but the majority hate it. There must be millions of modern-day Alf Garnett’s watching football infuriated by VAR. It is not the game I grew up with and I, not dissimilar to Alf in this respect, have often threatened to throw the tele through the fucking widow after VAR intervention.

 VAR, it could be imagined would be another reason why West ham had never won the European Cup in the mind of Alf Garnett. On the other hand, of course, in the case of the bigoted Alf, VAR could be an OK addition to the game providing every decision went in West Hams favour. For me, even when a referee’s decision is overruled in favour of my team, Man Utd, by VAR I am not happy. How can players play to the referee’s whistle, as we were always told to play, if that decision is going to be overruled? Is this the beginning of the end for the man in the middle? In all probability yes it may well be. In years to come the referee will be a thing of the past as all decisions will be made by some form of automated referee. I’m sure had VAR being around in the day of Alf Garnett writer Johnny Speight would have had a field day with the script.

Alf Garnett blamed everything and everybody, who did not support West Ham United, for the world’s problems. That is everybody bar himself of course, he was never, ever wrong. His task on earth, as he saw things was “to educate” people less intelligent than himself who, it appeared according to him, was just about everybody. Unemployment on Merseyside was the reason West Ham had no European football success, the Labour Party and particularly “yer darling Arold” (Harold Wilson leader of the Labour Party) were to blame for the country’s economic woes. When his socialist son in law asked sarcastically about Ted Heath (Heath was leader of the Conservative Party) buying a Yacht, Morning Cloud Alf replied, “he only bought that so he could win the Admirals Cup for England,” - it was nothing to do with pleasure, it was for the country!

In real life actor Warren Mitchel who played the cantankerous Alf Garnett was the absolute opposite of the sitcom character. For a kick off Mitchel was a lifelong socialist often seen selling socialist papers on the streets, the antithesis of Alf Garnett. He was also of Jewish extraction and supported Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, the team Alf often abused due to their Jewish support. He played the part brilliantly and, in my view, was hilariously funny. Many people do not share the opinion that by highlighting the stupidity of the policies held by Alf Garnett and the likes of, it showed up racism, sexism, anti-Semitism and homophobia for what they were, misnomers to draw working-class people’s attention away from their real problems. While they are, like Alf who lived in a run-down terrace house in Wapping, East London, blaming minorities for their problems they are not attacking the capitalist mode of production or the establishment for their ills, unemployment and poverty. This suits the establishment fine, keep the masses in ignorance and fear. There are those, usually on the so-called liberal left who think that characters like Garnett fuel racism, I do not agree, it shows it for the sickness it is. 

There was one occasion reportedly, when Warren Mitchel was approached by the ignorant members of the fascist National Front who congratulated him on getting things right as Alf Garnett. Mitchel then replied, “if it were not for morons like you, I would not have to do it.” Well said Warren. 

Warren Mitchel, lifelong socialist and Humanist, died in November 2015 Hampstead, London England.

Caoimhin O’Muraile
Caoimhin O’Muraile is Independent 
Socialist Republican and Marxist

15 comments:

  1. As one young enough to remember and to have enjoyed that sitcom too, I found myself wondering where the author going with this?

    Turned out a well threaded narrative and a satisfying read.
    Buíochás dhuit a Chaoimhín

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  2. Never thought I'd see Garnett and VAR linked. In defense of VAR even though it has it's flaws I can remember half a dozen important games in the past were it would have made the result a lot fairer, least of all the UEFA corrupted Battle of Stamford Bridge Scandal in 2009. Ref's aren't perfect and VAR is an aid not a ruling.

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  3. It was a very funny show. One of the funniest parts I recall was when Alf was shown a new born black baby and was told to coo little Enoch. That drove him mad given that he loved Enoch Powell.

    Great link up play there Caoimhin!

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  4. I have seen many games where the ball was over the goal line, by a country mile, and no goal given. Howevr, VAR is not needed to solve this "error of judgement" goal line technology already exists to solve this problem.

    I jave been going to Old Yrafford and away games starting back in the late sixties and for those in attendamce VAR is a curse. At FC Unotef there is none of this sillinness, just traditional football.

    There are now two sets of rules, one with the ruinous VAR, the other set wothout. This means in the FA Cup there is no stamdardisation, of the tules. Two different variants in the same competotion, unheard of and unwanted.

