Here Lies Gerry

Guest writer Thomas Dixie Elliot with a bit of political satire.

Gerry Adams dies - all part of the bigger process - and when the dust settles two of the presidents men gather round the grave fondly reminiscing about the things Gerry didn't do when he wasn't in the IRA.
"The things they are saying about Gerry, sure they're awful altogether....And him only in the ground."

"Dissidents! That's what Martin would call them, had he not had a fallen out with Gerry Kelly."

"Terrible sad that, both were kilt havin' fell outta thon airy plane."

"You can't fall out of planes you buck eejit!"

"Well the Secretary of State said they did! A loose door or something."

"Aye. Well those dissident news readers are saying that on a daily basis new evidence is being uncovered about Gerry's IRA past."


"Aye anti-peace process bastards!"



"THAT!!...I heered something"


"From the ground...down fucking there...where Gerry is."

"Fuck away off!"


"Fur fuck sake did ye hear that?"

"I heered something but it's kinda muffled."

The next day's headline in The Irish News...


'He told us himself' said one member of Sinn Fein who claimed to have witnessed it.

However being members of Sinn Fein and close allies of Gerry Adams most commentators believe they haven't yet adapted to the real world where telling the truth happens once in a while.


  1. Dixie-

    My best compliment that I can give your good self about " from beyond
    the grave " is to say that your pen must have a mind of its own-

  2. Love that piece Dixie, excellent wit.


    Seems SF pens had a mind of there own when they signed the Got Fuck All. so as Irish men can still be arrested and interned using MI5 secret evidence, and , what about the Weston Park Accord, Para 20, SF have still not explained why they were not happy with parts of it, maybe a so called prominent councilor like yourself could enlighten everyone on that , or , was that a directive from MI5!

  3. Thats a cracker Dixie a cara ,and its got me wondering, when the bearded one shoves of his mortal coil,will he get a military funeral?gloves beret and all. will they put the tricolour over his coffin even though he is a facilitator for paedophiles keeping up the family tradition.who will turn up to the funeral,I mean Thatcher is dead!that may leave only Tony bLIAR and maybe his brit script writers, no matter what I think the epitaph should read ,here" lies"Gerry Itwasntme, a wannbe, Wasnt me,Wasnt There.fondly remembered by the management of Shelling beach ,