Fulham?

By AM Thursday, May 3, 2012

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John McEnroe coined the angry expression, perhaps to avoid an expletive on the manicured lawns of Wimbledon, to vent it: you cannot be serious. Fulham? Up until Tuesday night the men from Craven Cottage had never won at Anfield despite having taken to the field there a total of thirty times.  Now that has been put right for the Londoners and wrong for the Scousers courtesy of a 1-0 win. Fulham didn’t even have to score the only goal of the game that secured their famous victory.  Liverpool’s Martin Skrtel did that for them.

It just gets worse and worse. If Liverpool fail to win the FA Cup this weekend, and failure is their stock-in-trade these days, then Dalglish’s future as coach must be in doubt. If not, the club’s future in top flight football will certainly be. When did a worse Liverpool side ever turn out in the club colours? Does the oldest person on Merseyside remember a side poorer than this one?

During my school days, I had a friend who was a devoted Celtic fan, Davy Clinton. He still is as far as I am aware. He used to have little Celtic player key rings that hung on his bedroom wall. Each time Celtic lost to Rangers, Davy would turn the key ring around so that the player would face the wall only to be turned back when Celtic redressed the matter by beating Rangers. I don’t have anything like that but in similar vein I am sorely tempted not to watch the upcoming cup final out of sheer disgust.

Indeed it would be a shame to soccer were Liverpool to take the trophy. Chelsea, their opponents at Wembley, despite being captained by a loutish idiot, have put in some great performances since the departure of AVB. Even Torres who had a famine has fallen upon a feast in front of goal.   Dalglish got rid of him in exchange for Andy Carroll. He also allowed Raul Meireles to go to Chelsea. What an irony it would be were each player to punish Liverpool on Saturday for both of those decisions. While it is all down to what happens on the day it would be an injustice in the round were Liverpool’s incompetence to be rewarded and Chelsea’s gutsy spirit to be snubbed.

Aside from the inherent robbery in it all, it would merely encourage Liverpool to carry on as they are with current coach and captain in place. Perhaps Ray Clemence might be brought back to replace Pepe Reina. Put Steve Heighway on the wing and he might just get a cross to land on top of the useless head of that ‘big lummox’ from Newcastle.

Last week the Basque country was the battle theatre where the Stalingrad of European club football was played out. A besieged Chelsea’s unremitting determination to hold out with only ten men against the brilliance of Barcelona left the Nou Camp in a state of shock and awe. They have a manager who can think tactically and strategically rather than mumble incoherently. He has stiffened resolve and brought the best out in an average and ageing side whereas Dalglish has managed to carve nothing from the rotten wood he was all too eager to have in his hands. In his transfer forays he has imported woodworm for the most part, useless mouths that eat up resources that would be better spent elsewhere.  The old maxim ‘if you don’t work, you don’t eat’ seems alien to Liverpool FC.

Rafa Benitez, who was told to 'walk on' out the door for providing a better service to the club than the two coaches who succeeded him, must think about writing a letter to the men that gassed him using the words of McEnroe. 

Saturday – might just take the kids for a swim.