Social Items

TPQ
Thomas Dixie Elliot ✒ Well it's almost over. That shitty year which will forever be known as 2020. 

There have been many shitty years since the time a asteroid hit the earth and wiped out the dinosaurs. But that doesn't count as a year as some genius had yet to think about dividing time into weeks, months and years. 

That would happen years later.

The extinction of the dinosaurs opened the way for human beings to come out of the caves where they had been self-isolating out of fear that the dinosaurs would eat them. 

Of course not being able to go out and get something to eat meant that they likely ate each other. Who knows if they did or not as there were no historians about to record these things. 

History and historians would only come about when that genius thought about dividing time into weeks, months and years. 

The first human beings were naked so they got cold rather quickly. That was until the first genius on earth discovered fire and lit one for himself. Very soon it caught on and everybody wanted a fire of their own. 

Before long everyone was gathered round their fire at night watching the logs burn. It was a bit like watching TV today. Someone would say, "turn that log over and see what's on the other side." It would be the same thing, a repeat of a log burning. 

Then someone discovered cooking by accident. He was turning a log over to see what it was like on the other side and burned his finger quite badly. He stuck the finger in his mouth to ease the pain and it tasted nice so he bit it off. Naturally he couldn't eat all his fingers as he'd have no way of lighting the fire so he threw the nearest animal into the fire and ate that instead. It became the first ever roast dinner after his finger. 

Soon everyone wanted a roast dinner so they sat under the stars and ate cooked animals. 

That only happened if it didn't rain which put out the fires so they moved back into caves. They only ate out when it didn't rain. 

Then someone decided that he wanted to live in the biggest cave and watch the biggest fire while eating the biggest roast dinner. 

And the rest is history. 

What has any of this got to do with 2020 you might well ask? 

I'm left wondering what could befall us in 2021...



Thomas Dixie Elliot is a Derry artist and a former H Block Blanketman.

Follow Dixie Elliot on Twitter @IsMise_Dixie

It's Almost Over

Thomas Dixie Elliot ✒ Well it's almost over. That shitty year which will forever be known as 2020. 

There have been many shitty years since the time a asteroid hit the earth and wiped out the dinosaurs. But that doesn't count as a year as some genius had yet to think about dividing time into weeks, months and years. 

That would happen years later.

The extinction of the dinosaurs opened the way for human beings to come out of the caves where they had been self-isolating out of fear that the dinosaurs would eat them. 

Of course not being able to go out and get something to eat meant that they likely ate each other. Who knows if they did or not as there were no historians about to record these things. 

History and historians would only come about when that genius thought about dividing time into weeks, months and years. 

The first human beings were naked so they got cold rather quickly. That was until the first genius on earth discovered fire and lit one for himself. Very soon it caught on and everybody wanted a fire of their own. 

Before long everyone was gathered round their fire at night watching the logs burn. It was a bit like watching TV today. Someone would say, "turn that log over and see what's on the other side." It would be the same thing, a repeat of a log burning. 

Then someone discovered cooking by accident. He was turning a log over to see what it was like on the other side and burned his finger quite badly. He stuck the finger in his mouth to ease the pain and it tasted nice so he bit it off. Naturally he couldn't eat all his fingers as he'd have no way of lighting the fire so he threw the nearest animal into the fire and ate that instead. It became the first ever roast dinner after his finger. 

Soon everyone wanted a roast dinner so they sat under the stars and ate cooked animals. 

That only happened if it didn't rain which put out the fires so they moved back into caves. They only ate out when it didn't rain. 

Then someone decided that he wanted to live in the biggest cave and watch the biggest fire while eating the biggest roast dinner. 

And the rest is history. 

What has any of this got to do with 2020 you might well ask? 

I'm left wondering what could befall us in 2021...



Thomas Dixie Elliot is a Derry artist and a former H Block Blanketman.

Follow Dixie Elliot on Twitter @IsMise_Dixie
2020 Dixie Elliot

No comments

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)