    Old Alf would have a fit, blow a gasget if it went against the Hammers (also known as the Irons)

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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  5. I'm not talking about whether the ball has crossed the line, I'm talking about the missed offsides, the missed penalties, the missed red cards for violent conduct. Football has evolved. Today's game isn't confined to the stadiums nor indeed to the viewers at home. Nowadays it's podcasts, youtube channels and a plethora of other avenues in which the game lives. The days of United and Liverpool dominating are gone. Now it's gone truly global and as such there is an obscene amount of money involved. VAR is a consequence of this.

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  6. To those of us who are proper fans, meaning attended games every week, rain, hail or shine this new variant is not proper cultural football. As you pointed out, "there is an obscene amount of money involved" and todays farce is more a game of monopolly involving a football. If you had ever been to games on a regular basis you' would know what I'm talking about, if not this garbage is perhaps all you unfortunately will know. Generations will grow up having never seen proper football and for many of us our, yes our, culture has been stolen by the fucking money men whose contempt for the language I will not use on this blog. Just to say, its crap and by the way "the days" of Man Utd and Liverpool dominating are comparitively recent. In 1974, for example, we were in division two and still commanded the highest average attendance. Leeds were a prominant team in the early seventies as were Arsenal, double winners 1971.
    Times may have changed, in favour of the money men the likes of who at one time we could stiffle by picketing the turnstiles. Today the bastards sell tickets for their all seater subutio stadia before the season starts and it matters not a fuck to them whether fans attend or not.
    Today it is more like a game of monopolly involving a football, it is not the game we were brought up on. I sympathise with people who never experienced, first hand, the real thing instead of this poor immitation.

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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  7. I prefer today's soccer by far. I dislike the VAR disruptiveness but think the game is fairer for the reasons Steve points out. I feel players are safer as well as fans. I like the notion of fans in and thugs out; skill rewarded, maimers banned.

    Capitalism is the system we have and greed is the driver. But our experience of socialist societies is that greed for power just replaces greed for wealth. We are left with a different system but the same situation: people on the top - people in the middle - people at the bottom.

    There are probably more people watching soccer today than ever. If people want to watch their sport on black and white television out of nostalgia, they are free to do so. The majority of fans will stay with what they have despite the problems of VAR, knowing that the pressure is on to find a way around the glitches.

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  8. How can it be fair, Anthony, Napoli scorred a perfectly good goal at Anfield and the ref allowed it. Then the pirates of VAR interfered, took the thick end of five mins to decide, probably between G and Ts in the hotel they doss in, and dissallowed the goal. The other week Marcus Rashford scored a good goal but VAR dissallowed it. No consistency and ruinous. I accept it is here to stay but will never agree with it.

    It is not Video Assisted Refereeing but Video Refereeing as it does not assist, it overrules. Imagine when you attended games, be them Celtic Park or Anfield standing on the Jungle or the Kop, your team, Celtic or Liveepool score and VAR, against the refs decision disallows it. You would, like me at OT, would have been furious and so would everybody else on those iconic terraces.

    This is the thin end of the wedge for referees, within two decades they will no longer be an on pitch referee.

    As for the "our experience of socialist societies" I assume you refer to the former USSR and satelites. They were not socialist, though an improvement on what goes on now as over 84% reportedly wanted to remain within the Soviet Union. Those countries were not perfect, far from it, but compared with now?

    Finally on a lighter note, you spoke of the episode involving a black baby in Till Death us do Part, it was hillarious. Another one which I rolled about with laughter was when his daughhter had just given birth. The infant was two days old and Alf took half a bottle of Scotch as a present for the child.

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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    Replies
    1. Caoimhin - I didn't say it was fair. I said it was fairer. That seems obvious from the data.
      One of the goals of technology in society is to limit the room for human error. How many Irish fans must wish Thierry Henry had been subject to VAR.
      I don't recall the Napoli goal but the ref made some poor decisions during that game. There is more consistency across VAR than there has been across referees.
      I don't want to see soccer return to those iconic terraces where families could not go because thugs turned up[ for violence. They alone are not the true supporters. VAR has caused players to be sent off for violent conduct which referees were willing to turn a blind eye to. End thuggery in soccer stadia both on and the pitch.
      A referee is only useful insofar as he/she can control the game and give a fair decision. If they can't do that, then they have little defense against being made redundant. If they want to have a role in the game let them by the accuracy of their decisions make VAR redundant. My view, thank fuck they are referees and not pilots.
      That statistic sounds like a CP one - and the CP is simply unworthy of belief. Socialism is like the afterlife - always sold by merchants who never actually deliver it.
      I would much prefer to live in the capitalist West than the Soviet Union, where I can at least critique and oppose the government and its policies without being sent to the gulag for it.
      Old Alf was brilliant - no doubt he would not want VAR and would long for a return to the days where a black player could be called a coon and have a banana thrown at him.

