Birds. Generally pretty little things, and some quite big, that give much pleasure and are great to watch. How wonderful it is to watch a
murmuration - now there's a word and a half - of starlings race across an evening sky, wheeling and turning as if remotely controlled.
How relaxing to watch small birds come to a garden table and flap and flutter to get their share of winter feed. Is there a greater sight than the majestic eagle soaring high on warm thermals as they scour below them for prey? My old fishing friend, the Robin, brings joy and distraction in a cold winter's day, pike hunting.
Wonderful, one and all. Why then at 5 am do I want to liquidate every last fucking one of them? I am a long term member of the wide awake club and now with the brighter mornings here I am invariably just getting to sleep as these feathered fiends decide that if they are awake the rest of the world should be as well. Dozens if not hundreds of them outside my window chirping away as if they have something to be happy about. Like what could bring so much joy to these little fuckers at that ungodly hour of the morning?
And roaring at them has proved less than useless. - the bastards are chattering so loudly they don't even hear me. Unfortunately Marymo does hear me, causing her to do a bit of roaring herself. It's at this time I wonder about the eating habits of our neighbors' cats .... Methinks we are feeding them too much leaving them in no need of a good feed of bird.
Methinks, too, a shotgun may well help reduce the numbers hereabouts but then I remember that in their wisdom the Brits have me barred from having a shotgun licence. - some craic them boyos. But it makes me wonder if said gun would be any less effective without a license. I'll look into that one as I know a man whose sister's husband's nephew knows a girl from up the road who may be able to help in that regard.
As I've said, what have they got to be so fucking happy about at that time of the morning? David fucking Attenborough can have my share of them.
⏩Davy Clinton is a life long Glasgow Celtic supporter.