Anthony McIntyre missed a recent Belfast gig featuring Big Bertha and her band, The Bigots.



Bertha, due to not yet having made a success of her singing career, is better known by her off stage persona, Leah Finlay. Bearing a passing resemblance to Cyril Smith, the former Liberal Party MP, she hails from the sleepy village of Killen in Tyrone's Castlederg, which the 2001 census estimated was home to a population of 231. Occasionally, part of it is stirred out of its slumber by the sight of Catholics, but only Roman ones. The rest, whoever they might be, are presumably safe from Bertha's blasting.

TPQ is still trying to establish if the name of Bertha's village is shorthand for Killen All Catholics. 

Bertha, multi-talented, has put her anathema for Catholics to song and dance. Her music video at a recent Belfast gig has gone viral and fans of the Northern Irish soccer team are bidding for her shirt which they wish to turn into a banner to be held aloft by around fifty of their supporters at the next Windsor Park game.

When she is not venting her spleen against those terrible Taigs, Bertha is a travelling soccer supporter, but not for much longer it would seem. One newspaper has reported that Bertha and the Bigots "will be issued with a ban in a joint effort between the IFA and the Amalgamation of Northern Ireland Supporters' Clubs (AONISC)." Not just a hockey player on the ditch, she claims to have at some stage in her life worked for Killen Rangers. Friends are quick to point out that Bertha is eager to avoid any confusion that may arise from the club name. She is for Killen Celtic supporters not Rangers one: that Catholic thing again.

A local paper who labelled Bertha a vile bigot carried a photo of a much younger performer who is now eager to demonstrate that she is progressing in the world of entertainment and is twice the woman she used to be.


The younger Bertha dancing on a table would not have been considered by a risk assessor as posing the same level of threat to the stability of the table as her older self. This has prompted concerns amongst some concert goers who have since reported the gig to Health & Safety authorities. They are worried that with the heavy hitter the worse for wear, she could have fallen off the table upon which she was gyrating and crushed her adoring fans. One suggested compromise is to allow Catholics a front row seat so that when Bertha falls it will be on them.

When asked by TPQ for its reaction the PSNI said there is no live investigation under way as no one has died and if any Catholics do die it is not a matter for them as they do not investigate dead Catholics.

On being contacted by TPQ, Bertha said she would talk to us when sober: our Morning Thought slot had convinced her that we hate Catholics too.

Leah Hates Catholics

Anthony McIntyre missed a recent Belfast gig featuring Big Bertha and her band, The Bigots.



Bertha, due to not yet having made a success of her singing career, is better known by her off stage persona, Leah Finlay. Bearing a passing resemblance to Cyril Smith, the former Liberal Party MP, she hails from the sleepy village of Killen in Tyrone's Castlederg, which the 2001 census estimated was home to a population of 231. Occasionally, part of it is stirred out of its slumber by the sight of Catholics, but only Roman ones. The rest, whoever they might be, are presumably safe from Bertha's blasting.

TPQ is still trying to establish if the name of Bertha's village is shorthand for Killen All Catholics. 

Bertha, multi-talented, has put her anathema for Catholics to song and dance. Her music video at a recent Belfast gig has gone viral and fans of the Northern Irish soccer team are bidding for her shirt which they wish to turn into a banner to be held aloft by around fifty of their supporters at the next Windsor Park game.

When she is not venting her spleen against those terrible Taigs, Bertha is a travelling soccer supporter, but not for much longer it would seem. One newspaper has reported that Bertha and the Bigots "will be issued with a ban in a joint effort between the IFA and the Amalgamation of Northern Ireland Supporters' Clubs (AONISC)." Not just a hockey player on the ditch, she claims to have at some stage in her life worked for Killen Rangers. Friends are quick to point out that Bertha is eager to avoid any confusion that may arise from the club name. She is for Killen Celtic supporters not Rangers one: that Catholic thing again.

A local paper who labelled Bertha a vile bigot carried a photo of a much younger performer who is now eager to demonstrate that she is progressing in the world of entertainment and is twice the woman she used to be.


The younger Bertha dancing on a table would not have been considered by a risk assessor as posing the same level of threat to the stability of the table as her older self. This has prompted concerns amongst some concert goers who have since reported the gig to Health & Safety authorities. They are worried that with the heavy hitter the worse for wear, she could have fallen off the table upon which she was gyrating and crushed her adoring fans. One suggested compromise is to allow Catholics a front row seat so that when Bertha falls it will be on them.

When asked by TPQ for its reaction the PSNI said there is no live investigation under way as no one has died and if any Catholics do die it is not a matter for them as they do not investigate dead Catholics.

On being contacted by TPQ, Bertha said she would talk to us when sober: our Morning Thought slot had convinced her that we hate Catholics too.

9 comments:

  1. Thumbs up...funny as fcuk...

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  2. Any comment on this kid sing about how much he hates Orange bastards AM?

    https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/music/video-young-celtic-fan-sings-sectarian-song-about-rangers-kitman-jimmy-bell-14015804/vi-BBTLvBM

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  3. Steve - no comment as I haven't bothered looking at it. I would hope you have not resorted to stupid whataboutery

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  4. Nope, I condemn both. Just thought you'd be appalled at the children of the Short Strand being equally obnoxious for adult 'entertainment'.- it's not far from yours and mine old stomping ground.

    I don't think you want TPQ to be an echo chamber? I may be getting old and grouchy I'll admit.

    (And I really hate the new comments section as it's painful to navigate- Bring back the old TPQ!)

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    Replies
    1. No we don't want it to be an echo chamber with the boring predictability of whataboutery echoed time out of number. I might be appalled if I viewed the link but probably not given that Bertha and the Bigots didn't appal me. I found it ridiculous. The ridiculous invites ridicule. I viewed it through satire because there is licence to caricature. Ultimately, I have no strong feelings about it - drunk people behaving idiotically and maybe even out of character after a soccer game. Not a rarity in life.

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    2. Ah, my bad, missed the humour and just thought it was a dig at the huns. I thought she was a disgraceful cunt though. Agree with you, the drinks in the wits out.

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    3. Steve - as my wife says, if we start worrying too much and trying to police what people sing in bars in the small hours, we then have a problem.

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  5. I found the refusal of Ulster Uniomist Cllr Derek Hussey to condemn Bertha's virtuouso performance particulazrly disappointing.

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  6. God love her , I'm sure there's a taig somewhere in the family..

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