I pointed out that as an ex-boxer and confirmed womanizer, he was ideally equipped, physically and mentally, to tackle the no-laughing-matter issues head on.
But, because she is a Protestant and therefore sees all non-scholastic philosophy as treasonable conspiracy, she wouldn't listen.
I merely wanted to enlighten her as to what Existentialism teaches us about the human condition. It's all quite simple:
- there is no God;
- you're on your own;
- you're a pathetic, useless fraud and waste of space, whatever you do or tell yourself to the contrary, and everybody else can see it;
- everything is your own fault;
- life and the universe? - random, meaningless, pointless;
- default emotional responses to living? - dread, alienation, angst, apprehension, anomie, inauthenticity, estrangement, terror;
- nobody likes you;
- to be happy is to be a fruitcake;
- there's nothing else for it but to look back with embarrassment and forward in despair;
- you can't choose not to choose;
- something terrible will happen soon;
- you're about as funny as a migraine;
- you're shite at everything, so get used to it; not that it matters, since everything is appalling anyway;
- you'll die roaring.
I have to say, with all due modesty, I wouldn't be the fully formed, relaxed, self-assured man I am today if my life hadn’t been informed by these insightful truths.
⏩Michael Praetorius spent his working life in education and libraries. Now retired, he does a little busking in Belfast ... when he can get a pitch.