Arlene The Weeble

Sean Mallory is not enamoured of the DUP-Tory pact. He is not enamoured of a few other things either but he can explain. Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican.

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
... Hit song by Chumbawamba

Unlike Lazarus and rising from the dead and, disappointingly, not having the decency to oblige nationalist aspirations and die in the first place, Foster's political career, displayed characteristics more resembling that of a child’s weeble toy. 

This past year, being spent constantly being clobbered for her and the DUP’s unethical and immoral behaviour, she - according to what counts as journalism here -  was hailed as a genius for her and her parties success in securing a pact with the Conservatives and turning around their misfortunes. But more for her ability to bounce back up again to rub Nationalist noses in Unionist excrement. 

Foster and her motley crew of Neanderthals basked in the Tory sunshine in Downing Street as she, not May the British prime minister, announced their ‘to the devil a daughter’ pact.

Mind you, a pact agreed that will benefit of all the nation but as yet it hasn’t been explained just how that is likely to materialise since May has granted her and the DUP one billion of public funds in extra spending for the North and yet cried poverty when denying NHS nurses a pay rise. 

The DUP has publicly assured everyone that the money is for the benefit for all citizens of the North ... except those who speak Gaeilge that is.

A pact described as a torrid, squalid, dirty and filthy by influential Conservatives and having no benefit to the National interest and quite possibly extremely dangerous to the future of the Tory party – pork barrel politics.

Others simply describe it as a deplorable bung or bribe - bribery - dishonestly persuading someone to act in one’s favour by a gift of money or other inducement.

Apparently, and not intending to urinate from a great height on Arlene's parade, the one billion is actually the money that couldn’t be drawn down by the civil service while Stormont doesn’t sit to keep things running!

Flying back to the North with her barrel of goodies, Foster and her crew along with the North's Unionist press, and the other marginalised political parties demanded that the Stormont Executive be re-instated so that they could get on with allocating this tremendous windfall.

Allegedly, Dee Stitt and Jackie McDonald, just back from a meeting with local councils who have now added receiving stolen goods to their charter, about missing bonfire pallets, were seen coming out of Company's House after registering numerous companies so as not to exclude themselves out of the £100m of the one billion being devoted to deprived areas. DUP payback time for their support during the elections – inclusivity being one of those ‘peace’ words that has many meanings!

Unlike her success across the water with her protection racket against May and the Tories, good advice from Big Jackie, Foster and her DUP, and much to her annoyance, failed to convince Sinn Féin of Tory impartiality and secure the re-establishment of the Stormont Executive. But she did secure added time to try and win the game outright.

Sinn Féin, along with the marginalised, are no longer demanding she step aside over RHI, no longer demanding equality of esteem, or no longer demanding an end to the petition of concern, have dug their heels in over an Irish Language Act and refused to commit to the restoration until this is achieved. Judging by their commitment to the other issues that shouldn’t be too long! 

Away from Stormont

To the great dismay of the general public, and shaking the very foundations of global democracy, it was announced by disgruntled dissident Republicans that a split had developed in their fledgling political party, Saoradh. The existence of an egotistical self-serving clique being the cause of such disgruntlement. Reminds me of another political party now! 

As the sun sets on Stormont and the RHI scandal rises to the headlines again, reminding us of Fosters unethical behaviour, the necromancing Foster will have to conjure up another Faustian pact to counteract the fallout from this petulant irritant or like Chumbawamba, be renowned for a one hit wonder! 

Else where

Russia, having previously suffered humiliating and mocking criticism from Britain and on social media platforms, over its own aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov, being referred to as old and dilapidated, has dismissed the Royal Navy's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, as "just a convenient, large maritime target". 

The Russian hypersonic Zircon missile being the main reason why the Russians didn’t upgrade their ship as the money could be better spent. A missile described by British admiralty as unstoppable and being unable to protect their carriers against it.

HMS Queen Elizabeth ran over her budget to the tune of a costly £6.2 billion and the Lighening II aircraft being developed for her and yet to be produced is also over-running its budget due to ‘technical difficulties’. A term that usually means, it doesn’t work!

And I leave you with these words once proclaimed by a man who also believed that a divided society could be healed through hugs and kisses across the divide:

I have a dream ... in Alabama little black boys and little black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

Then one of the little white boys grew up and put a bullet through his head.

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Anthony McIntyre

Former IRA prisoner, spent 18 years in Long Kesh. Free Speech advocate, writer, historian, humanist, and researcher.

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