Behead Jay Leno

Death to the infidel who would pour scorn and insult on the nation’s great leader. Jay Leno is a heretic who has insulted the one true prophet of modern Ireland, our glorious Taoiseach. And for that the penalty is something not very nice, even if BIFFO is something of a false profit making all sorts of wrong predictions about an end to the country’s economic woes. Taking the piss out of him hardly ranks therefore on the same level as taking it out of other prophets. Take it out of them and you will not live to regret it.

So what was it that Jay Leno actually did? Not a lot when you think of it. Indulged in a bit of light hearted entertainment at Brian Cowen’s expense. What odds? Virtually the whole country was doing that after his recent Good Morning Ireland performance so Leno just helped internationalise things in a humorous sort of way. The morning after the night before interview had already made its way to the international press and its face was much sterner than Leno’s.

Any one familiar with the Jay Leno Tonight show will know he is renowned for his sketches that invite ridicule. He opens his show by displaying a photo and asking the audience what the person caught on camera does for a living. On this occasion he gave them three possibilities to choose from: bartender, politician or comic. When Leno announced that the guy having a good time in the picture was a politician, not just any old politician but ‘Brian Cowen, Prime Minister of Ireland’ the studio audience fell about itself laughing. Leno could just as easily have said Boris Cowen and few would have noticed. Then just to spice things up a bit the Tonight host said ‘oh God it’s nice to know we are not the only country with drunken morons, isn’t it?’ True enough. They overpopulate the world. In BIFFO’s defence it has to be said that if he is a drunken moron he is not alone amongst Irish politicians. First among equals maybe but definitely not on his Jack Daniels.

Almost as many people are estimated to have viewed Leno’s Tonight show as live in Ireland. No small number to be mocked and scorned in front of. Needless to say the patriots of Ireland – who only last week were all gleeful at BIFFO’s misfortune - began to complain to RTE’s Liveline, insisting on an apology from the NBC network which features Leno’s show. Cowen, however, even if he was smarting refrained from getting involved. He might even have decided to taken it on the chin and passed it off as a comedy skit, something that goes with the turf. In any event NBC don’t look like they are for folding and giving into the demands of patriotic Ireland (probably none other than the stalwarts of local Fianna Fail cumainn). Good for NBC and anybody else who stands up against the humour haters and in defence of the profane, the sacrilegious and the right to mock. There are enough maniacs running around in religious circles screaming ‘blasphemy’ at whatever it is annoys their fancy without the creation of secular saints, to whose defence will spring every charlatan and their axe.

As for BIFFO, have as many as you like Brian. You are just toasting the national Zeitgeist all the way down.


  1. have to agree with you AM-
    we have not lost our sense of humour, just lost some more to the
    snobbish clan,
    99% will laugh when they hear a joke, now you will get a death threat if you joke about the islams
    nobody will talk to you if you say a joke about gays and it looks like the IRISH are of limits now,well IRISH politicians,
    Noble Biffo Controversy,
    human haters is a good term- [ of
    topic, finished a book yesterday
    called HATER by david moody a good scary yarn ] every body should have the right to laugh and mock
    biffo does not mind being the leader of a 26 county party, thats
    one of the great jokes.

  2. Michaelhenry,

    have you tried Stig Larsson? If you like novels his stuff is very good. You are on the money here. The destruction of humour by the lemon sucking long faces would suck quality out of life. It has been said that there are no racist jokes, just racists that tell jokes. Depending on how it is interpreted I think there is a lot in that. I love how a joke is structured.

  3. Well some Irish politicians are off limits, still have to be very careful what you say.

    Speaking of jokes and politicians, Marty McGuinness and Robbo were on the news speaking about jobs and economic investment.

    Not a word from McGuinness about the fact that, some of his party are currently holding down three or four jobs. There is a job rotation policy amongst the shinners and their supporters in the West, which is quite despicable.

  4. Nuala,

    the power of patronage is a powerful mechanism of control

  5. Mackers, they are still speaking the old speak about their voters being disadvantaged and marginalised only now they are the main culprits.

    Everytime a new committee is set up, for some new shared future scheme or other, they are all there, the same faces year in and year out.
    Some of them, who we could all name have three, four, five jobs.
    No shame, just paraded out in their new clothes!

