Mosquito
We ate, it was everywhere, no
knives, forks or fools were invited.
Gorged, and I swear I've never tasted anything quite so good.
I was nervous, I thought we were alone.
The forbidden fruit tastes like truth.
I couldn't stop.
Succulence and sins, napkins drenched in blood.
Sometimes you need to feast on the fallible, it tastes like temptation.
Baptised in debauchery.
Bloody breaths taken between breathing.
More came, quietly and quickly.
The meal was becoming a feast.
Someone started to shout about rules, we ate him and spat him out.
Everybody applauded.
There were no rules, it was whatever you wanted it to be.
It was darkness delivered.
Thirsty?
What more could you possibly want.
I always thought that it was something that only I had.
I was wrong.
They were hungrier than I could ever be.
On occasion when I stopped to swallow, I watched, witnessed.
Every sin was washed into one piece of fruit.
And we fed.
Tomorrow was nowhere, this was it.
Now or never, it was raw.
More came, we were now becoming bold, brazen even, this was brilliantly bold.
I knew it was temporary, an ejaculation of everything that time told you not to remember.
Then I saw her.
I stopped everything, I swear that my heart did too.
She was it, all encompassing everything.
What would I do? Confused and conflicted.
She was alone, I'm not sure why.
Maybe she knew something I didn't.
Maybe she was poison. Toxic, but that's what drew me to her.
A moment becomes something else when beauty arrives.
I moved, I wanted her, all of her, even the poison.
I think, when I look back, before I died or whatever you call that, she was perfect.
Snow white body, it seemed to slip seamlessly into whatever it wanted to be.
Don't even ask about the smell,
Let me try to tell you.
Think of the very best words that you ever spoke.
Chew them, let your teeth grind them.
Let them slowly spill from your gums.
Inhale, take a moment, and think.
She was that thought, the first dream the one before the nightmare.
A virgin I hoped, I started to push for position.
Others were interested, the occasion they popped their head up from the feast I tried.
She was so perfect, I died for her.
Sharing was something I could never understand.
I wanted all of her, every piece of her beautiful flesh.
She never saw me coming, I touched her for the first time.
She barely noticed me, but I knew she would be mine.
Mine alone.
I was greedy, I admit that much.
How could you not be? This was every dream you ever had wrapped into one.
What would I say? Hello not an option, and a goodbye would kill me.
She was untouched, a painting yet to be brutalised.
I had to, she needed something to scar her life.
She would never forget me, not now, not ever.
Unrequited everything, the impossible becoming the reality.
Then I tasted her.
She barely noticed me, but I wouldn't leave her without a mark.
Almost invisible, she moved, the way that sleeping sadness does.
She said something that I didn't understand but she knew that I had arrived.
A whisper, a mumble, a flick of her hair.
Now she was all mine.
I started on her vulnerability, her ambivalence.
She started to enjoy my touch, we were now one.
Her smile told me so.
Her blood mine, her heart mine too.
This is nirvana, to taste her.
To truly taste, without a plate.
The other ones arrived, I knew they would, they always do.
I tried to fight them off and she smiled at my valour.
I knew I would lose, there were too many.
But that moment, before I died.
Before I was swatted away into an unholy grave.
I remember her and the smile.
The smile I wanted to eat, I hungered for her body.
The places that she would never let the masses see.
Her freckles seemed to move, like her eyes and breath did.
Her chest moved, up and down, a perfect symmetry.
I moved, one more kiss, I would die happy.
They came to gorge, there were too many.
I wanted her for myself.
They came, they tasted and they left.
They left her like I knew they would, it was brutal, I was broken.
Before I took my final breath I kissed her one last time.
She smiled, I'm not sure if it was about me but I'd like to think it was.
I left her sleeping and then I slept, never to wake.
I hope I left my intimate mark before I flew one last time
Toxic treasure I tasted before I crumbled.
Have you ever tasted it?
The stuff that spills, the rawness that is only found beneath.
Life and death so paradoxically perfected in bloody moments.
She will never forget me.
I was a mosquito.
