Prize Bull 2015

Beginning now, as an end of year one off tongue-in-cheek post, TPQ is about to press the button that will  release the white steam (smoke would not be appropriate) signalling that the conclave has concluded its deliberations and can now announce the 2015 winner of its Prize Bull award.

It goes to the poster of the comment that bears the least resemblance to reality. A lot of bull gets expressed in TPQ's comment section so the call is not an easy one. The  award winning comment has to be on a par with such bull statements as evolution never happened, the world is 6000 years old, gravity is a theory not a fact, Intelligent Design is a science, Henry Kissinger is not a war criminal, Gerry Adams was never in the IRA, there was no Holocaust - bull of that quality: pure and unadulterated.

TPQ does not seek to hold people to account for what they say in the comments section of the blog, it being considered a privileged space where vendors can practice and hawk their bull free from fear of what they say being considered self-incriminating sworn testimony forever and a day. For that reason the bull award, while not exactly a coveted prize, is a nothing more than a bit of methane merriment.

The religious always start in poll position to win this type of award given the amount of fresh steaming bull they churn out. As the late George Carlin famously quipped

In the bullshit department a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. Coz I gotta tell you the truth folks, I gotta tell you the truth. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe, in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest.

Always there or thereabouts at the end, this year was not to be theirs. The award for 2015 goes to a unionist political commenter. It would as readily have gone to a republican as they are not short a bull or two when crap is required in plentiful amounts. But the one that caught the eye more than any other comment, the one that just would not go away no matter how hard we tried to dismiss it, the one so hopelessly at variance with the facts was from Cue Bono. He did it with this little offering: During the North's conflict the British security forces would never murder people "because it would have been against the law."

So to our esteemed commenting colleague, Cue Bono, you are the distinguished winner of TPQ's prize bull award for 2015. Wear the garland with affection in the sure knowledge that it will not be yours for ever.  In the big wide world of the web there is plenty of competition, rivals only too eager to steal your crown, and place it steaming on their own vacuous cranium.

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Anthony McIntyre

Former IRA prisoner, spent 18 years in Long Kesh. Free Speech advocate, writer, historian, humanist, and researcher.

11 comments to ''Prize Bull 2015"

  1. Anthony,

    As I scrolled down through the piece and caught creationist and unionist commentator I felt increasingly anxious! I feel somewhat relieved that the steaming prize was not curled upon my head but that of Cue Bono's and having read his award winning comment I have to concur that he stands unchallenged upon the podium. I leave your very humourous award ceremony empty handed but wishing you and your family a very happy New Year.

  2. Robert,

    on this blog we might all be contenders for this award! Cue Bono took it this year for succumbing to his own moment of madness. A lot of his posts are cogent and intelligent but on this occasion he was blindsided by his blind spot.

    Happy new year to you and your family also.


    All of us @ TPQ

  3. An unenviable task AM, given there are so many examples, BS of such a outrageous consistency. Ronnie Austin deserves a mention, given what he was saying was not only BS, but dangerous BS. For those who dont remember, he had a website explicitly praising the IRA,PIRA,CIRA etc, and giving others a platform to do so too, luckily he was one step ahead of prying eyes (setting the public forum to private) :

    Ronnie Austin said...
    "Of course, we know about security service reach. The privacy setting is, basically, to help cull out unwanted individuals."

  4. Aye indeed a worthy winner, head above the herd of bullshitters,like the quisling $inner who exploded eating to many subsidised pies up in Stormont ,he was up in front of the big boss,who looking at the eejits record came to the conclusion that the eejit couldnt help himself having only half a brain,but still concluded that hell was the only place for quislings,
    So on arrival in the hall of hell auld Nick greeted this sheep from Thatcher house, no doubt you are here because you have been guided by the false bullshit from Bob Doh Brains or Sgt Tory as Anthony calls him, well because you are a fool I will give you 3 options either door 1,2 or 3 and you can have a look first before you decide, so he opened door 1 and it was indeed the flames of hell and the smell of burning bodies was something else , so he quickly closed that door and said no thanks ,he then opened door no 2 and immediately an icy blast hit him ,looking inside he saw everything and everyone frozen stiff, fuck that he said and quickly closed door no 2, he then opened door no 3 and the woofull smell of human shit hit his nostrils and made him puke,he looked in holding his nose and saw everyone was up to their necks in shit drinkng tea or coffee, I suppose I could get used to this he said so auld Nick pushed him in and closed the door, he waded over to the coffee machine and grabbed himself a cup of coffee, he got a couple of sups when all of a sudden up sprouted old ya we won Joebroy Cahill who shouted ,right lads tea break over back down on your hands and knees,,,,happy new year bah humbug its gonna be fucking worse that this one...eejits running around acting UVF or IRB ICA and all sponsored by MI5,have a good one Anthony ...

  5. DaithiD,

    there are a few who could make it but the award is not for sharing!

    What Ronnie says in the madness of his own page is not factored in - it is about our own comments.

    At the end of the day, the whole lot of them over on Bates & Wilkes Central could make the grade!

  6. I doubt if there's any of us here who aren't prone to objectification or dehumanisation when in the throes of our own particular passions. Each of us are a potential candidate for this award.

    A few days ago I had the privilege to attend a very cleverly curated exhibition in The Pompidou Centre, Malaga, which addresses this very theme. The exhibition is divided into several sections: metamorphoses, the body in pieces, the political body, self-portraits and man without a face.

    On reading this tongue in cheek piece I was brought back to a space where I was standing in front of Magritte's The Rape.

    Cuey, we all can be blinded by our passions!

  7. AM, I should of pointed out the comment I highlighted appeared here, it alarmed me due to the flimsy nature of Ronnies protection against the states . Relying on a simple privacy setting seems suspiciously naive to me. Either way its BS. On that theme, I am suprised that most of the Bates/Wilkes comments seem to come from the same person, I wonder if someones is surveying the sites architecture?

  8. "A lot of bull gets expressed in TPQ's comment section.."

    i would contend a lot of bull gets expressed in articles here also. the person who presented you this award mentions commenters who claimed their was no holocaust. which Holocaust was he talking about. the holocaust of 65 million russians maybe. i find it funny these guys still refer to the massive holocaust/genocide which took place on this tiny island as a famine. holocaust deniers indeed. happy new year cue.

  9. Henry Joy,

    "Each of us are a potential candidate for this award."

    That is both the truth and the fun of it. Nobody is immune. It would be sad were we all to curb our nonsenses just to avoid the award!

    All nominations welcome for the end of this year.

    I would rather feature in this column than the obituaries!

    Happy New Year everyone.

  10. DaithiD,

    the latest addition to Bates @ Wilkes could easily take this award for the bull he spouts !!! George Carlin was right about that lot.

  11. A.M. Amen.

    Here's hoping that we're all (and that includes Jerome G. too) still in this theatre of the absurd and eligible recipients for Prize Bull award 2016!


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