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  9. The last part of your critique Anthony, about Alf wanting a return to the old days of racism is perfectly argued. I, as one of the old school most certainly would not want that, and oppossed it then on the terraces as I do now. I am certainly not demanding a return to racist abuse as I, and other anti racists, argued and even fought with elements of our own fans. There have been times, in the past when Celtic fans, a minority were guilty of throwing banana skins on the pitch. Like at Old Trafford these were a sick minority but, nevertheless they were present and, alas, in small numbers still are.

    As for families being unable to attend games, working class families have always attended despite the overenthusiastic elements on the terraces. My dad took me back in the late sixties, early seventies, before at 13 years I went by train (jibbing) on my own. It is the bourgeois families who want everything to be "rather spiffing" and "like cricket" who now attend games at our expence. Fans cant even swear at games these days, the one day a week when working class folk could let off steam, and had been sinse the late 19th century, now gone. I remember one game when Best was having a bastard of a game. A rarity but it did happen. We were in the seats on the railway side when this big Mancunian bloke balled out, "for fucks sake George get finger out" and nobody complIined, families that is, it was part of the launguage. It was normal.

    In reference to the former eastern bloc "communist" countries ( which they were not) at least everybody had free health care, full employment, far from perfect as I've said, and a roof over their heads. Not so anymore. We are lucky insofar as having a roof over our heads, capitalist Ireland is far, far from the worst, but take a look down O'Connell Street at those less fortunate than ourselves sleeping rough. Walik out of Piccadilly Station in Manchester and it is strewn with homeless people. The same terrible situation is present in Liverpool, Birmingham, Leeds, York and countless other places. This highlights the redundancy and inadequicies of capitalism as Dickensian times return.

    I know my era of five decades will never return to football, mores the pity as, under capitalism, niether will full employment. Homelessness again under capitalism will now be a permanent fixture. To quote John Maynard Keynes, "capitalism is not caring, it is not virtuous, and it does not deliver the goods". I rekon that applies to football as life in general.

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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    1. Caoimhin - it would be well understood that you harbour no racist sentiment and have fought against it all of your political days.
      Working class people are as fond of their comforts as any other class. I guess they want them at soccer matches as much as the next fan.
      In the round the quality of stadia has much improved as has the safety. I doubt we will miss a bit of cursing although from watching soccer on TV, it seems to me it is still a feature.
      Again, you seem to be offering CP claims about its achievements. I pay as much attention to that as I do the claims of tickle down capitalism advocates. Besides, the roof over the heads of too many was a gulag one. I prefer to live in the West. "Under capitalism, man oppresses man. But under socialism, it's the other way around."

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  10. If the game hadn't evolved thanks in no small part to capitalism, we'd still have death trap stadia, brutality on the terraces and homicidal tackling abounding. I respect your nostalgia but am thankful we missed the carnage.

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  11. I understand both arguments, but still vehemently opposse VAR. It is not present in the championship or lower divisions, so particularly in the cups two systems are present.
    VAR is an unneccessary waste of time, though there is a case for improving the standard of refereeing. That wont happen because in decades to come I doubt we will have the human ref!
    I never found standing at games a death trap, and please don't use the Hillsborough tragedy as an example as that responsibility lays at the feet of the Dibble. These days I have to sit due to health problems, and even that is uncomfortable, thanks to my lack of flexibility in my left leg. If I had a choice I would stand up on the terraces. That said I would never get old either🤣🤣🏐🏐🍺🍺⚽️⚽️😂😂.
    VAR, like human refs, is inconsistent and used as a replacement referee rather than assistant ref.
    It is capitalism which is ruining the game rather than developing it. To quote the late great Matt Busby, "when the interests of big business take preference over those of the game it will be a sorry day". That is precisely what's happened.

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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  12. I was refering, Anthony, to people having "a roof over their heads" and "free health care" compared to what those misleadingly termed "former communist countries" have, or have not got now. Russia, the largest state of the former USSR is in a mess and other former states, including Ukraine even before the invasion, are little if any better. Like here and other western countries homelessness is rife, health care is private. I was not comparing those former "socialist" states with average living standards here. I was comparing then and now in those countries.

    Caoimhin O'Muraile

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    1. Because all your comparisons were with places outside Russia, not within it - Dublin, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham, Leeds, York - I could only but read it as a comparison with the West.

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