Gorged, and I swear I've never tasted anything quite so good.
I was nervous, I thought we were alone.
The forbidden fruit tastes like truth.
I couldn't stop.
Succulence and sins, napkins drenched in blood.
Sometimes you need to feast on the fallible, it tastes like temptation.
Baptised in debauchery.
Bloody breaths taken between breathing.
More came, quietly and quickly.
The meal was becoming a feast.
Someone started to shout about rules, we ate him and spat him out.
Everybody applauded.
There were no rules, it was whatever you wanted it to be.
It was darkness delivered.
Thirsty?
What more could you possibly want.
I always thought that it was something that only I had.
I was wrong.
They were hungrier than I could ever be.
On occasion when I stopped to swallow, I watched, witnessed.
Every sin was washed into one piece of fruit.
And we fed.
Tomorrow was nowhere, this was it.
Now or never, it was raw.
More came, we were now becoming bold, brazen even, this was brilliantly bold.
I knew it was temporary, an ejaculation of everything that time told you not to remember.
Then I saw her.
I stopped everything, I swear that my heart did too.
She was it, all encompassing everything.
What would I do? Confused and conflicted.
She was alone, I'm not sure why.
Maybe she knew something I didn't.
Maybe she was poison. Toxic, but that's what drew me to her.
A moment becomes something else when beauty arrives.
I moved, I wanted her, all of her, even the poison.
I think, when I look back, before I died or whatever you call that, she was perfect.
Snow white body, it seemed to slip seamlessly into whatever it wanted to be.
Don't even ask about the smell,
Let me try to tell you.
Think of the very best words that you ever spoke.
Chew them, let your teeth grind them.
Let them slowly spill from your gums.
Inhale, take a moment, and think.
She was that thought, the first dream the one before the nightmare.
A virgin I hoped, I started to push for position.
Others were interested, the occasion they popped their head up from the feast I tried.
She was so perfect, I died for her.
Sharing was something I could never understand.
I wanted all of her, every piece of her beautiful flesh.
She never saw me coming, I touched her for the first time.
She barely noticed me, but I knew she would be mine.
Mine alone.
I was greedy, I admit that much.
How could you not be? This was every dream you ever had wrapped into one.
What would I say? Hello not an option, and a goodbye would kill me.
She was untouched, a painting yet to be brutalised.
I had to, she needed something to scar her life.
She would never forget me, not now, not ever.
Unrequited everything, the impossible becoming the reality.
Then I tasted her.
She barely noticed me, but I wouldn't leave her without a mark.
Almost invisible, she moved, the way that sleeping sadness does.
She said something that I didn't understand but she knew that I had arrived.
A whisper, a mumble, a flick of her hair.
Now she was all mine.
I started on her vulnerability, her ambivalence.
She started to enjoy my touch, we were now one.
Her smile told me so.
Her blood mine, her heart mine too.
This is nirvana, to taste her.
To truly taste, without a plate.
The other ones arrived, I knew they would, they always do.
I tried to fight them off and she smiled at my valour.
I knew I would lose, there were too many.
But that moment, before I died.
Before I was swatted away into an unholy grave.
I remember her and the smile.
The smile I wanted to eat, I hungered for her body.
The places that she would never let the masses see.
Her freckles seemed to move, like her eyes and breath did.
Her chest moved, up and down, a perfect symmetry.
I moved, one more kiss, I would die happy.
They came to gorge, there were too many.
I wanted her for myself.
They came, they tasted and they left.
They left her like I knew they would, it was brutal, I was broken.
Before I took my final breath I kissed her one last time.
She smiled, I'm not sure if it was about me but I'd like to think it was.
I left her sleeping and then I slept, never to wake.
I hope I left my intimate mark before I flew one last time
Toxic treasure I tasted before I crumbled.
Have you ever tasted it?
The stuff that spills, the rawness that is only found beneath.
Life and death so paradoxically perfected in bloody moments.
She will never forget me.
I was a mosquito.
⏩ Conor Lynam is a campaigner with the IRPWA
*Someone* got his red wings....
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