    Then we have to listen to that half-wit tosser Mc Guinness speak about the benefits of economic investment.

    'Jobs cannot be created overnight' he says, they can on our road. However ,the only people ever in line for them is themselves.

  6. So AM, been curious as to your view on the Stieg Larsson books. I'm on the fence whether to take the time to read them. Tell me are they worthwhile or worthless? I read Danny Morrison's review the other day which I cut and pasted below and he hated it. As I admire both your writing styles I'd be interested to see if you disagree.

    "Finished ‘The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’ which I found tedious and long-winded. Derivative ‘Silence Of The Lambs’. Cannot understand the sensation around Stieg Larrson’s trilogy; and although my brother-in-law bought me all three as a present in August I doubt if I shall read the other two. I felt the same about Harry Potter - couldn’t wait to finish one that I was reviewing for the BBC, not because I awaited the denouement with baited breath but because it meant I could get back to reading something meaningful!"

  7. Ryan,

    novels are a matter of taste. And if Bangers does not like the Larsson ones, they may not be to his taste. I read the first two and loved them. They are a riveting read, have great character building, and interweave narratives brilliantly. I am looking forward to starting the third sometime.

  8. Ryan, I would imagine it is sour grapes with the bold Danny, not such a riveting writer himself!

  9. thank you, I will certainly give it a go. Nuala, that may well be the case. Danny Mo can definitely get on anyone's nerves with the great leader hero worship but he can at times be a riveting writer for someone like myself who is not from Ireland but enjoys reading about people's experiences during the war.

  10. Behead Jay Leno.


    I think it is were revolutions go. Charlatans are allowed to exercise so much power during the course of them that they are able to mask their failures and inflate their successes, allowing no free inquiry along the way. And without free inquire there is no opposition and therefore nothing to curb the implosion of the spirit or values that animated the idealism that helped bring revolution about.

  11. Ryan, he was one of those people whom Mackers once said 'could have bored the Brits out of Ireland'
    Have you read any of his actual books, the ones he wrote?
    Harry Potter defintely has the edge!

    Mackers, it is extremely sickening to watch, sometimes you wish you could just spirit yourself out of the equation.
    How do they look at each other, knowing what they have done?
    It beggars belief.

  12. Mackers, 'charlatans' I think you hit the nail right on its proverbial head.

    I recently attended a funeral and they, the top fat cats were all in front of me. I watched them speaking, joking and laughing and although I felt sick, I continued to watch because I was interested to see if they actually looked at each other.
    To be honest half way through I had to stop looking as I don't think I ever observed so many plastic people.

    I was so totally relieved when we got to the car and sped away from it all.
    All that day the phrase more honour amongst thieves stuck in my head.

  13. Nuala,
    I only read "The Dead Voices" or something similar to that title. I'm embarrassed to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. But like I said before it probably has more to do with being American and just being interested in people's stories from the north as I find the place rather fascinating. All the other Sinn Fein types totally bore me to tears though.

  14. Ryan,

    I thoroughly enjoyed The Wrong Man. We are what we are and can't help what we enjoy. I think he was a good writer at one time but one who went off the boil. Defending the ridiculous never makes for good copy.

  15. Ryan, I have to admit I have not read either of these books, so maybe my comment was not entirely fair. I did attempt to read one which I would prefer not to name and I thought it was woeful.
    As Mackers rightly said, books are a very individual thing, I have read books that my friends thought were great and I have been very disappointed.
    Ryan, if you enjoy them then why not, I just do not think Morrison would be the best placed person to critique a book.

  16. Behead Jay Leno.

    Ryan ,

    These days I find Bangers anything but a riveting read. He once argued that writers need to imaginatively exile themselves from the subject matter, or be exiled, otherwise they lose the ability to write well on it. I think proximity has proven detrimental to his output. Ability - which he has - without application - which he has abandoned – adds up to a diminution in quality. He is not alone in this. A few good writers from the Provisionals’ republican phase have gone off the boil in the post -republican world they now inhabit. It seems they were powerful writers when unmasking the British but the potency has left them once they took to exclusively masking the Provisionals.


    ‘How do they look at each other, knowing what they have done?
    It beggars belief.’

    You are around long enough to remember the Sticks. There is no great surprise in it. Revolutionaries from the dawn of time have been doing it.