George and The Way of the Dragon for 2 sheep a day.

Guest writer Seán Mac Eachaidh penning a response to an earlier article from John Coulter.

Lord make the nations see,

That men should brothers be,

And form one family,

The wide world ov'er

Once upon a time in a country called Egypt.  The King and his subjects lived under the constant threat of violence and death from a brutal, ignorant and insatiable Dragon. The King had long since used his position of power and trust by placing his chosen ones and institutions in a position of invidiousness to that of his lesser humans, the sheep. The chosen ones were further buffered by what would become a long-standing tradition of avoiding any facing down or removing of the intimidation of the dragon. The way of the dragon remained the silent central to all propriety and a standing absolute.  Adhering to this dragon way absolute delivered a life of immunity to any pain or sacrifice for the valued humans living under the Dragon’s looming threat. The price of such peace and invidiousness was 2 sheep a day until a change in demands from the insatiable Dragon.

The new demand from the Dragon sought humans to eat as well as sheep.  It was a demand that would shatter the previous written in stone absolute.  The cowardly king and his polity (including the media) responded by issuing a Royal decree whereby the daily human sacrifice would be chosen by a democratic drawing of lots. This new tradition brought a sort of peace from the way of the Dragon, one day at a time at the cost of one human at a time.  However as far as lotteries go and luck the time arrived when the King’s own daughter was left with the short straw and therefore the next human dinner in line to for the quiet but volatile Dragon.   So it came to be that the Princess of Egypt albeit dressed in fine clothes, surrounded and decorated in grandest state ceremonial possession and pomp is next for the honourable sacrificial dragon meal.

Then whoof at that exact moment, change from a higher order of life would intervene in the form of a man last known to be living in Palestine, suddenly appeared from the clouds descending by walking on sunbeams before the Princess.  

“Hello” he said, to the Princess of Egypt, “I am George, what’s the craic here?” he asked.

  “Oh” said the Princess; “I am being fed to thon dragon to prevent it killing all of us, it is our tradition.”  “Sweet Jesus!” exclaimed George “has anybody thought about baptising and educating the Dragon so that it might better respect and value otherness” he asked.

“Bollix are you right in the head” said the Princess of Egypt:

The Dragon was baptized at birth, went to a state Christian school like the rest of us.  My Da is the King FFS and it has shown no respect for him. Our people fed the bastard lesser humans we call sheep for years and now it wants our esteemed people for dinner. So my Da being the watery no balls dickhead that he is, initiated a lottery based on short straws and I drew one now I am fxxked here. So George, just get yourself the fxxk outta here before you end up in the Dragon’s mouth like the rest of us. Oh by the way I loved your entrance that was cool as fxxk.

 “Holy Saints of England” said, George:

I will my fxxk.  I am going kill this dragon and be famous forever.  If I slay the dragon and rescue your good self, fair pretty maiden. I will have flags named after me, days designated to me, Churches stolen in my name and then renamed George after me. You know the score Princess.  I mean like, future generations might even give out medals named after me - to their citizens for acts of slaughter and all that shit. I am not letting this opportunity pass.

Then, just as quickly as he had appeared from the clouds George wails out his sword jumps on a horse and charges like a demon possessed or a Catholic Saint in the making towards the demon Dragon and slashes the living daylights clean out of the Dragon. The rest is history. 

George got a flag, others stole churches in his name and renamed Churches in his honour, medals with his name are still handed out by royals and many other esteemed humans.  The tale of the Palestinian man that rescued a fair maid and slays a violent dragon lives still in England’s pleasant pastures seen!

Therefore, it remains a sad subversion to allegorize English colonizers with Dragons without mentioning the heroic adopted English son of sons, St George or his fair maiden and his dragon.  It is sad also surely that such an allegory placed on other adopted English sons would label them, dragons.

This leaves what I regard as a highly bizarre journalistic “appeal” or “warning” by Dr Coulter to the sons of St Patrick to preach, teach and demonstrate the Christianity of George to those political leaders who maintain the way of the dragon and get the dragons’ votes for doing so.  Surely if the Dragon is to be “calmed” the sons of St George should be summoned to this cause and if such a volatile dragon exists then address it and those who fail not just the dragon but us all.

But the days of feeding sheep and humans to dragons is not a tradition.  St George of England stopped that long time ago. Let his sons and daughters do likewise in his honour today.

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