here what's the craic about Lurgan? It's a happening up and coming place, they even got an extra railway halt outside my sisters house it's become so popular.
Little Johnny was walking home from school with his mum,telling her about his day......"mummy at playtime I saw daddys car go into the woods aunty Jane was with him "oh "said mum "carry on" "then me and Jack sneaked out and followed them and saw them kissing and ..""stop" said mum "why dont you save your story and tell us all tonight so daddy can hear to" so at dinner little Johnny told them "I saw daddys car go into the woods near school,and me and Jack went into the woods,we saw daddy kissing aunty Jane,then they took their clothes of and did that thing what mummy and uncle Bob do when daddy,s at work"..mum fainted....The moral of this story is womem should always shut up,listen and let people finish before interrupting.....
Marty saying as I use so many of your gags here's one in return
Why men shouldn't be Agony Aunts: Dear Jim, I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start, I walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter, they announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were in love, can you help me I'm desperate!
Dear reader: the most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the Alternator, hope my advice helps Jim :
Someone asked me whats the difference between a crow and a blackbird,I said crows have heavier beaks and fan shaped tails,and a blackbird has big rubbery lips ,frizzy hair and a masssive arse!
Reply to Antoin Mac C .,From her Majesty,s loyal servants in Stormont. re ,.your humble requests HA, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OH our sides are splitting dream on lad dream on!
Antoin my sister requested a new train halt at her front door. the kilwilkie youth duly obliged, right in front of her door, thats what you get for being a bouqet/BUCKET. Go go free kilwilkie lol
Antoin i was refering to my 2 sisters as buckets. As in keeping up appearances. They bought new bungallows on the oposite side of the tracks to kilwilkie a council estate. They then realised to their dismay that the elevated lines right in front of their houses is where the trains keep getting set on fire. My son informed me the last van hijacked and burnt there, they drove it down the lines rite in front of their houses. Being the black sheep and 'jailbird' in the family it gives me a chuckle to watch it on the news..Oh look, there my sisters houses!! How lovely. Quite ironic really.
Talking about trains ...what do you call a train that does,nt stop at any station..wont pick up any passengers or any mail or goods...yip ya got it ...Thomas the C##t!!!!!!!
Former IRA volunteer and ex-prisoner, spent 18 years in Long Kesh, 4 years on the blanket and no-wash/no work protests which led to the hunger strikes of the 80s. Completed PhD at Queens upon release from prison. Left the Republican Movement at the endorsement of the Good Friday Agreement, and went on to become a journalist. Co-founder of The Blanket, an online magazine that critically analyzed the Irish peace process. Lead researcher for the Belfast Project, an oral history of the Troubles.
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here what's the craic about Lurgan? It's a happening up and coming place, they even got an extra railway halt outside my sisters house it's become so popular.
ReplyDeleteSeen Bob doh Brains on the Anytout rd and by the luk o him Brians caption could have read "whats another pie"
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBristol police investigating the Joanna Yeates case say the murderer stole one of her socks...am I the only one thinking "Heather f##kin Mills!!!
ReplyDeleteLittle Johnny was walking home from school with his mum,telling her about his day......"mummy at playtime I saw daddys car go into the woods aunty Jane was with him "oh "said mum "carry on" "then me and Jack sneaked out and followed them and saw them kissing and ..""stop" said mum "why dont you save your story and tell us all tonight so daddy can hear to" so at dinner little Johnny told them "I saw daddys car go into the woods near school,and me and Jack went into the woods,we saw daddy kissing aunty Jane,then they took their clothes of and did that thing what mummy and uncle Bob do when daddy,s at work"..mum fainted....The moral of this story is womem should always shut up,listen and let people finish before interrupting.....
ReplyDeleteI got run over by a snow plough the other day "bas###d "I said through gritted teeth
ReplyDeleteMarty saying as I use so many of your gags here's one in return
ReplyDeleteWhy men shouldn't be Agony Aunts:
Dear Jim, I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start, I walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter, they announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were in love, can you help me I'm desperate!
Dear reader: the most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the Alternator, hope my advice helps Jim :
Someone asked me whats the difference between a crow and a blackbird,I said crows have heavier beaks and fan shaped tails,and a blackbird has big rubbery lips ,frizzy hair and a masssive arse!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteReply to Antoin Mac C .,From her Majesty,s loyal servants in Stormont. re ,.your humble requests HA, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OH our sides are splitting dream on lad dream on!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAntoin
ReplyDeletemy sister requested a new train halt at her front door. the kilwilkie youth duly obliged, right in front of her door, thats what you get for being a bouqet/BUCKET. Go go free kilwilkie lol
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAntoin
ReplyDeletei was refering to my 2 sisters as buckets. As in keeping up appearances. They bought new bungallows on the oposite side of the tracks to kilwilkie a council estate. They then realised to their dismay that the elevated lines right in front of their houses is where the trains keep getting set on fire. My son informed me the last van hijacked and burnt there, they drove it down the lines rite in front of their houses.
Being the black sheep and 'jailbird' in the family it gives me a chuckle to watch it on the news..Oh look, there my sisters houses!! How lovely. Quite ironic really.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTalking about trains ...what do you call a train that does,nt stop at any station..wont pick up any passengers or any mail or goods...yip ya got it ...Thomas the C##t!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete